Anonymous wrote:OP that sucks. I get that people need a recharge after work and want to have fun but I'd be sad if my husband didn't seem interested in just chilling with me. Does he at least spend some time with the kids? Not structured time like your 20 minutes of reading or brushing teeth, but just playing?

+1

I think much of DH's involvement depends on their own dad - DH's dad was minimally involved, and mostly checked out, so DH was mostly the same (as OP is describing).

2 days- pick up kids from things
2 days household admin and talk together
2 days sports or tv shows
Help kids w homework or schedule stuff.
All go to the ymca

After the kids go to bed and we finish any chores, we hang out in our open-concept main living area/kitchen. He is always sitting at the table on his laptop or on a living room chair playing guitar. I am usually on a recliner or the couch either reading, on my laptop, or watching a show. So, while we rarely do the same things, we hang out in the same space and we chat.

Get home 4:30-5pm. Dinner at 5:30. Baths every other night for the kids. We play games with the kids until 7pm. (Before it was dark we'd play outside or go on family walks) The baby goes to bed at 7pm and the older two get tutored (one is learning to read and the other works on math). At 7:30 I read to the older 2 for 30 min. Then bedtime. The oldest can read for 30 minutes until 8:30.

After they're all asleep dh and I do projects around the house, clean up dinner and usually watch a show. DH does play on his computer while we watch a show. We're happy with all of this. I would be upset if dh totally ignored me all night long. Is there an issue with the ducking going on?

Usually one of us is prepping dinner and one of us is driving to activities. By the time we have cleaned the kitchen driven the kid(s) home (teens) we manage 30-60 minutes of TV together, often folding laundry, before I go to bed early (by 10) because I am a teacher. He usually stays up until 11 or midnight.

We eat dinner with the kids. The kids (elementary school) clear the table and one of us cleans up from dinner and preps their lunches for tomorrow while the other herds them through bathing, pjs, making sure they have everything in their bag for the following day. We hang out together after they're in bed. - maybe in the kitchen talking about upcoming parties, guests, or travel or dinner dates with friends, etc., or we are on the couch reading/working, or we watch a show together. For the last two months we've been doing an arms workout together so three times a week we do that. Sometimes DH plays piano while I'm reading or working or going through mail.

This thread is interesting and helpful - our weeknights are a big slog right now. DD is in activities 3 nights a week and has church one night. Our younger DS has nothing for now. So we will eat dinner beforehand, as soon as the parent who was working out of the house that day is home (we are both hybrid and stagger so someone is home for bus/to make dinner). One parent will run her to whatever her thing is while the other plays with DS and then we put them to bed. We divide up who does the dishes based on who cooked, usually but honestly DH does more dishes than I do. Then we will either watch a show or go to bed - I am tired!

Anonymous wrote:No mentions of sex in here haha.

well, no relationship is perfect

It is crazy to me how much time people spend in the same house but completely apart, and how much time is spent catering to kids' interests/activities.

No mentions of sex in here haha.

DH picks up DD from daycare, armed with a hearty snack/dinner. When the weather’s nice they’ll hang out at the daycare playground with the other kids or head to a public playground. In winter they usually end up at an indoor playground. They get home around 7.30-8. Then it’s immediately time for bath and bed for the kid, we have our dinner and hang out for a bit and then sleep around 11.

I take kids to activities most nights after cooking dinner. I'll eat with 1 or both kids and then DW will eat when she gets home from work, most times on her own with kids in and around the kitchen. Sometimes I sit at the table, sometimes not. Then kind of all do our own thing, having a very difficult child with ADHD has really driven a wedge into the emotional fabric of our family and I'm completely exhausted, checked out and feeling very under appreciated. Not sure what the next 8-10 years hold quite honestly.

Late afternoon we go on a walk together, come home, read and take baths (separately), make dinner, watch tv or read on the couch next to each other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH spends most of his free time in the basement in front of the computer, and I'm wondering how common that is. We'll team up or divide and conquer when it comes to the kids or dinner, but otherwise, it's back down to the basement for him.

Sometimes, we watch a TV show or discuss something together upstairs, but he's in front of his computer both before and after.

In fact, I often text or instant message him when we're both home. I'm not trekking up and down the stairs every time to mention a small thing.

Same as you (3 kids 6 and under). Tag team from about 6-730 and then go our own ways

I have three kids (ES, MS, and HS) and it’s similar in our house - except we’re only putting one kid to bed.

Usually he eats dinner after I eat with my teens. Then one of us takes a kid to an activity. Afterwards he plays computer games or watches a show on his computer. I do stuff around the house. Once a week we will watch a show together.