My first job out of college I made more than my parents combined after they had worked for 30 years (first gen to go to college). We never took trips. I never had any attention (honestly my parents were probably just exhausted and had small visions of the world from growing up poor). I had no extra activities, no playdates, never got the "new toy" (still remember how everyone else eventually got a walkman and I never did). So I'm pretty focused on giving my kid a lot of exposure, a lot of opportunities, a lot of experiences. I'm deeply invested in her expansion, not necessarily "things" but experiences (trips, private school, activities, etc.).

Yes to joining the local swim club, sending my kid to interesting camps - kayaking, coding, drones, cooking, etc, trying out various sports, and paying for swim and ski lessons, tutoring as needed, etc.

Also yes to lots of travel and experiences - theater, sports games, skiing, variety of dining - though I enjoy and benefit from those things too.

No to tons of toys, things like unlimited robux, excessive designer clothes and shoes.

Or you could end up like us. My husband just lost his job in tech. We have a college junior. Fortunately, her expenses are funded by our 529 plans

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on your kids like all the other UMC/Rich people? My circle is mostly these types, myself included. We grew up in divorced and/or low income households often where our parents made less than 50k and we all now make 300-400k in our early 30’s. We all find it crazy how people think they need to pay for expensive tutoring, private schools, travel teams, etc when we had none of that and turned out fine. One of my friends just had a baby and said he doesn’t plan on saving for their college education.

Dumbdedumm. It’s so blue collar thinking to not value education.
Does he think his kids will just be lucky and land in fortunate circumstances like he did? 400k isn’t enough to trust fund his kid, so what’s his plan? Or is that too UMC for him to consider?

College is only like 50k per year or less in most cases. So you can just pay for it, like other expenses, without needing to "save" for it. I think it's crazy when I read about how "blue collar" it is not to save for it. It's not a big enough expense to require saving.

It's blue collar thinking to forego straightforward, tax preferred savings vehicles for expected expenses.

There's no federal tax deduction and generally no state tax deduction for people in the highest tax categories. The only advantage is tax free growth. And 529s don't tend to have great growth performance so there's opportunity cost, and the risk of overfunding. I don't think funding a 529 is as straightforward for people earning a lot of money. Took a lump sum and funded 529s from the standpoint of risk management-- what if we lose everything type scenario. But as a matter of financial management, it can make a lot of sense for families to just pay for college each year without saving.

Wrong on all points. This is something a dcum poor who thinks they sound financially sophisticated would post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on your kids like all the other UMC/Rich people? My circle is mostly these types, myself included. We grew up in divorced and/or low income households often where our parents made less than 50k and we all now make 300-400k in our early 30’s. We all find it crazy how people think they need to pay for expensive tutoring, private schools, travel teams, etc when we had none of that and turned out fine. One of my friends just had a baby and said he doesn’t plan on saving for their college education.

Dumbdedumm. It’s so blue collar thinking to not value education.
Does he think his kids will just be lucky and land in fortunate circumstances like he did? 400k isn’t enough to trust fund his kid, so what’s his plan? Or is that too UMC for him to consider?

College is only like 50k per year or less in most cases. So you can just pay for it, like other expenses, without needing to "save" for it. I think it's crazy when I read about how "blue collar" it is not to save for it. It's not a big enough expense to require saving.

It's blue collar thinking to forego straightforward, tax preferred savings vehicles for expected expenses.

There's no federal tax deduction and generally no state tax deduction for people in the highest tax categories. The only advantage is tax free growth. And 529s don't tend to have great growth performance so there's opportunity cost, and the risk of overfunding. I don't think funding a 529 is as straightforward for people earning a lot of money. Took a lump sum and funded 529s from the standpoint of risk management-- what if we lose everything type scenario. But as a matter of financial management, it can make a lot of sense for families to just pay for college each year without saving.

Pretty thrifty with the exception of private school (I went to bad public schools so this was important to me). Whether or not we fully fund college will depend on kid’s level of effort. It pains me to see kids wasting their parents money taking 6 years to finish college etc, so I think it’s healthy for kids to have some skin in the game. Perhaps we’ll partially fund and have dc take out a partial loan that we pay back if they do well. Not sure. Kid is young so it just depends on their behavior and motivation as college approaches.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on your kids like all the other UMC/Rich people? My circle is mostly these types, myself included. We grew up in divorced and/or low income households often where our parents made less than 50k and we all now make 300-400k in our early 30’s. We all find it crazy how people think they need to pay for expensive tutoring, private schools, travel teams, etc when we had none of that and turned out fine. One of my friends just had a baby and said he doesn’t plan on saving for their college education.

Dumbdedumm. It’s so blue collar thinking to not value education.
Does he think his kids will just be lucky and land in fortunate circumstances like he did? 400k isn’t enough to trust fund his kid, so what’s his plan? Or is that too UMC for him to consider?

College is only like 50k per year or less in most cases. So you can just pay for it, like other expenses, without needing to "save" for it. I think it's crazy when I read about how "blue collar" it is not to save for it. It's not a big enough expense to require saving.

It's blue collar thinking to forego straightforward, tax preferred savings vehicles for expected expenses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on your kids like all the other UMC/Rich people? My circle is mostly these types, myself included. We grew up in divorced and/or low income households often where our parents made less than 50k and we all now make 300-400k in our early 30’s. We all find it crazy how people think they need to pay for expensive tutoring, private schools, travel teams, etc when we had none of that and turned out fine. One of my friends just had a baby and said he doesn’t plan on saving for their college education.

Dumbdedumm. It’s so blue collar thinking to not value education.
Does he think his kids will just be lucky and land in fortunate circumstances like he did? 400k isn’t enough to trust fund his kid, so what’s his plan? Or is that too UMC for him to consider?

College is only like 50k per year or less in most cases. So you can just pay for it, like other expenses, without needing to "save" for it. I think it's crazy when I read about how "blue collar" it is not to save for it. It's not a big enough expense to require saving.

We don’t spend money conspicuously, and we live in a relatively modest home in a good school district. Drive modest cars. The kids have one sport and one music activity of their choice. We will pay for college and grad school, though not for a degree in basket weaving. And we certainly plan to help with down payments and weddings. We will also be leaving all our money to the kids, hopefully they’ll be old enough to handle it responsibly by then.

No, we have no interest in spoiling our children. We have very good public schools and we are very happy with our local swim club. We will spoil them by letting them graduate from college debt free.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t take the”I had it hard so they will too” approach at all. I love it that they don’t have to worry about school trip costs, going to sports camp with their friends, and later on college.

On the other hand we live far below our means in general-haven’t upgraded house, drive Toyotas, no fancy clothes/bags/jewelry.

+1

I understand "not making them spoiled materialistic brats". But why not help them with tutors if needed, school trips/activites, and eventually college. They can still be financially award kids and grow into independent, financially sound adults, even if they have "things" growing up.

Anonymous wrote:I became UMC on my own, but I purposefully don't raise my kids only among other UMC families. We live in a socioeconomically diverse neighborhood and kids go to public schools. The kids realize we are wealthier than most, though, and we struggle to explain to them why we don't spend more on them. We will fully fund college and help with the important stuff in the future.

+1 but sadly there are still more than enough brand conscious/showy kids at school. More than I expected.

I don’t take the”I had it hard so they will too” approach at all. I love it that they don’t have to worry about school trip costs, going to sports camp with their friends, and later on college.

On the other hand we live far below our means in general-haven’t upgraded house, drive Toyotas, no fancy clothes/bags/jewelry.

I went to state schools because it was cheap/free. I would have loved to have gone to a better school. I want my children to have options for higher education that are not limited by money. The first thing we did when we had our first child is open a 529.

I thought about this more and think this OP is rather short sighted and delusional about opportunity in the 21st c US. I’m happy to spend money on kids and give every opportunity possible to to increase chances of a fulfilling life