Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 13:39     Subject: Re:Money, college and exILs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just figure out how to pay for it yourself.

Grandparents make all sorts of grandiose proclamations with younger children that they don’t mean. It’s all for show.

If your DC got in ED and you really can’t afford it, you can explain the situation to the school and they should let you out of the agreement. There’s no way to force the grandparents to help.


Can I pay for his college? Yes. Do I think it's fair that I am the only who is doing that and exDH is not contributing a dime, and now his parents are flaking? No, I think it sucks.


Shouldn’t you have considered that BEFORE signing the divorce papers?
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 13:32     Subject: Money, college and exILs
Anonymous wrote:
At this point you've got nothing to lose, OP, so straight-up remind them of their promise and ask for a contribution.

If they don't answer, you've got your answer.


Agree. You have nothing to lose so be direct.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 13:31     Subject: Money, college and exILs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:And where, pray tell, is their father in this conversation with HIS parents, about HIS children?


I think OP IS their father. Why do you assume otherwise?


Oh, never mind. I see that AFTER your post OP identified as a woman.

I just thought it was weird that PP jumped to that conclusion.


No, OP said exDH before PP posted.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 13:31     Subject: Re:Money, college and exILs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just figure out how to pay for it yourself.

Grandparents make all sorts of grandiose proclamations with younger children that they don’t mean. It’s all for show.

If your DC got in ED and you really can’t afford it, you can explain the situation to the school and they should let you out of the agreement. There’s no way to force the grandparents to help.


Can I pay for his college? Yes. Do I think it's fair that I am the only who is doing that and exDH is not contributing a dime, and now his parents are flaking? No, I think it sucks.


It does suck, but their non-answer is your answer: They aren't going to help.

Fill out the FAFSA and hope for the best.


I think this is what is going on with the in laws. It stinks but I think it's pretty clear that they won't be contributing.

Plow forward on FAFSA with what you have.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 13:31     Subject: Money, college and exILs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:And where, pray tell, is their father in this conversation with HIS parents, about HIS children?


I think OP IS their father. Why do you assume otherwise?


No PP you're responding to but OP has stated several times in this thread that the babydaddy lives across the country with five more children with another babymama.

And it's doubtful the grandparents will contribute in any meaningful way. Whether they're asked directly, shamed publicly, or even taken to court. It makes sense she's disappointed but pursuing this further is going to likely not be fruitful.


I certainly won't take them to court, I don't have time for that. But I am disappointed at their flakiness. What bothers me more is that they will boast how their grandson is going to this school and well...how about you contribute to his success a little?
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 13:26     Subject: Money, college and exILs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:And where, pray tell, is their father in this conversation with HIS parents, about HIS children?


I think OP IS their father. Why do you assume otherwise?


No PP you're responding to but OP has stated several times in this thread that the babydaddy lives across the country with five more children with another babymama.

And it's doubtful the grandparents will contribute in any meaningful way. Whether they're asked directly, shamed publicly, or even taken to court. It makes sense she's disappointed but pursuing this further is going to likely not be fruitful.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 13:23     Subject: Money, college and exILs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:And where, pray tell, is their father in this conversation with HIS parents, about HIS children?


I think OP IS their father. Why do you assume otherwise?


Oh, never mind. I see that AFTER your post OP identified as a woman.

I just thought it was weird that PP jumped to that conclusion.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 13:22     Subject: Money, college and exILs
Anonymous wrote:And where, pray tell, is their father in this conversation with HIS parents, about HIS children?


I think OP IS their father. Why do you assume otherwise?
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 13:19     Subject: Money, college and exILs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What's your ex doing about college?


Other than taking all the credit for himself? Nothing. Maybe he will send a $100 gift card. Again, the man now has 8 kids. 3 are ours and 5 from the new wife.


You sound a lot like the poster complaining about inviting the ex to the graduation.


No idea on another poster, but whenever I think about exDH I smile. Ok, sometimes I roll my eyes. Don't get me wrong, he is not a bad guy. I learned over the years to just chuckle and smile. He is not the most reliable person. Kids treat him as a HS buddy. If he comes to his graduation that'll be fine but I won't hold my breath.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 13:12     Subject: Money, college and exILs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What's your ex doing about college?


Other than taking all the credit for himself? Nothing. Maybe he will send a $100 gift card. Again, the man now has 8 kids. 3 are ours and 5 from the new wife.


You sound a lot like the poster complaining about inviting the ex to the graduation.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 13:11     Subject: Money, college and exILs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What exactly are you saying in all your calls and texts? Sounds like you already have your answer. You can't force them to pay up. Why would they be surprised he was accepted to college, does he have terrible grades?


No terrible grades, good GPA, sports, ECs. He put them on speaker when he called to tell them. They couldn't stop saying "oh Wow, oh Wow, you got IN?" with that question mark.



Well maybe they were impressed because all anyone here talks about is how hard it is to get in anywhere.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 13:05     Subject: Money, college and exILs
Scott's Tots.

I'm sorry, OP. Just assume you'll be paying it all yourself, and chalk it up to a life lesson for your kid about unreliable people.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 13:04     Subject: Re:Money, college and exILs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just figure out how to pay for it yourself.

Grandparents make all sorts of grandiose proclamations with younger children that they don’t mean. It’s all for show.

If your DC got in ED and you really can’t afford it, you can explain the situation to the school and they should let you out of the agreement. There’s no way to force the grandparents to help.


Can I pay for his college? Yes. Do I think it's fair that I am the only who is doing that and exDH is not contributing a dime, and now his parents are flaking? No, I think it sucks.


It does suck, but their non-answer is your answer: They aren't going to help.

Fill out the FAFSA and hope for the best.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 13:00     Subject: Money, college and exILs
Anonymous wrote:What's your ex doing about college?


Other than taking all the credit for himself? Nothing. Maybe he will send a $100 gift card. Again, the man now has 8 kids. 3 are ours and 5 from the new wife.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2023 12:59     Subject: Money, college and exILs
Anonymous wrote:What exactly are you saying in all your calls and texts? Sounds like you already have your answer. You can't force them to pay up. Why would they be surprised he was accepted to college, does he have terrible grades?


No terrible grades, good GPA, sports, ECs. He put them on speaker when he called to tell them. They couldn't stop saying "oh Wow, oh Wow, you got IN?" with that question mark.