My sibling is like this but has diagnosed borderline personality disorder and has been hospitalized for other mental health struggles. She perceives love as a finite thing and that if one person gets more visible love, she is being rejected. If she senses that “her” share of attention is being diverted to someone else, or that others are getting attention even for something bad, she will act out to pull the attention back to her. She also creates situation of intentionally pulling away in the hopes that people will rally around her and worry about her. And that’s when she’s mentally healthy.

We have blocked her and don’t talk to her, because when she’s not healthy, she lashes out with obscenities and threats of violence and other stuff. Focus on your other siblings.

Why do you interpret being blocked as an insult? It says nothing about the person who is being blocked at all.

Why be so personally invested in what people you don't get along with do or think of you?

"Oh my God! The person I don't like and never want to talk to again blocked me before I could block her!!!"

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Are you upset because now you cannot communicate with her, because she blocked you; or is it because being blocked is supposed to be taken as an insult?

Being blocked is so trivial. You can block and un block on a whim. It doesn't really actually do anything to you except it prevents you from communicating with her when she prefers you don't.

Why do you feel you should be able to communicate with someone against their will, and why would you want to?

Of course blocking someone is a form of an insult. Don’t gaslight OP. How she handles it is one thing, but no it’s not as mature as telling someone directly and calmly that you would like to take a break from communicating.

I don't understand. Are you upset because now you cannot communicate with her, because she blocked you; or is it because being blocked is supposed to be taken as an insult?

Being blocked is so trivial. You can block and un block on a whim. It doesn't really actually do anything to you except it prevents you from communicating with her when she prefers you don't.

Why do you feel you should be able to communicate with someone against their will, and why would you want to?

Ignore, and focus on helping the sibling who is going through cancer. You have enough on your plate than to get dragged down into drama.

If she blocked you, how were you able to read her message? Block her and don't look back.

I blocked my only sister (we have a brother) after she left numerous voicemails blaming, trashing, and threatening me.

I have a tumultuous relationship with my sister too, we were also raised in a toxic environment. It took nearing forty and talking it over with an observant therapist until I learned about something called borderline personality disorder. Doesn’t get discussed like narcissism but folks who have it can really go off the walls and encompass you with drama. Sometimes just understanding the situation makes it less painful.

I agree with others that getting the silent treatment is a blessing in disguise. After the shock wears off just enjoy that you’re not on the receiving end of it anymore.

Throw in a lying narcissist mother and some drug addicts and this sounds like my family.
OP: RUN. This type of crazy family behavior will cost you your physical and mental well being.

Ignore it. Dysfunctional and manipulative people want to get a reaction from you. When you respond—whether from a place of hurt and confusion or from curiosity—it reinforces for the drama maker that she got your attention/got under your skin. Just gray rock this situation.

Enjoy it! My happiest years were those when my mother was using three silent treatment. Loved those years.

Anonymous wrote:Just let this go. You don’t have to block her back. Be happy for every day you don’t hear from her. If she ever reaches out, you can decide what to do.

Agreed.

I have a second cousin who did this to me via a text chain. She first texted that she wants to be no contact.

I have respected her firm boundary and have not reached out. We are no longer speaking by her choice. This happened in 2021.

Oddly, she texted my teenage son a hi a few weeks ago. He said hi back. That’s all that anyone in my family has heard from her. I told my kid to be careful. I don’t know what her intentions are.

Anonymous wrote:PS Is it possible your sister was drunk? That kind of behavior sounds like an abused substance was the trigger.

I doubt she was drunk. She is emotionally immature and lacks empathy. For reference, she referred to my sibling's spouse's cancer situation as a "sob story".

My inlaws are like this and my family has gotten this was as the craziest member loses her filter with age. I will tell you "You are dead to me" is a gift. We kept trying to have calm relationship with MIL and set boundaries and the boundaries enraged her so she declared us dead. OMG was it peaceful. A year or 2 later, she decided we were alive again and we didn't want her waking the dead. Now my elderly abusive mother pulls this and every time she "punishes" me with my death for the first few weeks I feel off balance processing all the insults that came with it. Then, there is just glorious peace. I sleep better. I am a better parent and spouse. I would feel guilty becoming totally estranged, but it's such a welcome break when she cuts me off for a while.

Anonymous wrote:Are you guys Italian by chance? I married into a family like this. MIL once said this to DH. You are dead to me. I was horrified. He said this was normal. So if that’s your family, then continue how you have, but after that, I took MiL at her word and kept her at arm’s length.

I’m canadian and my brother told me I was dead to him. I said lol you’ve been dead to me for years. Sorry, it’s not just Italians.

Haven’t spoken to my brother since 2019 and don’t plan to ever again!