Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would get him therapy. The drugs of today are not the same experimental drugs of our past generation. Fentanyl mixed in so many drugs causing overdoses, and today’s weed causes drug induced psychosis. Get him a therapist maybe an underlying desire to fit in, or depression. Also get him involved in activities and something to look forward to surrounded by like minded peers.

Therapy for what? I have a 17 year old who I know has a couple of beers at parties, because he’s told me so. I assume he has tried pot. He is a happy kid - loves his sport and works really hard at it, has a tight group of friends, is a good son and grandson, drives responsibly, does well in school. He does what teenagers do because it’s fun. It’s also bad for him and dangerous, which he knows full well. He does it anyway, as I did before him and I bet his kids will do in turn.

I am not going to ruin my relationship with him by pathologizing a normal (though risky) life stage. We do as much harm reduction as we can - Uber, Life360, home at a reasonable hour, knowing his friends and their parents - and then we hope and pray.

Exactly this! I think the controlling, over the top parents have no communication with their kids and are actually just clueless. I like that my 17yr old once asked for a ride home from a party he didn’t think anyone was sober to drive. My almost 15yo asked to go on BC pills and I was really proud she asked me.

Many teens experiment in high school and don’t always make the right decisions. And we talk a lot about risks and don’t condone anything. But at the same time we don’t threat, demean, and we aren’t like vultures.

Give them some autonomy before college.

Anonymous wrote:Hey, hey, hey, smoke weed everyday. It is 2023 (almost 2024) now, y’all know that right?

So 2023 means it ok to kill your brain cells?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would get him therapy. The drugs of today are not the same experimental drugs of our past generation. Fentanyl mixed in so many drugs causing overdoses, and today’s weed causes drug induced psychosis. Get him a therapist maybe an underlying desire to fit in, or depression. Also get him involved in activities and something to look forward to surrounded by like minded peers.

Therapy for what? I have a 17 year old who I know has a couple of beers at parties, because he’s told me so. I assume he has tried pot. He is a happy kid - loves his sport and works really hard at it, has a tight group of friends, is a good son and grandson, drives responsibly, does well in school. He does what teenagers do because it’s fun. It’s also bad for him and dangerous, which he knows full well. He does it anyway, as I did before him and I bet his kids will do in turn.

I am not going to ruin my relationship with him by pathologizing a normal (though risky) life stage. We do as much harm reduction as we can - Uber, Life360, home at a reasonable hour, knowing his friends and their parents - and then we hope and pray.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I would get him therapy. The drugs of today are not the same experimental drugs of our past generation. Fentanyl mixed in so many drugs causing overdoses, and today’s weed causes drug induced psychosis. Get him a therapist maybe an underlying desire to fit in, or depression. Also get him involved in activities and something to look forward to surrounded by like minded peers.

Therapy for what? I have a 17 year old who I know has a couple of beers at parties, because he’s told me so. I assume he has tried pot. He is a happy kid - loves his sport and works really hard at it, has a tight group of friends, is a good son and grandson, drives responsibly, does well in school. He does what teenagers do because it’s fun. It’s also bad for him and dangerous, which he knows full well. He does it anyway, as I did before him and I bet his kids will do in turn.

I am not going to ruin my relationship with him by pathologizing a normal (though risky) life stage. We do as much harm reduction as we can - Uber, Life360, home at a reasonable hour, knowing his friends and their parents - and then we hope and pray.

Would your reaction (therapy, grounded for life, whatever....) be that same if it was alcohol and not weed?

Anonymous wrote:I drug tested him on and off for a year or so. He’s in college now and I know he’s drinking and smoking cigarettes there. I made it clear that if I suspected anything else, I would drug test him and take away his phone, car insurance, etc.

I would 100% want my kid smoking weed before cigarettes. Actually would prefer edibles and save their lungs, but oh well.

You threatening an adult off at college is weird.

Ground them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If his school work isn't suffering, nothing. It is natural to experiment with soft drugs. As long as it is an occasional thing.

Are you a drug dealer??!?!??!!!

No, I am just not crazy like half the people here. I am not a permissive parent. My kids are both extremely well behaved, intelligent, and engaging kids. They do well in school and one of them is about to head to a good college.

I smoked quite a lot of cannabis as a young man. Whike if I could do it again I would choose to do less (and I haven’t smoked cannabis for a quarter of a century) it didn’t stop me being a very successful student and worker. (My salary is in the top one percent, since that is the metric that dcum cares the most about).

My parents were vaguely aware of what was going on but didn’t intervene. It is hard to imagine my life would have gone better had they been more restrictive, reported me to the police, beaten me up, forced me to be drug tested or whatever other crazy ideas people are floating here. I suspect it would have been much worse.

Of course, if they are getting into hard drugs things are different. But again, the best way to deal is to stay involved, ensure they are educated on the risks, and getting the help they need.

Anonymous wrote:Beat the shit out of him and he knows it. Ridicule him, call him the loser that he is. Only complete losers do drugs.

If you kid did drugs we would know why. Only losers beat their kids.

Anonymous wrote:Beat the shit out of him and he knows it. Ridicule him, call him the loser that he is. Only complete losers do drugs.

+1

All teens are doing it now. Lie drinking you need to teach them in moderation.

I would get him therapy. The drugs of today are not the same experimental drugs of our past generation. Fentanyl mixed in so many drugs causing overdoses, and today’s weed causes drug induced psychosis. Get him a therapist maybe an underlying desire to fit in, or depression. Also get him involved in activities and something to look forward to surrounded by like minded peers.

It’s pervasive- if you have a kid who is at all involved in the HS social scene they will probably dabble in it. That and drinking, in reasonable doses, I have tolerated and kind of looked the other way with my 16 yo. However, I don’t enable it or buy it for her and make her skirt around me bc that does help keep it a bit contained.

I would talk to my child and figure out the why. I would get them into therapy to deal with anxiety and such that could drive them toward drug use if mental health is a problem. I would start family therapy if family dynamics are part of the problem. I would try and steer them toward activities that are incompatible with weed use so they have less time or opportunity. Sports, a job, volunteer work, after school clubs….really anything kids do not do while high will limit the opportunity and time for weed use. I would teach them about fentanyl , get them narcan to carry and narcan for the house. I would contact parents in the friend group to alert them you have discovered that their social extended social circle is using weed and while you do not know specifics of who and how much, you want to let parents know kids are at least around another kids who are experimenting with weed use and ask them to talk about fentanyl and narcan. I would discuss the need for sober rides with my child and let them know that they without getting punished can contact me if they ever find themselves in a dangerous situation where their ride is impaired and I will get them. I would get them an Uber account for emergency use for the same reason. I would make sure I knew for a fact that they were not going to use weed/drink before driving before allowing them access to a car. Finally, just like with alcohol I would keep in mind that at 21 I should assume my child will live somewhere that weed is legal and so my goal is to keep them healthy and set them up for not abusing weed or alcohol when they are adult or when they get to college where both really are plentiful.

Therapy, possibly drug treatment if warranted. A loss in privileges, such as access to his car.