We decorated the house last year in lieu of getting a tree. Trees are not expensive. If you are going to get a tree, eye something smaller - saving $15 on the tree allows you $15 some where else.
Look at total cost of the holidays as opposed to just gifts.
Meals, teacher gifts, cards (and postage) etc.
We do breakfast for dinner - homemade pizza etc as ways to cut down on food budget.

A double patch of pancakes from scratch is a fraction of the cost of ordering a pizza.

Go to church for Xmas music, decorate warmly. Candles inside. Create a cozy festive environment. Do spend money on a tree, decorate it together. Give them money to buy gifts for each other, or encourage them to make gifts. Lots of games, my kids loved family games when they were in elementary school.

Anonymous wrote:If they can handle it and understand the boundary, each kid gets one call out day from school to go to the movies and lunch with mom and dad. Plan it in advance, make it adjacent to a long weekend anyway. Only if they can understand not to talk about it too too much outside of the family.

I would not endorse this.

You are framing lying/breaking rules/sneaking out as a fun treat. Why model that? Especially for a middle schooler.

You teach your children something everyday people. Pay attention to that, because they are.

Many churches/community organizations (and perhaps the post office) will give families on a tight budget toys.

What about the marines “toys for tots” program.

Maybe head to a library and ask a librarian to help you research options.

Anonymous wrote:Also, do a lot of Christmas crafts and activities on and before Christmas.

Bake and decorate Christmas cookies, string popcorn garlands, play Christmas music, make pancakes for breakfast, go for a hike, make peanut and seed covered pinecones to hang on trees for birds, get matching PJs and take cute pictures, watch Christmas movies. Make your kids set table for Christmas dinner, pray together, write letters to baby Jesus etc. Dollar store gifts like sidewalk chalk etc are great.

What a wise post!

These are the kinds of things kids remember for years.

Not some plastic toy that breaks or they quickly grow out of.

It will also help the parents get some holiday spirit!

👍

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are a ton of free activities and you can drive around looking at lights. You can bake together and make new decorations. Have family movie nights to watch holiday movies. Have a special breakfast and nice dinner on Christmas. These things will make the season special. As for gifts, make a budget and stick to it. Be guided by what your kids want - if it’s a bunch of small things do that and if it’s a large gift do that.

Matching pjs are not cheap and not good present bang for the buck but o agree otherwise with the sentiment of doing fun family activities.

Agree, skip the matching PJs this year

Anonymous wrote:There are a ton of free activities and you can drive around looking at lights. You can bake together and make new decorations. Have family movie nights to watch holiday movies. Have a special breakfast and nice dinner on Christmas. These things will make the season special. As for gifts, make a budget and stick to it. Be guided by what your kids want - if it’s a bunch of small things do that and if it’s a large gift do that.

Matching pjs are not cheap and not good present bang for the buck but o agree otherwise with the sentiment of doing fun family activities.

See what you can get for cheap on offer up or Craigslist.
Used, but good condition.

Whatever you decide to do it's a good thing to include children in knowing that there will not always be unlimited funds to buy stuff. Help them learn now how to not overextend themselves and end up drowning in credit card debt. Also include them in trying to rectify your current debt situation. Make it a family project. You can do all of this and still get them a few things they want and will like. Maybe focus a lot on what they can give to others as well. Like make a lot of cookies and decorate them as a family and then give them to others. One Christmas I had my young kids decorate boxes of Kleenex for relatives like grandparents. This kind of Christmas balance is a good thing to model for kids.

Give the kids the same amount of kids, but you can spend a little less on the younger two.

I remember one year receiving toothpaste and a toothbrush for Christmas. I have no negative emotions attached to this. We were proud to live within our means and I have tons of happy memories playing with my siblings and doing other free Christmas activities.

Anonymous wrote:I’d work on getting some gifts for Buy Nothing — we use this all the time for toys. Also, if kids are into books, start scouting Free Little Libraries.

*from Buy Nothing

I’d work on getting some gifts for Buy Nothing — we use this all the time for toys. Also, if kids are into books, start scouting Free Little Libraries.

I would do one gift they really want - a hoodie, a video game, slides, a toy, whatever it is. And then lots of fun inexpensive gifts. But not junk they won’t use/enjoy. Inexpensive things they’ll like. If you put time and creativity toward it, you can make up for the smaller budget. Wrap everything nicely. It can indeed be festive and special. Play games. Make yummy cinnamon rolls.

If they can handle it and understand the boundary, each kid gets one call out day from school to go to the movies and lunch with mom and dad. Plan it in advance, make it adjacent to a long weekend anyway. Only if they can understand not to talk about it too too much outside of the family.