Anonymous
11/16/2023 12:05
Subject: Adult kids with mental health issue; Cannot find job and progress
I’m still sympathetic to OP. All you critics have no idea how little medical support the mentally ill get. It’s horrifying. Story after story in the news of criminal acts by the mentally ill neglect the multiple calls and requests for help made by family members. It’s a human disaster.
Disabled children are coddled with Medicaid benefits galore. Then you can sign up for government waivers to cover a lifetime of services. You do know serious mental illness patients get streets and prison cells? I have kids with both developmental disabilities and SMI and the SMI gets many fewer resources.
Disabled children are coddled with Medicaid benefits galore. Then you can sign up for government waivers to cover a lifetime of services. You do know serious mental illness patients get streets and prison cells? I have kids with both developmental disabilities and SMI and the SMI gets many fewer resources.
Anonymous
11/16/2023 10:01
Subject: Adult kids with mental health issue; Cannot find job and progress
OP, you lead with the stats run down of your adult child. But who is your child if you cannot tell us how they are gifted, or tell us their GPA, or their degrees, or their awards?
How would you describe your kid in a positive way minus all of that? Can you begin to approach your kid in that way instead? After years spent chasing achievement, sometimes young adults wake up and think "who am I?" They never got to figure it out along the way while stat chasing.
How would you describe your kid in a positive way minus all of that? Can you begin to approach your kid in that way instead? After years spent chasing achievement, sometimes young adults wake up and think "who am I?" They never got to figure it out along the way while stat chasing.
Anonymous
11/16/2023 09:56
Subject: Adult kids with mental health issue; Cannot find job and progress
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Dear kind DCUMers, had a few extremely busy work days and reading your responses now.
Yes, PBJ is probation before judgement. DC will not lie to hide his criminal record. They are open to any job they can find. They are not open to higher studies at this time. Even though DC was academically a superstar up until few years ago, their mental health challenges has resulted with significant self confidence damage. They are also facing lingering major depression. So, any job is better than staying at home. It’s just that they are having tough times to find job. I wish we had better support system in the country for capable , ethical people who are facing significant mental health issues. I am also mad with the legal system where a conviction originating from mental health challenges is recorded and treated same way as a conviction resulting from criminal actions performed with full faculty intact!
Just stop. stop blaming the system. Yes, you have a significant problem Yes, you should seek out a lawyer's advice about expunging this (Yes, I am a lawyer but not that type). Deal with the problem. Don't go liberal "mental health" stuff on anyone. WE ALL HAVE ISSUES and problems. You defeat your own position once you blame "the system" and i say that as a parent of two SN kids who have significant disabilities.
+1000.I was supportive of OP and had replied upthread, but now I’ll annoyed at OP. If you think it’s all out of your hands OP, that’s defeatist, your teaching your child that, and that is how it will play out. OR you can start taking some positive steps, take the advice given to you here, and start moving your child in a positive direction. Stop Moping. Start Doing
Anonymous
11/16/2023 09:03
Subject: Adult kids with mental health issue; Cannot find job and progress
Anonymous wrote:Dear kind DCUMers, had a few extremely busy work days and reading your responses now.
Yes, PBJ is probation before judgement. DC will not lie to hide his criminal record. They are open to any job they can find. They are not open to higher studies at this time. Even though DC was academically a superstar up until few years ago, their mental health challenges has resulted with significant self confidence damage. They are also facing lingering major depression. So, any job is better than staying at home. It’s just that they are having tough times to find job. I wish we had better support system in the country for capable , ethical people who are facing significant mental health issues. I am also mad with the legal system where a conviction originating from mental health challenges is recorded and treated same way as a conviction resulting from criminal actions performed with full faculty intact!
Honestly- what do you expect? Every Tom, Dick, or Sally who commits robbery, assault, murder could say they did not have their full faculties intact at that time.
Anonymous
11/15/2023 23:18
Subject: Adult kids with mental health issue; Cannot find job and progress
Anonymous wrote:Dear kind DCUMers, had a few extremely busy work days and reading your responses now.
Yes, PBJ is probation before judgement. DC will not lie to hide his criminal record. They are open to any job they can find. They are not open to higher studies at this time. Even though DC was academically a superstar up until few years ago, their mental health challenges has resulted with significant self confidence damage. They are also facing lingering major depression. So, any job is better than staying at home. It’s just that they are having tough times to find job. I wish we had better support system in the country for capable , ethical people who are facing significant mental health issues. I am also mad with the legal system where a conviction originating from mental health challenges is recorded and treated same way as a conviction resulting from criminal actions performed with full faculty intact!
Just stop. stop blaming the system. Yes, you have a significant problem Yes, you should seek out a lawyer's advice about expunging this (Yes, I am a lawyer but not that type). Deal with the problem. Don't go liberal "mental health" stuff on anyone. WE ALL HAVE ISSUES and problems. You defeat your own position once you blame "the system" and i say that as a parent of two SN kids who have significant disabilities.
Anonymous
11/15/2023 23:15
Subject: Adult kids with mental health issue; Cannot find job and progress
Anonymous wrote:Starbucks, Retail, Restaurant job
These places are still desperate to hire people.
No there is a PBJ. read upthread. Employers figure this out. Especially chain operators
Anonymous
11/15/2023 23:15
Subject: Adult kids with mental health issue; Cannot find job and progress
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Have a 25 year old DC. They are intelligent, compassionate and academically brilliant (have been identified as gifted in school and graduated college with presidential scholarship).
They had a series of mental health issues for last two years. They have finished college (with social sciences double major) successfully in 2020 with pretty respectful GPA. They have not held stable jobs since graduation. During one of the mental health episodes, police was called for wellness check. Police was upset with DC's actions during a mental health breakdown and filed a case against DC. The case resulted in a PBJ outcome and a criminal misdemeanor record for DC.
They have been stable mental health wise (staying on medication, therapy etc) and looking for a job. But no one is giving them a chance. They have been truthful in disclosing the records and past mental health challenges with employers. Two employers offered job enthusiastically based on DC's interviews and rescinded later. Where is help when someone with mental health issues wants to move on and live a respectful life? DC is heartbroken and I am very frustrated. Please suggest if you know something can help.
If possible, you can help DC set up a small business.
That's not the advice they are seeking
Anonymous
11/15/2023 23:03
Subject: Adult kids with mental health issue; Cannot find job and progress
Dear kind DCUMers, had a few extremely busy work days and reading your responses now.
Yes, PBJ is probation before judgement. DC will not lie to hide his criminal record. They are open to any job they can find. They are not open to higher studies at this time. Even though DC was academically a superstar up until few years ago, their mental health challenges has resulted with significant self confidence damage. They are also facing lingering major depression. So, any job is better than staying at home. It’s just that they are having tough times to find job. I wish we had better support system in the country for capable , ethical people who are facing significant mental health issues. I am also mad with the legal system where a conviction originating from mental health challenges is recorded and treated same way as a conviction resulting from criminal actions performed with full faculty intact!
Yes, PBJ is probation before judgement. DC will not lie to hide his criminal record. They are open to any job they can find. They are not open to higher studies at this time. Even though DC was academically a superstar up until few years ago, their mental health challenges has resulted with significant self confidence damage. They are also facing lingering major depression. So, any job is better than staying at home. It’s just that they are having tough times to find job. I wish we had better support system in the country for capable , ethical people who are facing significant mental health issues. I am also mad with the legal system where a conviction originating from mental health challenges is recorded and treated same way as a conviction resulting from criminal actions performed with full faculty intact!
Anonymous
11/15/2023 12:10
Subject: Re:Adult kids with mental health issue; Cannot find job and progress
OP, great suggestions here - perhaps not what your DC or you want to hear, but they are realistic given the circumstances.
GL to your DC - pulling for them and your family.
GL to your DC - pulling for them and your family.
Anonymous
11/14/2023 21:51
Subject: Adult kids with mental health issue; Cannot find job and progress
Starbucks, Retail, Restaurant job
These places are still desperate to hire people.
These places are still desperate to hire people.
Anonymous
11/14/2023 21:39
Subject: Adult kids with mental health issue; Cannot find job and progress
If this is a PBJ in what I think it is, it can be expunged after 3 years... that's not too far. Be patient and kind. 25 is still very young and there's plenty of time for things to turnaround. I'd say to take a break from finding a career to finding a job, it can be Starbucks or as a line cook at a restaurant, do that for a year and try again.
Anonymous
11/14/2023 21:24
Subject: Adult kids with mental health issue; Cannot find job and progress
Anonymous wrote:Have a 25 year old DC. They are intelligent, compassionate and academically brilliant (have been identified as gifted in school and graduated college with presidential scholarship).
They had a series of mental health issues for last two years. They have finished college (with social sciences double major) successfully in 2020 with pretty respectful GPA. They have not held stable jobs since graduation. During one of the mental health episodes, police was called for wellness check. Police was upset with DC's actions during a mental health breakdown and filed a case against DC. The case resulted in a PBJ outcome and a criminal misdemeanor record for DC.
They have been stable mental health wise (staying on medication, therapy etc) and looking for a job. But no one is giving them a chance. They have been truthful in disclosing the records and past mental health challenges with employers. Two employers offered job enthusiastically based on DC's interviews and rescinded later. Where is help when someone with mental health issues wants to move on and live a respectful life? DC is heartbroken and I am very frustrated. Please suggest if you know something can help.
If possible, you can help DC set up a small business.
Anonymous
11/14/2023 21:18
Subject: Re:Adult kids with mental health issue; Cannot find job and progress
Can you help your child get a volunteer job where they could get a work history and reference even if not income? It sounds like having a recent work history showing stability might be needed before they can get a paying job. Or could your child return to school to get credentialed for something where the credential itself would help with later getting hired? Or return for school for a master’s degree in a profession like therapy or social work where the community hiring after might be more understanding if mental health issues.
Anonymous
11/14/2023 19:01
Subject: Adult kids with mental health issue; Cannot find job and progress
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The police case resulted in peanut butter and jelly? What? Why do you assume everyone will know your random acronyms? If you want help spell things out.
Here's my help pending the above: stop talking about being schizophrenic or whatever the issue is. Just lie and say s/he was taking care of a beloved elderly relative at the end of their life and now they are ready to move on with their life. LIE.
Your post made me smile as I was thinking the same. Good advice too
Probation Before Judgment. Lying is a REALLY bad thing to do if you want a job with a background check - which 98% of jobs do these days. Employers will not hire a liar. [/quote]
Yup. I'm the one upthread who did background checks on nannies. Once they lie about their driving record they are toast. you don't lie
Anonymous
11/14/2023 18:58
Subject: Re:Adult kids with mental health issue; Cannot find job and progress
Anonymous wrote:Mental health can be disclosed during application process under the ADA question that most employers pose…
Does DC pass a background check with the police filing? if you don’t know, you should find this out. If it pops up in a background check, they are going to have a hard time getting jobs in most F500, govt, bank, finance sector, insurance companies, etc. And indeed offers will be rescinded.
Can your DC get in with a temp agency? And they can let the temp agency know they would like to be placed in Temp to Perm possible roles, at reputable companies. It will give them a chance to try out different companies and different roles for say a year, and it will boost their resume a little bit.
This could be it. we do our own background checks on nannies, etc. you would be astonished (maybe not) how people lie.