Anonymous wrote:As a female, i personally hate stuff like this. They were all intoxicated, including the female but the males should get charges pressed against them? I wish the men would say f this, let me press charges against the female. Who is to say it was not agreed upon if they were all intoxicated? Hard to prove, even with a tape of the sex act. But what should you do? Mind your own business… how do you know the adult daughter does not want her mother involved?

Anonymous wrote:This is not my child but the child of a friend. Majority of this happened last spring when she was a junior. Was sexually assaulted on campus at least three boys. It was filmed. Everyone involved was intoxicated. Girl decides not to press charges but video makes the rounds. Students push to suspend students seen assaulting girl but school doesn’t act on it. Boys face no repercussions.

Come this fall one of the boys is accused of raping two freshmen girl. Girls press charges. Case not going far and friends daughter (now 22) decides to press charges against all three boys. She submits video as proof and they are charged and university suspends them from athletics but not campus. Case ongoing.

Girl has received countless death threats and some unfair treatment from one professor. She had one term left but it’s so bad she’s debating leaving.

My friend seems heartbroken but hasn’t done much as far as helping her with legal process or pushing for her safety on campus.

I hope I’m never in this position but I feel like I’d reign hell upon the university and those boys from day 1. Even if my kid was an adult (my kids are still teens). Her hands off approach is bizarre to me.

Those with adult kids, how much would you intervene? This just feels like a lot for anyone to handle, especially a college student.

Anonymous wrote:I was sexually assaulted on campus. I did not tell my parents. And most of the acquaintances who found out were not supportive and accused me of making things unnecessarily difficult when I spoke up.

The one thing I tell all parents of college aged kids and will tell my DD in a few years: do NOT go through a campus adjudication process. Do not go through campus police. Go straight to the police for the city in which the college is.

I was discouraged by my dean- just short of the point of being threatened- from reporting my assault to the town police. I was repeatedly assured that it would be dealt with better through the university process.

I found out later that my assailant had assaulted 8+ women, and only me and one other woman went to the town police and pressed charges. The ones who reported it through the university process were offered mediation and other dumb options. It took 10 months for my case to go to court, and my assailant was free to live his life that entire time.

Infuriatingly, after I stayed a week into winter break for my court date, the prosecutor settled the day before I was to give my testimony in court and I never got to stand up to my assailant. But if I had not gone through an off-campus legal system, he would have never had any charges on his record and would have been free to return to the town and campus with impunity- after they settled, he left forever.

Do not seek justice within a university- they are on their own side, not yours.