Anonymous
12/06/2023 09:49
Subject: Am I overreacting to in-law’s request re holiday travel?
OP, I'm glad your H shut it down on the spot.
Yes I'd find her request selfish, but stop giving it too much mental energy after the initial reaction. I think deep down you know what kind of person she is. You have DH on your side, that's all that matters. There's no need to confront or address this anymore and when you see her again, keep it polite and light.
Polite and distant is how I'd treat her going forward.
Yes I'd find her request selfish, but stop giving it too much mental energy after the initial reaction. I think deep down you know what kind of person she is. You have DH on your side, that's all that matters. There's no need to confront or address this anymore and when you see her again, keep it polite and light.
Polite and distant is how I'd treat her going forward.
Anonymous
12/06/2023 09:49
Subject: Am I overreacting to in-law’s request re holiday travel?
You are not overreacting, your MIL is totally out of line. The good things: 1) your husband stuck up for your family immediately and told your MIL to shove it, and 2) MIL and FIL are not visiting for Christmas
Anonymous
12/06/2023 09:47
Subject: Am I overreacting to in-law’s request re holiday travel?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Did she suggest that your husband and child spend Christmas away from you? Or did she just suggest they still visit without out (but not necessarily for Christmas)?
If it's the former, I would be annoyed too. Maybe a compromise would be for your husband and child to visit another time over winter break without you, while still spending Christmas home with you.
Have husband and son leave the day after christmas to visit in laws. You get a few days by yourself in your own home. Bliss. Once you have two kids, you will thank me for this idea.
OP is in pain and scared and at risk. I can’t imagine her husband would want to leave her.
It's a few days? She can relax in bed, order food from uber eats, and chat with said husband on facetime the entire time if she wants. With modern transportation he could likely be back home within 5-6 hours at most if a true emergency came up.
I want you to understand there is more than one poster here telling you that you are ridiculous.
Anonymous
12/06/2023 09:47
Subject: Am I overreacting to in-law’s request re holiday travel?
How far away is out of town? Like a plane ride away, he shouldn’t go at all.
A 3 hour car trip and he could go either before or after Christmas Day to see all the relatives.
You can have a break from parenting for a couple of days and relax and rest.
A 3 hour car trip and he could go either before or after Christmas Day to see all the relatives.
You can have a break from parenting for a couple of days and relax and rest.
Anonymous
12/06/2023 09:46
Subject: Am I overreacting to in-law’s request re holiday travel?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Did she suggest that your husband and child spend Christmas away from you? Or did she just suggest they still visit without out (but not necessarily for Christmas)?
If it's the former, I would be annoyed too. Maybe a compromise would be for your husband and child to visit another time over winter break without you, while still spending Christmas home with you.
Christmas. Other siblings are coming to them and she wants husband there at the same time. Which I get, and I also really wanted our kid to have time with all of her cousins, but then this happened.
I’m at risk of preterm labor so I don’t really want my husband out of town right now, but we did invite them to visit at some point in the near future and they haven’t gotten back to us on that.
She still wants him to travel, knowing this? Hell, no.
She sounds like my MIL. Don't let this get to you. Shake your head at the sheer stupidity and leave itat that. Your husband said no. She will have to accept that.
Anonymous
12/06/2023 09:45
Subject: Am I overreacting to in-law’s request re holiday travel?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Did she suggest that your husband and child spend Christmas away from you? Or did she just suggest they still visit without out (but not necessarily for Christmas)?
If it's the former, I would be annoyed too. Maybe a compromise would be for your husband and child to visit another time over winter break without you, while still spending Christmas home with you.
Have husband and son leave the day after christmas to visit in laws. You get a few days by yourself in your own home. Bliss. Once you have two kids, you will thank me for this idea.
OP is in pain and scared and at risk. I can’t imagine her husband would want to leave her.
It's a few days? She can relax in bed, order food from uber eats, and chat with said husband on facetime the entire time if she wants. With modern transportation he could likely be back home within 5-6 hours at most if a true emergency came up.
What a load of crap. Not a single solitary person I know would agree to this. No one. I can't believe you're actually married or have young children to understand this. We do know you like to act like you are too cool for school and pregnancy complications are nothing.
Anonymous
12/06/2023 09:42
Subject: Am I overreacting to in-law’s request re holiday travel?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wow , yes, that was very selfish and not empathetic at all. I can’t imagine asking my son to leave his wife alone at Christmas ever, much less when she’s going through something like this! That being said, I think, never wanting to speak to her again, is a slight overreaction, although I wouldn’t be opposed to sending some poop in the mail to her.
you and OP sound like you are about 12 years old. No contact? Poop in the mail? GTFO. Grow up. Life does not revolve around either of you!!!
You step off. I'd be mad as holy heck too and it would permanently change the way I think about MIL. What kind of b suggests a husband leave his wife when she is having pregnancy complications and even worse during the holidays? She's a selfish b who made clear what she thinks of her dil. It sounds like she isn't even concerned about the issues op is dealing with.
Anonymous
12/06/2023 09:39
Subject: Am I overreacting to in-law’s request re holiday travel?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Did she suggest that your husband and child spend Christmas away from you? Or did she just suggest they still visit without out (but not necessarily for Christmas)?
If it's the former, I would be annoyed too. Maybe a compromise would be for your husband and child to visit another time over winter break without you, while still spending Christmas home with you.
Have husband and son leave the day after christmas to visit in laws. You get a few days by yourself in your own home. Bliss. Once you have two kids, you will thank me for this idea.
Hell to the NO! You have very few holidays with your kids and no one is leaving anyone in my family home alone over the break. It wouldn't be bliss for a lot of us. Dcumers constantly make this suggestion and I say no way in hell to it.
Anonymous
12/06/2023 09:31
Subject: Re:Am I overreacting to in-law’s request re holiday travel?
My MIL pestered my husband to visit while I was pregnant too. Luckily, he didn’t travel after I hit 24 weeks just in case I went into labor early since I was old and had a history of complications. Glad your husband shut down the idea.
Anonymous
12/06/2023 09:31
Subject: Am I overreacting to in-law’s request re holiday travel?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Did she suggest that your husband and child spend Christmas away from you? Or did she just suggest they still visit without out (but not necessarily for Christmas)?
If it's the former, I would be annoyed too. Maybe a compromise would be for your husband and child to visit another time over winter break without you, while still spending Christmas home with you.
Have husband and son leave the day after christmas to visit in laws. You get a few days by yourself in your own home. Bliss. Once you have two kids, you will thank me for this idea.
OP is in pain and scared and at risk. I can’t imagine her husband would want to leave her.
It's a few days? She can relax in bed, order food from uber eats, and chat with said husband on facetime the entire time if she wants. With modern transportation he could likely be back home within 5-6 hours at most if a true emergency came up.
You're ridiculous. No, this is not reasonable. And an "emergency" could also be over in the span of way less than 5 hours.
Anonymous
12/06/2023 09:30
Subject: Am I overreacting to in-law’s request re holiday travel?
Anonymous wrote:Yeah you’re overreacting.
You’re not wrong to REACT. You’re not wrong. But the “never speak to her again” level is way too much. Understandably! She’s being very insensitive. But people do dumb things and fully block out what it’s like to be pregnant and scared. Maybe she even convinced herself you’d appreciate the solo rest time.
She was wrong, your DH said no, it’s fine. Try to just put your reaction on hold for a year and see how you feel. You have your whole life to sever this relationship if you still feel this way. But try to just let it go for now. You don’t need to ruminate on it.
She's really not, imo. The MIL actually suggested her son LEAVE HIS PREGNANT WIFE, who is in pain and having complications, to be with her. That's $%@# absurd.
Would I go no contact? No. But I would def not think of her the same. Ever.
Anonymous
12/06/2023 09:28
Subject: Am I overreacting to in-law’s request re holiday travel?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Did she suggest that your husband and child spend Christmas away from you? Or did she just suggest they still visit without out (but not necessarily for Christmas)?
If it's the former, I would be annoyed too. Maybe a compromise would be for your husband and child to visit another time over winter break without you, while still spending Christmas home with you.
Christmas. Other siblings are coming to them and she wants husband there at the same time. Which I get, and I also really wanted our kid to have time with all of her cousins, but then this happened.
I’m at risk of preterm labor so I don’t really want my husband out of town right now, but we did invite them to visit at some point in the near future and they haven’t gotten back to us on that.
Did MIL know about your wishes re the cousins? I wonder if MIL wasn’t just telling her son that he and the kids are still welcome to swing by if that’s what he wants to do, knowing cousin time was important to YOU, and not about him leaving you for Christmas Day. I’d let this go especially since you weren’t there to judge the tone of the conversation at the time.
OP. I hadn’t verbalized those wishes, but this is a fair point regarding tone that I will try to remember. She tends to push on boundaries so past history is probably influencing my read of this, maybe unfairly.
Anonymous
12/06/2023 09:25
Subject: Am I overreacting to in-law’s request re holiday travel?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Did she suggest that your husband and child spend Christmas away from you? Or did she just suggest they still visit without out (but not necessarily for Christmas)?
If it's the former, I would be annoyed too. Maybe a compromise would be for your husband and child to visit another time over winter break without you, while still spending Christmas home with you.
Have husband and son leave the day after christmas to visit in laws. You get a few days by yourself in your own home. Bliss. Once you have two kids, you will thank me for this idea.
OP is in pain and scared and at risk. I can’t imagine her husband would want to leave her.
It's a few days? She can relax in bed, order food from uber eats, and chat with said husband on facetime the entire time if she wants. With modern transportation he could likely be back home within 5-6 hours at most if a true emergency came up.
Like a traumatic miscarriage? A friend had one, hemorrhaged so much she passed out. Could have bled to death if her DH hadn't found her quickly. ILs should get off their @sses and come visit go and btw maybe offer to lighten her load a bit while doing so?
Anonymous
12/06/2023 09:21
Subject: Am I overreacting to in-law’s request re holiday travel?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Did she suggest that your husband and child spend Christmas away from you? Or did she just suggest they still visit without out (but not necessarily for Christmas)?
If it's the former, I would be annoyed too. Maybe a compromise would be for your husband and child to visit another time over winter break without you, while still spending Christmas home with you.
Christmas. Other siblings are coming to them and she wants husband there at the same time. Which I get, and I also really wanted our kid to have time with all of her cousins, but then this happened.
I’m at risk of preterm labor so I don’t really want my husband out of town right now, but we did invite them to visit at some point in the near future and they haven’t gotten back to us on that.
Did MIL know about your wishes re the cousins? I wonder if MIL wasn’t just telling her son that he and the kids are still welcome to swing by if that’s what he wants to do, knowing cousin time was important to YOU, and not about him leaving you for Christmas Day. I’d let this go especially since you weren’t there to judge the tone of the conversation at the time.
Anonymous
12/06/2023 09:11
Subject: Am I overreacting to in-law’s request re holiday travel?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Did she suggest that your husband and child spend Christmas away from you? Or did she just suggest they still visit without out (but not necessarily for Christmas)?
If it's the former, I would be annoyed too. Maybe a compromise would be for your husband and child to visit another time over winter break without you, while still spending Christmas home with you.
Have husband and son leave the day after christmas to visit in laws. You get a few days by yourself in your own home. Bliss. Once you have two kids, you will thank me for this idea.
OP is in pain and scared and at risk. I can’t imagine her husband would want to leave her.
It's a few days? She can relax in bed, order food from uber eats, and chat with said husband on facetime the entire time if she wants. With modern transportation he could likely be back home within 5-6 hours at most if a true emergency came up.