Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 20:06     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
Anonymous wrote:We are a mid-30s couple with two little kids. I really love cooking, hosting, and being social, but we haven't really had friends over in the 6 years we've been here because I'm embarrassed how outdated our house is. All of our friends have bought newer builds or gut renovated their older house and I feel like they'll judge our's. We are clean and tidy, but our kitchen is original from the 60s (including the double oven) and our bathrooms are from the 80s. There's a few marks on the floors that are just permanent at this point even when the floor is freshly scrubbed by hand so I feel like it looks unkempt if you look closely.

Do you judge people for out of date homes?


What?! I'd love to go to a house with an original 60s kitchen! Especially one with a double oven! I'm super jealous that you have a double oven!
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 19:54     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
Ridiculous. They aren’t real friends if you think for a second they’ll care.

My friends regularly come over for my delicious Costco dinners and then lounge around on my cat hair covered ikea couches, and stay for hours.

My friend hosts a monthly women’s gathering in her TINY but eclectic 1930s brick ranch…slightly updated.

Get new friends.
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 19:52     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
Anonymous wrote:If your friends are judgmental, consider getting new friends. If you’re insecure about your clean and tidy home, consider the reasons why.


This!!!
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 19:44     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
Anonymous wrote:I’m someone who loves to decorate and renovate. I don’t judge you at all! I’d rather come to a fun, outdated house than a boring party at a mansion. Just keep it clean and decluttered and people don’t care. Most people are renovating for themselves, not to show off to friends.


This. We're on our third home now. We renovated the prior two. Bought a fixer upper in a great location. Right now we have really dated bathrooms and kitchen. Like really bad. But we're throwing a holiday party anyway and inviting a bunch of people in our new neighborhood/schools. We happen to be working with an architect for a major remodel and we're pretty well off, but we wouldn't want to be friends with anyone who would care if we're not.
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 18:46     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
It's all on you. I'll gladly go to a true friend's house regardless of how nice or not the house is. F any "friend" that judges you for it.
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 18:22     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
I actually find dated homes charming and comfy in a way that new builds or super fancy homes are not. Our house is old and somewhat outdated, and kind of small, and we've had some excellent parties. All you need is good entertainment (good music or a game on TV), plenty of food and drink, and a welcoming attitude. If it is a dinner party, you just need enough room to sit and eat.
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 16:58     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
I’m honestly quite bougie and judgmental and I can’t imagine myself or any of my snobby friends being snide about these even in passing.
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 16:52     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
Oh my gosh no, and if anyone does, those aren’t people you want to be friends with! I have a small and outdated house and always have a blast hosting. As long as you’re welcoming and warm, with good food, drinks, and music, go to town!
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 16:49     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
Add a little fresh air, some fresh flowers and candles to add a little something something!
Groovy baby~
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 16:43     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
At home entertaining is so rare now that it's really special. I make an effort to go to any home invite I get because it's so rare.

Of course people eyeball things, but truly nice people also know friendship is more important than money and stuff. Some people just have family money, better-paying jobs, bought their house at a good time, whatever. Our consumerist culture pushes us to "recognize the price of everything, and the value of nothing".

Invite people over and make good times and happy memories!
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 16:40     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
^wipe down
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 16:40     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
I would agree the only homes I’ve ever “judged” are ones that were either absolutely FILTHY (and I’m not talking “could use a wood down”. I mean ones where you walk in and say “grossss,”… and the bar is low!) or were soooo overcluttered they felt dirty. But as a general rule if someone is hosting, all I’m feeling is happy and excited! I think older / outdated homes can feel really cozy and comfortable tbh
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 16:06     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
No one cares (and if they do, they aren't worth your time)
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 15:54     Subject: Re:I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
I judge cleanliness. Is there a place for me to sit? Is your bathroom clean? Is your kitchen clean? I don't care if your kitchen has linoleum floors or your bathroom is that ugly pink that was so popular in the 80's. And also, why would you be friends with people who would look down on you for something like that? Are those really the qualities you want in friends?
Anonymous
Post 12/09/2023 15:45     Subject: I want my house to be a spot for friends, but self conscious how outdated it is
Anonymous wrote:No one cares even a little.

Hosting is about a clean space with good (dim) lighting, comfy seating and good food and drink.

If the floors are really, really worn replace them with linoleum. No biggie.


Nope—do not put in “linoleum.”