Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should’ve just asked if she could go nobody would care weirdo

Do you know nothing of teen girl relationships?

Well, I did raise four of them

That’s surprising because as someone else with older girls, I agree with PP. If she was excluded for a reason the worst thing she could do is ask if she could come.

She knows if she was excluded for a reason.

This is not always true- sometimes teen girls exclude others for frivolous reasons and might not even have mentioned it to the DD.

Have a DD15. She is at a party tonight but a couple of her good friends were not invited. Not saying it is right but reasons —

—Host has a guest list that is limited
— The host is friends of her boyfriend. And the other girls going are matching with some of his friends.

I do thin one of the unexpected downsides or parents being so strict. And I see kids “banned” all kind of stupid reasons including maybe one girl doesn’t want another girl ther because they like the same guy.

So who know. Shake it off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should’ve just asked if she could go nobody would care weirdo

Do you know nothing of teen girl relationships?

Well, I did raise four of them

That’s surprising because as someone else with older girls, I agree with PP. If she was excluded for a reason the worst thing she could do is ask if she could come.

My daughter and her fiends are frequently invited to parties, but the people who host them are outside of their immediate friend group. If two of the girls are invited, but the other two aren’t, the invited girls WILL ask if they can bring other friends. Sometimes the hosts say sure! Other times they’ll say no.

That’s also rude. If you are invited to a party you don’t ask to bring a guest. Teach your kids manners.

No, not always rude at this age. Depends on relationship with the host, size of the party. My DD would totally ask if the host was a closer friend, and it was a large casual gathering anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should’ve just asked if she could go nobody would care weirdo

Do you know nothing of teen girl relationships?

Well, I did raise four of them

That’s surprising because as someone else with older girls, I agree with PP. If she was excluded for a reason the worst thing she could do is ask if she could come.

My daughter and her friends are frequently invited to parties, but the people who host them are outside of their immediate friend group. If two of the girls are invited, but the other two aren’t, the invited girls WILL ask if they can bring other friends. Sometimes the hosts say sure! Other times they’ll say no.

The exclusion may truly have been inadvertent. Invitations are now shared via WhatsApp/ Text. We hosted a birthday/ Halloween party and I helped my daughter come up with the original list. But there are so many different groups in high school it is hard to not forget someone.

We are old school- think cotillion- manners family. But the age and tech have overcome reality for invitations where there isn’t a hard headcount. My DD set up the party chat and shared the invitation. Then she said to please let her know who she had forgotten (and also a few people whose # she didn’t have as she was inviting more casual friends). There was also at least 1 wrong # involved.

I really think it’s ok to suggest missing friends in an invitation these days. And if it is a big party, to ask to include someone else.

I monitored the RSVP poll throughout- we did end up adding 10 people to the original list. And I reached out to a couple of neighborhood moms to be sure their daughters had gotten the text/ joined the group/ or at least knew about the party.

All you can do it be there to listen if she wants, and try to distract a bit (I’d order my DD’s favorite takeout and we’d watch a movie or something).

Sometimes it is really just an oversight or there is a valid reason for this sort of thing (guest limit from parents or the other girls have a common factor you may not have thought of- they play the same sport and your DD doesn’t, for example). My freshman DD has a core group but also has friends in a few different circles (from her sport, neighborhood friends, older friends she has known since elementary or middle school etc). Seems the same for most of her friends. While there is some overlap for sure, they aren’t always all invited to the same events. Sometimes proximity is a factor also- easy to forget a more casual friend in the group if you haven’t seen her much lately (as happens sometimes in high school with different class schedules, lunch periods, extracurriculars).

Anonymous wrote:Teen girl politics can be so terrible. This happened to me in high school. I was so hurt by it.

My story: my best friend from grade school moved back home and I brought her into my friend group. My two best friends from high school decided that she was "weird" and started saying mean things about her. I stood up for her and told them to knock it off. They then decided to teach me a lesson by excluding me and including her. They invited her and several of our other friends on a ski trip over Christmas break and left me at home. (My grade school BFF did NOT stand up for me.)

I hope you can look back and know you did the right thing. I feel terrible for teenage you though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should’ve just asked if she could go nobody would care weirdo

Do you know nothing of teen girl relationships?

Well, I did raise four of them

That’s surprising because as someone else with older girls, I agree with PP. If she was excluded for a reason the worst thing she could do is ask if she could come.

My daughter and her fiends are frequently invited to parties, but the people who host them are outside of their immediate friend group. If two of the girls are invited, but the other two aren’t, the invited girls WILL ask if they can bring other friends. Sometimes the hosts say sure! Other times they’ll say no.

That’s also rude. If you are invited to a party you don’t ask to bring a guest. Teach your kids manners.

Teen girl politics can be so terrible. This happened to me in high school. I was so hurt by it.

My story: my best friend from grade school moved back home and I brought her into my friend group. My two best friends from high school decided that she was "weird" and started saying mean things about her. I stood up for her and told them to knock it off. They then decided to teach me a lesson by excluding me and including her. They invited her and several of our other friends on a ski trip over Christmas break and left me at home. (My grade school BFF did NOT stand up for me.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should’ve just asked if she could go nobody would care weirdo

Do you know nothing of teen girl relationships?

Well, I did raise four of them

That’s surprising because as someone else with older girls, I agree with PP. If she was excluded for a reason the worst thing she could do is ask if she could come.

My daughter and her fiends are frequently invited to parties, but the people who host them are outside of their immediate friend group. If two of the girls are invited, but the other two aren’t, the invited girls WILL ask if they can bring other friends. Sometimes the hosts say sure! Other times they’ll say no.

My daughter is at a Halloween party and one of her close friends wasn’t invited. While it’s true that hosts can’t invite everyone it does feel like some are particularly slighted. In this situation, the one girl is often excluded because the Queen B of the group has taken a disliking to her. She finds her “embarrassing.” The truth is the girl shines brighter than everyone, has a dynamic vivacious personality and will thrive in life.

A friend "group" does not have definite members. Imo there is no group. Every single girl has other friends you're just choosing not to acknowledge.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should’ve just asked if she could go nobody would care weirdo

Do you know nothing of teen girl relationships?

Well, I did raise four of them

That’s surprising because as someone else with older girls, I agree with PP. If she was excluded for a reason the worst thing she could do is ask if she could come.

She knows if she was excluded for a reason.

This happened to my DD last year and she was crushed. Turns out it was just the host being mean. The other girls felt bad about it later. This year they made sure my DD was included on planning for a Halloween party (at someone else’s house). They aren’t all horrible.

In MS, my DD was not invited to something within their friend group. The girl who was hosting said to my DD that they have a different type of friendship, which was BS. They were very good friends till then. There was an underlying issue that had been brewing and simmering just under the surface. They were both a bit too volatile and emotional. Needless to say, my DD found a different friend group and is much happier now in HS. Less drama with this group. It may be a blessing in disguise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should’ve just asked if she could go nobody would care weirdo

Do you know nothing of teen girl relationships?

Well, I did raise four of them

That’s surprising because as someone else with older girls, I agree with PP. If she was excluded for a reason the worst thing she could do is ask if she could come.