My expectations is that my parents will do zero estate planning and leave a massive financial mess for us to unwind and sort out. There won't be enough money left to punish or play favorites, so they'll just leave a disaster.

People want to leave their money to something they care about and they know will be used wisely. I think if you cut off your parents, you cut off all of them including their money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My narcissistic child who is one of the children estranged themselves from both patents because he was yelled at growing up and thinks that is horrendous abuse has addictions and can't stay in a relationship. Also major mental health issues genetically passed down that he's had his entire life. Their sibling is conscientious and has the ability to marry and have children. I plan on leaving the house and one retirement fund to the non narcissistic child and a retirement fund to the narcissistic one that will likely squander the money. They aren't getting the house. They have no need for it and I want to provide for grandchildren as well. I feel that is fair setting up my will unevenly to also give to my future grandchildren.

Maybe you haven't heard, but yelling IS abuse and very harmful to children: https://www.cnn.com/2023/10/02/health/shouting-child-abuse-intl-scli-wellness/index.html

So, you yelled at a child with major mental health issues that are genetic (not the child's fault), and that child now suffers from addictions and unsurprisingly can't maintain relationships? You're absolutely awful.

You want to live with people who do this stuff over a video game, be my guest.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFidsUBMoV0

And please leave any money you earned that you didn't spend to them as well.

Do you see how ridiculous this is? The person can't spend it with any ability of their own. They won't get help for themselves. It's not like I can give it to an institution to help them.

A truly narcissistic parent will play mind games with inheritance, yes OP. Thinking about hurting you, even from beyond the grave, makes them happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My narcissistic child who is one of the children estranged themselves from both patents because he was yelled at growing up and thinks that is horrendous abuse has addictions and can't stay in a relationship. Also major mental health issues genetically passed down that he's had his entire life. Their sibling is conscientious and has the ability to marry and have children. I plan on leaving the house and one retirement fund to the non narcissistic child and a retirement fund to the narcissistic one that will likely squander the money. They aren't getting the house. They have no need for it and I want to provide for grandchildren as well. I feel that is fair setting up my will unevenly to also give to my future grandchildren.

Maybe you haven't heard, but yelling IS abuse and very harmful to children: https://www.cnn.com/2023/10/02/health/shouting-child-abuse-intl-scli-wellness/index.html

So, you yelled at a child with major mental health issues that are genetic (not the child's fault), and that child now suffers from addictions and unsurprisingly can't maintain relationships? You're absolutely awful.

You want to live with people who do this stuff over a video game, be my guest.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFidsUBMoV0

Anonymous wrote:I am estranged from my mother and am totally fine knowing I will not be an heir. I assume she will give to her favorite charities. I’m just curious about others’ experiences. Did your narc parent viciously disinherit you by name and you heard this at the reading of the will, or were you simply omitted or were you surprised to inherit after all?

If they are bitter and spiteful, that parent would leave most of their money and/or desirable possessions to whomever most resembles their "good" image - see: splitting; or if they are especially spiteful and bitter, an outside entity.

The millions skipped a generation and went to the grandkids.

And don't even get me started on the thousands of dollars of therapy some of which was damaging. My disabled child cost me 4 times what my other child did and absolutely no recognition for it. Now they think they are superior than all of us because of all the time they spend learning facts that have no bearing on their life while they lie and cheat and throw fits and take addictive substances.

You give four times what you give to your children for mental health help right? Because that's the rate and the time involved.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My narcissistic child who is one of the children estranged themselves from both patents because he was yelled at growing up and thinks that is horrendous abuse has addictions and can't stay in a relationship. Also major mental health issues genetically passed down that he's had his entire life. Their sibling is conscientious and has the ability to marry and have children. I plan on leaving the house and one retirement fund to the non narcissistic child and a retirement fund to the narcissistic one that will likely squander the money. They aren't getting the house. They have no need for it and I want to provide for grandchildren as well. I feel that is fair setting up my will unevenly to also give to my future grandchildren.

Maybe you haven't heard, but yelling IS abuse and very harmful to children: https://www.cnn.com/2023/10/02/health/shouting-child-abuse-intl-scli-wellness/index.html

So, you yelled at a child with major mental health issues that are genetic (not the child's fault), and that child now suffers from addictions and unsurprisingly can't maintain relationships? You're absolutely awful.

Living with an addicted mentally ill child is no picnic. Feel free to adopt one of them since you are so much better at it. How many have you adopted that you take care of? Just because issues are genetic, doesn't mean that people taking care of them aren't human. We aren't saints and have our own issues and triggers. We all live with abuse because we are human. This idea that children should grow up without any trauma is madness. It's a fantasy. People are living through wars right now. We aren't computers. There are people being killed by their genetic offspring who have mental health issues. Our prisons are full of people like this. They are out of control and most adults in society cannot handle them. Nor are there many resources for kids like this or disability help for them as adults either. I can leave my house to a child who can actually maintain it and have children. I'm giving him half my money which he will just buy to satisfy his animal like urges which are never ending.

Anonymous wrote:My narcissistic child who is one of the children estranged themselves from both patents because he was yelled at growing up and thinks that is horrendous abuse has addictions and can't stay in a relationship. Also major mental health issues genetically passed down that he's had his entire life. Their sibling is conscientious and has the ability to marry and have children. I plan on leaving the house and one retirement fund to the non narcissistic child and a retirement fund to the narcissistic one that will likely squander the money. They aren't getting the house. They have no need for it and I want to provide for grandchildren as well. I feel that is fair setting up my will unevenly to also give to my future grandchildren.

Maybe you haven't heard, but yelling IS abuse and very harmful to children: https://www.cnn.com/2023/10/02/health/shouting-child-abuse-intl-scli-wellness/index.html

So, you yelled at a child with major mental health issues that are genetic (not the child's fault), and that child now suffers from addictions and unsurprisingly can't maintain relationships? You're absolutely awful.

There will likely not be any money for them to leave.

NMom spent it on ridiculous things to keep up appearances. NDad spent it on wife #3 and her children’s legal, emotional, and scholastic shenanigans.

It was freeing to realize this and start living my own life.

My narcissistic child who is one of the children estranged themselves from both patents because he was yelled at growing up and thinks that is horrendous abuse has addictions and can't stay in a relationship. Also major mental health issues genetically passed down that he's had his entire life. Their sibling is conscientious and has the ability to marry and have children. I plan on leaving the house and one retirement fund to the non narcissistic child and a retirement fund to the narcissistic one that will likely squander the money. They aren't getting the house. They have no need for it and I want to provide for grandchildren as well. I feel that is fair setting up my will unevenly to also give to my future grandchildren.

Leave most of it to a neighbor who was like a daughter to her.

Anonymous wrote:Wow you guys are just like your moms. Congrats!!

You have no idea what you are talking about.

Mine talks about her will and her lawyer a lot. I get the sense she makes an appointment to change things every time she happy or unhappy with me. But yeah, I think she’s leaving most of it to my kids and a good amount to her church. I haven’t done what she wanted- let her walk all over me and my husband and tell us how to run our lives- so I’m pretty sure I’m getting a couple dollars and a ten page lecture and how much she feels sorry for me for her jr ting her way.