I did EBF the first three or four weeks and that was when I figured out, changing every diaper is the easy job. Feeding is much harder, esp with a burpy baby who needed to be held upright for 30 mins after each feed. Formula is the answer here...at least it was for me.

My husband helps by doing the laundry or going grocery shopping. I do almost everything else for the kids. Baby #3 is almost 5 months old and my husband hasn’t changed a single diaper or gotten up at night to comfort the baby.

My husband always took as much time off as he could when babies were born. Would bring baby to me to nurse, change its diaper, then swaddle and put back to sleep afterward. He also took over cooking, cleaning, etc. Once he was back to work he still manage to do the household chores. Would hold baby while they slept, change diapers, help with baths, dressing etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be honest. I ebf and my husband did very little. And it drove me bonkers that he said that he was up too during the night because I was up with the baby. I was a mess due to lack of sleep especially after I went back to work at three months. At that point he helped more because I was at my limit. Kudos to all these more equal partnerships in regards to newborns.

x10000 Wonder how much has to do with their own parental example? Mine was hopeless.

(ie: my DH was hopeless)

Anonymous wrote:I’ll be honest. I ebf and my husband did very little. And it drove me bonkers that he said that he was up too during the night because I was up with the baby. I was a mess due to lack of sleep especially after I went back to work at three months. At that point he helped more because I was at my limit. Kudos to all these more equal partnerships in regards to newborns.

x10000 Wonder how much has to do with their own parental example? Mine was hopeless.

I’ll be honest. I ebf and my husband did very little. And it drove me bonkers that he said that he was up too during the night because I was up with the baby. I was a mess due to lack of sleep especially after I went back to work at three months. At that point he helped more because I was at my limit. Kudos to all these more equal partnerships in regards to newborns.

He did all the diaper changes, a vast majority of the baths, assumed all the meal prep and dog walks and laundry.

Husband was utterly useless at first and would do things like plop food next to me on the couch that was just out of arms reach and not ask if he could cut it up or take the baby for a minute so I could feed myself. Never occurred to him to bring me water or generally help proactively at all. He’s not an intuitive or empathetic person in general. It’s his only character flaw because he’s generally an extremely kind, patient, hardworking person. That put a strain on our marriage and I told him so, so he stepped up big time after the newborn phase. Our daughter was the world’s worst sleeper, and he did the 3-5 am shift for a year despite working a 60 hour a week job without complaint. He also did all laundry, pet care, and dishes. He now gets up and takes her for 2 hours every morning so I can sleep in after doing the night (she no longer accepts his help at night, only wants mom).