Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having strong and healthy father figures in their lives to serve as role models.

What is a good and healthy father figure?

Someone who is intelligent, works hard, yet also is available to play sports and do intellectual activities with the kids but also is masculine and understands how to navigate the modern world in finances, dating, social dynamics as a networker in the community

LeBron James is a good example

“only men can raise boys into a man.” Hmmm. I disagree. There are many men out there who were raised by single mothers, including mine. He’s a good man because he’s a good person.

My cousin was raised by a man and he’s a d$&k. He even admits it.

Teach them to put the seat down.

I’m raising two boys and I believe only men can raise boys into a man. I can nurture and love, but it takes real guidance to turn that young boy into a man.

My boys are still quite young but we will teach them proper manners, respect, self-discipline, self-control, a strong work ethic, to be a provider, etc.

We will also be teaching them masculinity is nothing to be ashamed about. We will teach them how unkind this world is to men, but that they can do anything surrounded by the right people. We will teach them how to pick a good woman.

Sadly, men will only know unconditional love from their mothers. Most men only receive love based on condition of what they can provide.

There are many women who lack accountability and we will be teaching our sons how to choose wisely. The wrong woman will wreck your life.

Anonymous wrote:Most of the same basics as a girl.

Things that are specific to boys:

Toxic masculinity

Pervasive homophobia. The messaging to them is subtly all over the place really as early as K.

When they're older, how to interact with and treat with women. Consent. How to interact online. Huge topics. I have told my son you're not getting any grace in this world. Because men got away with so much BS for so long and still do in many ways, you will not be given the benefit of the doubt. If a girl says you did something, you're done. There is no room for mistakes for boys in this department (nor should there be).

There is no such thing as toxic masculinity.

Anonymous wrote:Age appropriately as they grow up, point out how gender norms and patriarchy play out, so they grow up being aware of it, and how it benefits them. "Did you notice how grandpa asked you to throw the ball but not your sister?" "Why do you think the school nurse always calls the mom first when a child is sick?" "What do you think of superheroes, celebrities, whatever, of all having six packs? Do many men you know actually have six packs?"

Shut up

Don't be hell-bent on the idea that the person you're raising will see themselves as a man like the kind you're picturing.

That's all I've got for ya.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the same basics as a girl.

Things that are specific to boys:

Toxic masculinity

Pervasive homophobia. The messaging to them is subtly all over the place really as early as K.

When they're older, how to interact with and treat with women. Consent. How to interact online. Huge topics. I have told my son you're not getting any grace in this world. Because men got away with so much BS for so long and still do in many ways, you will not be given the benefit of the doubt. If a girl says you did something, you're done. There is no room for mistakes for boys in this department (nor should there be).

You told this to your SON?! What kind of parent tells their child they should not be permitted to make mistakes. Horrible.

Did you read the post? When it comes to assaulting or harassing girls in any capacity there is no room for mistakes. It's reality. They will get canceled by their peers. And all the adults in charge will enthusiastically go along with it. Seen it happen. I also have daughters. I get it. People need to be aware the pendulum has swung fully the other way in many communities. Clearly not everywhere.

The stuff that went on for our generation that no one even talked about is now called out vigorously and reported and in the era of social media, word spreads like wild fire among peers.

So yep, told it to my son.

Anonymous wrote:Most of the same basics as a girl.

Things that are specific to boys:

Toxic masculinity

Pervasive homophobia. The messaging to them is subtly all over the place really as early as K.

When they're older, how to interact with and treat with women. Consent. How to interact online. Huge topics. I have told my son you're not getting any grace in this world. Because men got away with so much BS for so long and still do in many ways, you will not be given the benefit of the doubt. If a girl says you did something, you're done. There is no room for mistakes for boys in this department (nor should there be).

You told this to your SON?! What kind of parent tells their child they should not be permitted to make mistakes. Horrible.

Most of the same basics as a girl.

Things that are specific to boys:

Toxic masculinity

Pervasive homophobia. The messaging to them is subtly all over the place really as early as K.

When they're older, how to interact with and treat with women. Consent. How to interact online. Huge topics. I have told my son you're not getting any grace in this world. Because men got away with so much BS for so long and still do in many ways, you will not be given the benefit of the doubt. If a girl says you did something, you're done. There is no room for mistakes for boys in this department (nor should there be).

He should be raised as a strong feminist.

Anonymous wrote:Age appropriately as they grow up, point out how gender norms and patriarchy play out, so they grow up being aware of it, and how it benefits them. "Did you notice how grandpa asked you to throw the ball but not your sister?" "Why do you think the school nurse always calls the mom first when a child is sick?" "What do you think of superheroes, celebrities, whatever, of all having six packs? Do many men you know actually have six packs?"

Oh please! Get a life! This is barf!

Anonymous wrote:Age appropriately as they grow up, point out how gender norms and patriarchy play out, so they grow up being aware of it, and how it benefits them. "Did you notice how grandpa asked you to throw the ball but not your sister?" "Why do you think the school nurse always calls the mom first when a child is sick?" "What do you think of superheroes, celebrities, whatever, of all having six packs? Do many men you know actually have six packs?"

My daughters have six packs, so do I. We're proud of them! If I had a son, he'd have one too!

Anonymous wrote:He needs to know how to take charge in situations. He needs to not be a cry baby early. He should be good with guns, fishing rods, knives and engines. His hands should be greasy a lot and he should get dirty. A lot. He shouldn’t take shit from anyone, especially a girl. He should be alpha and when he gets older be feared and respected.

Yep, and never should he get the therapy he desperately needs. Therapy is for weak people.

Anonymous wrote:Same as I would raise a girl with a focus on becoming a good person. Be kind, thoughtful, hardworking, honest, helpful to others, a good communicator.

I think there is too much focus on everything that's "wrong" with boys as it is and I am not buying into that stuff.

+1
There isn't much difference in how you raise them. Gentle nudges away from the overwhelming toxic boy stuff - like when their friends say sexist things, help them respond appropriately. Or when you find them puffing their chest, gently point this out. Similar to a girl's whose friends talk about being fat when they aren't or overly focus on 'getting a boyfriend'.