Babysitter is weird

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine choosing to leave my young children with someone I’d never met so I could go out to dinner.

+2

You left 3 kids under 3 with neither you nor the kids have interacted or met??

Did you really expect none of the kids not to cry or get upset?

+3. Or you didn’t care if they were upset and figured it was the sitter’s problem. Your kids are YOUNG. Clearly however much you were paying the sitter, dealing with 3 crying kids under 4 wasn’t worth it to her.

Anonymous wrote:You should have paid her for her time. I don't think its unreasonable if they would not settle.

NP—
But they likely wouldn’t settle bc mom stayed and stayed and stayed.

Mom and dad should have left (but then just driven down the block to wait out the fifteen minutes to see if they would settle without mom and dad there.
OP didn’t need to go straight to the restaurant. What would have been the harm in just disappearing (but not for the duration) to see what would happen.
I feel bad for OP and for babysitter but both were so focused on the extremes (leave and go to dinner OR call off the whole date night) when it’s not really that hard to figure out an Option C.

Considering that your kids aren’t used to random sitters, you should do a trial run like the DP mentioned. My 2 year old has trouble going to bed even when her beloved nanny is watching her for a date night. It’s just too outside the norm. I’ve hired daytime sitters, and would now feel comfortable hiring them to put her to bed if necessary, although I would expect DD to be somewhat upset.

Anonymous wrote:I can’t imagine choosing to leave my young children with someone I’d never met so I could go out to dinner.

+2

You left 3 kids under 3 with neither you nor the kids have interacted or met??

Did you really expect none of the kids not to cry or get upset?

Weird policy - babysitting little kids involves crying. Next time leave faster though - long drawn out goodbyes tend to upset most kids more than a quick factual one.

Omg, how do you manage? I'm guessing she made a run for it.

You wanted to leave 3 crying kids 3 and under with a stranger? I would not have been comfortable with that as a sitter or as a parent. I think with that many kids close together, you need to stick to grandparents. We didn’t do very many date nights when our kids were that tiny. Our oldest was totally fine with strangers but our second took a while to warm up to people, so we always had new sitters come for an hour or two while I stayed at home before we left them.

I have three kids with similar age gaps. At those ages, if my husband and I wanted to go out, we needed both a nanny/babysitter and a grandparent. Or you leave after they are asleep. I am sorry it didn’t work out, OP. Now you know. Ps now that they are older, our nanny of many years can handle all three of them but it’s still tough at bedtime.

You either leave sleeping kids or dash out real quick, no drawn out goodbyes. Kids were probably crying inconsolably by the time the babysitter mentioned the “policy”. How comfortable would you be having to watch 3 screaming children you don’t really know.

I can’t imagine choosing to leave my young children with someone I’d never met so I could go out to dinner.

Sounds like these kids are nightmares and she decided the $$ wasnt worth it

I don’t think you have the luxury of dropping three young kids off with a rando sitter. Stick to the parents or find someone your kids know.

I’ve never heard of this policy. It looks like she just didn’t want to be bothered.

If this is her policy, she should have informed you at booking, especially given the ages. With those ages, and her knowing it was a first time, she should have said to you, "If you book me, there's a 70% chance one of you will have to stay home anyway." Then you could've made a decision accordingly.

I think it's an absurd policy. If you are an adult undertaking to watch toddlers, then upset children is within the expected realm of things you should be able to handle. Crying, pooping, squabbling, running around, climbing on things, these are all normal things that toddlers do and part of the job.