Anonymous wrote:Do either of you have spouses and kids? If she has kids and no spouse, she will need help. But if you also have kids you'd be leaving to help her, ehhh, that's a lot to ask.

As an aside, $12k is VERY cheap for that work. Are you not in a metropolitan area?

It sounds like this is a surgery in Mexico, DR, or Colombia, because no way she could get all that in the US for 12k!

I got plastic surgery done in Colombia and hired 24hr nurses for 2 weeks. Your sister can do the same thing. What an outrageous request. I just did lipo and the recovery was rough (results incredible!!!!) there’s no way I would burden a sibling with this. You will literally have to help her get out of bed to go pee. No way!

I had tummy tuck and lipo 2 years ago. I could not walk without a walker for 2+ weeks as I could not straighten up. I had two drains I emptied daily. I needed a raised toilet seat.
A true TT is a major surgery. Huge.
I had an excellent surgeon/practice yet I personally came out of this thinking plastic surgeons downplay recovery pretty significantly.
I have kids so it was very significant and I needed a lot of recovery help. I went back to in-person office job after 3 weeks out.

Your sister does not realize how major this is. I could not get out of bed without help for at least 4 days

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, what does it entail, OP? If it's minor, is that such a burden? You could always do a terrible job, and then she'll be sure to avoid putting your name down in the future

It’s not minor. It’s breast implants and a tummy tuck with lipo. Recovery is expected to be 2 weeks at home and 6 weeks of light duty. She won’t be allowed to carry anything over 10lbs for 6 weeks.

FWIW most doctors won't perform that many surgeries at once. Anyhow, use your words and say no. Most plastic surgeons have nurses that are happy to get side gigs helping patients.

Just not true at all. It's common and safe (as far as surgery goes). I had this exact combo done after my weight loss, and it was nowhere NEAR as involved as the full-body excess skin removals on offer these days.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Well, what does it entail, OP? If it's minor, is that such a burden? You could always do a terrible job, and then she'll be sure to avoid putting your name down in the future

It’s not minor. It’s breast implants and a tummy tuck with lipo. Recovery is expected to be 2 weeks at home and 6 weeks of light duty. She won’t be allowed to carry anything over 10lbs for 6 weeks.

FWIW most doctors won't perform that many surgeries at once. Anyhow, use your words and say no. Most plastic surgeons have nurses that are happy to get side gigs helping patients.

Tangent but very important; she should not be having these many things done at one time. It's too many assaults on the body.

I attended a lecture by the head of a hospital (I'm in LA) and the short summary is:

The body is very good at handling one stressor at a time, but terrible at handling two or more.

That's why if you get the flu, your body is good at handling it, and if you break your ankle, your body can handle it, but if you do both at the same time, your body has a really hard time.

It's also why if you are ever offered a choice of using your own self or a cadaver to replace something (for skiiing accidents...sorry I'm not medical and not a skier), you go with the cadaver so as to not have two injuries to your body.

It's also why when you are sick you should not go for that run. Just take a walk.

One example he gave was if you are in the hospital to have your knee replaced and the doctor says, well while you are here, we can do your elbow at the same time, you say no.

I know this is not what you asked but besides her health, this is also relevant to her recovery time.

I'd say no, not until she goes to someone else. Or, just, no.

She may lose the 2k or whatever, but it's a lesson and some lessons cost money.

She needs a rotation of carers. I’d do the first few days. And grocery shop after, maybe help get her to a follow up. Are your parents nearby? Does she have any friends?

OP, I'd put your concerns in writing to your sister. To cover your ass if something goes wrong and she chooses to blame you for supporting this plan of hers.

Anonymous wrote:Do either of you have spouses and kids? If she has kids and no spouse, she will need help. But if you also have kids you'd be leaving to help her, ehhh, that's a lot to ask.

As an aside, $12k is VERY cheap for that work. Are you not in a metropolitan area?

Yeah that cost is concerning.

I’d help my sister if I was able to but if you can’t let her know asap so she can make other arrangements

Do either of you have spouses and kids? If she has kids and no spouse, she will need help. But if you also have kids you'd be leaving to help her, ehhh, that's a lot to ask.

As an aside, $12k is VERY cheap for that work. Are you not in a metropolitan area?

If its not a life saving or medically necessary surgery, you aren't obliged to help. Just say no.

Anonymous wrote:My sister had this same surgery and needed help for 2-3 days, and not around the clock either. I’d tell her you can help for a couple of days and then she’ll need to hire someone. Two weeks of care of an elective surgery is way too much to ask of a sibling.

That’s what the care instructions say. She also isn’t supposed to drive for at least a week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, have you gotten plastic surgery?

No, but I’ve gone with friends to their consults as support.

Then based on your experiences, you can tell your sister what’s wrong with her consult. Different doctor?

I told her I didn’t like how aggressive they were and she was supposed to tell them she’d think about it even if she was going to pick them so she could have time to plan and think it over. Instead right after the doctor left the office coordinator came in, gave her the total and asked for her credit card. She told the coordinator she would have to get back to her but the coordinator told her the doctor is very busy and to get on the calendar now and she could change her mind later (and failed to verbally tell her about strict deadlines to get her money back buried in small print at the end of the contract) so she caved and gave her a credit card. I’ve never seen that done before. If for any reason she fails to show up to surgery or cancel at least 2 weeks before surgery she is liable for the entire amount ($12k). Usually they go over the estimate, ask if you’d like to schedule today and if you say I’ll think about it that’s it. She was extremely pushy. I asked my sister why she caved and she claimed she was going to do it anyway but that’s not true. She had to actually transfer money from her bank account and pay her credit card in the office to even pay them.

My sister had this same surgery and needed help for 2-3 days, and not around the clock either. I’d tell her you can help for a couple of days and then she’ll need to hire someone. Two weeks of care of an elective surgery is way too much to ask of a sibling.

Your sister cannot force you to take care of her post op. You need to be clear and direct and say this doesn't work for me, find someone else.