Please stop expecting or hoping that they'll magically turn into the parents you want and need. No amount of discussion will change them. They will most likely treat your child the same way they treat you.

Decide if you want these people around your child and DH. Not the people you'd like them to be, but the people they are.

Decide with DH what, if any, relationship you want with them and then proceed that way. Therapy can help with this.

Best wishes, OP. This stuff isn't easy and good for you for working on it. ❤️‍🩹🫂

PS I say the above as the adult child of a crazy mother. I didn’t really understand the implications of my childhood or how poor my boundaries were until I started therapy. Wish I had done it sooner. There is a woman that I highly recommend in Bethesda. If you post a burner email I’ll send you her info. She’s expensive but really great.

Please go to therapy as it will help you understand who you are and how to set and hold boundaries. Also, there are things that you will want to change from what you experienced as a child. A good therapist is needed!

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like they’re bad but so are you.

NP. Where are you getting this?

I am so sorry OP. IME it is hard to not have the entendres family you want for your kids. Sadly you can’t change them or make them into the extended family you want. Grieve as long as you need but create your best life with friends and the supportive relatives you have. Hugs to you.

Anonymous wrote:You are just like your parents. Many kids who are exposed to abusive emotional patterns develop the same patterns. Find CBT to help you prior to becoming a high-needs parent(emotionally immature) to your child!

I don't see this at all. Way to victim blame!