Crazy for them to pick a theme without even knowing if your kids like it. I would definitely tell them if your kids do not like Taylor Swift.

Hey Sis...I know TS is very popular but not really with my kids. Here is our Amazon wish list to make things easier.

Anonymous wrote:NP but something I’ve always been curious about. Why are people so hell bent on gifting crap? Aren’t we all tired of the madness of running around?

I know some people just regift crap that they don't want in their own house that their kids have gotten for birthday gifts or other things.... So they are not actually going out and buying these presents. They're just basically wrapping up crap they already own and giving it to the niece or whoever

Do not give their kids cash! Take your kids out and have them pick stuff out for their cousins. They will love it.

$5 gift cards!

Give their kids stuff not cash.

Anonymous wrote:I would reply:

“Actually, the kids are getting really into math and they love the idea of gift certificates and being included in the big kid gift exchange! They request gift cards from Target and Barnes and Noble. Great idea aunties!”

Keep it light and fun. If they insist on physical gifts then you also bring physical gifts that your kids have fun picking out for their cousins.

This

Do your girls even like Taylor swift? If they like her I’d be tempted to let it go one more year, but if they don’t or are I different, I’d either ignore the text entirely or chime in that yours would also prefer cash so it sounds like it’s time to end this particular tradition. Then, don’t engage in any back and forth.

Isn't it obvious what is going on here? SILs overbought Taylor Swift merch and now they are trying to offload their kids' least-wanted stuff on you for cash. If there has been crappy gifts coming from those two SILs for years, this is your chance to get out. Announce you are not doing gift exchanges with either side of the family but look forward to getting together for the holiday meal.

We (DH and I) stopped the gift exchange on both sides of the family when it basically became a gift card/money exchange when the older cousins (including my kids) were in high school and college. DH and I kept gifting the youngest cousins (under 6) separately because they were his baby sister's kids and she had been gifting the other kids for years. We heard some grumbling from a few people (MIL and my sister) but most of the other women were glad not to have the burden of shopping.

NP but something I’ve always been curious about. Why are people so hell bent on gifting crap? Aren’t we all tired of the madness of running around?

Yeah I would never accept all of that crap just to appease people who seem to have a shopping addiction.
In my family I would just say this isn't working anymore so let's pool the money and do an activity together or let's stop at all together.
If this was my husband's family I would have him handle it meaning he can either take all of the stuff to goodwill and deal with it after the holidays or he can have a heart to heart with his sisters and say this just isn't working anymore.

It's unfair for them to say what their children want which is money but then expect to just get your kids crap that they don't want our need

Honestly , if they ask for cash for their kids then balk about not getting to buy Swiftie stuff for your kids then I would have no issues hurting their feelings or stomping on their shopping fun. They are demanding cash for their kids and aren’t bothering to get your kids something they might enjoy. This gifting is about them. They’re using your kids to buy crap that their kids would never had wanted. Just say no.

As a rule of thumb, the more pushy or overbearing a person behaves the more they deserve a big NO.

OP - if you and your DH are on the same page, HE should send a text that your kids would appreciate cash and/or suggest stop with the gift giving. He could also propose that there be a limit on all gifts for $20 and do a Secret Santa if your remove. Do a Yankee Gift Swap if you get together but you'll need to make sure the gifts you buy are something your kids would want.

My family - I'd flat out tell them the kids want cash and to offer to stop gift giving. My sibilings now just send me money and ask me to slap their name on something my kids would like for Christmas. They send cash directly to the kids on different occasions (graduation, trip, etc.). They will also randomly send a gift if the see something they think a kid would like.

My DH's family is completely different and there is a huge reluctance to bring up anything that might impinge on someone's idea of 'tradition'. They either give crappy stuff that ends up in the donation pile or stuff that really shows they know little about the recipient which also ends up in the donation pile. After the death of most of the older generation, they finally moved to a Yankee gift swap but the first couple years were just has horrible but, at least, there was less of it. You can get some fabulous stuff or fun stuff for $20 especially if you shop on Prime Day or Black Friday.

Anonymous wrote:Why can't your husband say "Oh that's so sweet, but actually our girls aren't into Taylor Swift at all. They're more into Billie Eilish (or whoever)."

This is what I would do. And since they've specifically said what their kids want, then suggest some options of things for each kid. I wouldn't give a hang about sounding rude as demands for CASH are more rude.

I wonder if they are somehow splitting the cost between them of the tangible gifts to your kids.

I like the idea of saying "The girls are excited to be part of the big kids' gift card exchange. Gift cards to Target or Amazon or [favorite ice cream shop or local store] would be awesome."