Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 11:37     Subject: How much would this bug you?
My parents pull this all the time and I make them deal with the consequences. You want to give my kids chocolate pudding half an hour before dinner? You stay at the table with them till they eat their vegetables. You let them nap till 5? You stay up with them till midnight.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 11:18     Subject: How much would this bug you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:But you weren’t honest about her being recorded either!


MIL wasn’t invited but rather inserted herself into a private home. People should realize that private homes now have security and monitors. If you don’t wish to be filmed, it’s on you to ask, it is not on the homeowners to tell. If you actively want to be on someone else’s turf, you are going to get what you get. Ask if you need to.


Yes but then OP went to verify what she was told. Which is equally troubling
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 11:17     Subject: How much would this bug you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.


I CANNOT STAND this horrid line of thinking. It’s right up there with “my wife MADE me have an affair!”

She lied because she sucks. End of story.


No she lied because OP is high strung and overly rigid and anxious and sometimes it’s not worth getting into things with her.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 11:16     Subject: How much would this bug you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is this a troll post? If you were secretly recording the activities of the house without her knowing, you’ve got a lot of nerve to act like these little lies make *her* untrustworthy.


She knows we have a Nanit monitor that goes to our phones. They give notifications of all the activity happen - that’s just the way you work unless you turn off the feature which I don’t because regularly it’s helpful to know for things like did dd have a bad nap with nanny and I should do an earlier bedtime. This was 0% snooping or something specially hidden from her. I saw the log of notifications hours later as well as her texts and said nothing about it.

I was definitely uptight with my first but with my 3rd I’m much more like feed him whatever, screens are fine if you need it. But schedule I do care about bc he and I are the ones that pay the price if he’s off of it and I have to get him back on. But it’s really the bizarre unnecessary lying claiming they were at the park while he was still asleep that was entirely unnecessary bc I wasn’t asking for updates or texting her that has me bothered


I think lying about where they are is a huge deal.

I don’t know if I would say anything to her about it, but I would make note of it and decline offers of babysitting in the future.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 11:16     Subject: How much would this bug you?
Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.


This was my thought. The hell is with the monitoring. That’s psychotic.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 11:13     Subject: How much would this bug you?
Anonymous wrote:But you weren’t honest about her being recorded either!


Come on. I doubt the baby monitor is hidden.

Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 11:10     Subject: How much would this bug you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.


Why can’t MIL follow a very simple schedule?

Grandparents will do whatever tf they want. They think your routines, food choices and rules are ridiculous. Even your mom thinks that, op.


NP. That’s absolutely fine. They can be visitors, then, and not caregivers. It is 100% fine if they just want to visit and have fun, and not babysit. If they want to babysit, they will follow the rules.


Or, you could relax. My kids are older now and out of the house, but with the benefit of hindsight I will say that I was way too uptight as a young parent and grandparents generally know what they are doing.


I'm the pp with the youngest who is a teenage and as with most things in life, this is so true. I'm actually embarrassed by some of the stuff I thought was so important when my kids were little. But to a pp comment, I actually do still have a stick up my a$$ about the importance of sleep. If I went back and did it again, that would be the hill I'd still be willing to die on. My college aged kid is so sick of me asking how much he's slept.


yeah - extra candy is no big deal. getting sleep schedules off track so parents and kids have several nights of bad sleep when parents running rate of tired is already very high is a big deal. so kids don't need a strict schedule but for those that do, i don't begrudge anyone wanting to prioritize that so that they're not trying to do their job and take care of their kids on several nights of awful sleep and crying
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 10:29     Subject: How much would this bug you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.


Why can’t MIL follow a very simple schedule?

Grandparents will do whatever tf they want. They think your routines, food choices and rules are ridiculous. Even your mom thinks that, op.


NP. That’s absolutely fine. They can be visitors, then, and not caregivers. It is 100% fine if they just want to visit and have fun, and not babysit. If they want to babysit, they will follow the rules.


Or, you could relax. My kids are older now and out of the house, but with the benefit of hindsight I will say that I was way too uptight as a young parent and grandparents generally know what they are doing.


I'm the pp with the youngest who is a teenage and as with most things in life, this is so true. I'm actually embarrassed by some of the stuff I thought was so important when my kids were little. But to a pp comment, I actually do still have a stick up my a$$ about the importance of sleep. If I went back and did it again, that would be the hill I'd still be willing to die on. My college aged kid is so sick of me asking how much he's slept.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 10:28     Subject: How much would this bug you?
Anonymous wrote:Is this a troll post? If you were secretly recording the activities of the house without her knowing, you’ve got a lot of nerve to act like these little lies make *her* untrustworthy.


She knows we have a Nanit monitor that goes to our phones. They give notifications of all the activity happen - that’s just the way you work unless you turn off the feature which I don’t because regularly it’s helpful to know for things like did dd have a bad nap with nanny and I should do an earlier bedtime. This was 0% snooping or something specially hidden from her. I saw the log of notifications hours later as well as her texts and said nothing about it.

I was definitely uptight with my first but with my 3rd I’m much more like feed him whatever, screens are fine if you need it. But schedule I do care about bc he and I are the ones that pay the price if he’s off of it and I have to get him back on. But it’s really the bizarre unnecessary lying claiming they were at the park while he was still asleep that was entirely unnecessary bc I wasn’t asking for updates or texting her that has me bothered
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 10:11     Subject: How much would this bug you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.


Why can’t MIL follow a very simple schedule?

Grandparents will do whatever tf they want. They think your routines, food choices and rules are ridiculous. Even your mom thinks that, op.


NP. That’s absolutely fine. They can be visitors, then, and not caregivers. It is 100% fine if they just want to visit and have fun, and not babysit. If they want to babysit, they will follow the rules.


Or, you could relax. My kids are older now and out of the house, but with the benefit of hindsight I will say that I was way too uptight as a young parent and grandparents generally know what they are doing.


That’s great. I never had senseless rules. The few rules I had were non-negotiable.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 07:52     Subject: How much would this bug you?
Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.


I CANNOT STAND this horrid line of thinking. It’s right up there with “my wife MADE me have an affair!”

She lied because she sucks. End of story.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 07:41     Subject: How much would this bug you?
Why are you letting her babysit when you clearly don’t trust her?

The lying wouldn’t bother me. Kid took a nap. I don’t care what time it was. She gets to deal with the f’ed up bedtime if times are off. But I never had a stick up my a$$ about schedules.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 07:27     Subject: How much would this bug you?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.


Why can’t MIL follow a very simple schedule?

Grandparents will do whatever tf they want. They think your routines, food choices and rules are ridiculous. Even your mom thinks that, op.


NP. That’s absolutely fine. They can be visitors, then, and not caregivers. It is 100% fine if they just want to visit and have fun, and not babysit. If they want to babysit, they will follow the rules.


Or, you could relax. My kids are older now and out of the house, but with the benefit of hindsight I will say that I was way too uptight as a young parent and grandparents generally know what they are doing.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 07:21     Subject: How much would this bug you?
Is this a troll post? If you were secretly recording the activities of the house without her knowing, you’ve got a lot of nerve to act like these little lies make *her* untrustworthy.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2023 07:18     Subject: How much would this bug you?
Anonymous wrote:But you weren’t honest about her being recorded either!


MIL wasn’t invited but rather inserted herself into a private home. People should realize that private homes now have security and monitors. If you don’t wish to be filmed, it’s on you to ask, it is not on the homeowners to tell. If you actively want to be on someone else’s turf, you are going to get what you get. Ask if you need to.