Anonymous
Post 10/26/2023 16:30     Subject: Tell me About Your 10 Yr Old/ 5th Graders Bedtime Routine
I spend about half an hour in my 10yo DS room at bedtime (I enforce the same cutoff time each night). Usually we're both reading our own things, he just likes me around. We've been doing this basic routine for years. I know this won't last forever, so I don't generally mind it, and it also tends to be when anything that's on his mind from school or whatever comes out.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2023 15:12     Subject: Tell me About Your 10 Yr Old/ 5th Graders Bedtime Routine
Anonymous wrote:Our ten year old is our oldest and I think we might still be doing a bedtime routine with her that is more geared to younger kids. She wants us to stay nearby while she showers, be there when she is getting changed for bed, sit in her room while she reads to herself. I'm glad she still wants our company, but want to make sure we are fostering independence.

Right now we go upstairs with her and younger sibling and prod her along while she finishes getting her backpack together, showers, brushes teeth, etc. Then we stay and read while she reads, then say goodnight and give her a hug, turn off lights and leave. Because she is generally extraordinarily slow, this can often take 90 minutes. How far off are we from the norm?


There is no norm, OP. There is just what works for your family, and what doesn't work. If this present schedule doesn't work for you, then start to change it. Otherwise, keep it the same.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2023 15:08     Subject: Re:Tell me About Your 10 Yr Old/ 5th Graders Bedtime Routine
We remind her when its time to go upstairs. She showers and changes on her own. She calls up and and we give her a kiss in bed and then she reads on her own till she turns the light off.
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2023 15:04     Subject: Tell me About Your 10 Yr Old/ 5th Graders Bedtime Routine
It’s. Cruel summer
Anonymous
Post 10/26/2023 15:02     Subject: Tell me About Your 10 Yr Old/ 5th Graders Bedtime Routine
I wouldn’t worry about the norm. Do what works for you. It’s ok if she wants your company after everyone being apart for most of the day.

It sounds like she can get herself ready but just likes you to be around. There is nothing wrong with that, unless you don’t have time it something.

Anonymous
Post 10/25/2023 03:08     Subject: Tell me About Your 10 Yr Old/ 5th Graders Bedtime Routine
Anonymous wrote:Our ten year old is our oldest and I think we might still be doing a bedtime routine with her that is more geared to younger kids. She wants us to stay nearby while she showers, be there when she is getting changed for bed, sit in her room while she reads to herself. I'm glad she still wants our company, but want to make sure we are fostering independence.

Right now we go upstairs with her and younger sibling and prod her along while she finishes getting her backpack together, showers, brushes teeth, etc. Then we stay and read while she reads, then say goodnight and give her a hug, turn off lights and leave. Because she is generally extraordinarily slow, this can often take 90 minutes. How far off are we from the norm?


Far off. But if it works for you that’s all that matters.

I would evaluate if your DD is practicing enough independence generally as she will be in MS next year.
Anonymous
Post 10/25/2023 00:00     Subject: Tell me About Your 10 Yr Old/ 5th Graders Bedtime Routine
Anonymous wrote:Op your daughter needs more independence. She should be able to shower and change independently unless there are underlying issues. How nearby are you? I can see doing chores in another area on the same floor, but no way to sitting with her while she changes and reads.


You are overreacting.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2023 23:59     Subject: Tell me About Your 10 Yr Old/ 5th Graders Bedtime Routine
My kid is 9. It is about an hour. Kids are different.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2023 13:00     Subject: Tell me About Your 10 Yr Old/ 5th Graders Bedtime Routine
My DD is like yours OP, almost exactly

I do like to be there when she gets in the shower to make sure she has pulled the curtain closed completely. She is not great about this and it's better than me losing my mind over the wet floor.

I also brush her hair, on nights that she's washed it. She could do it herself but I don't mind the ritual.

She needs prompting to get through everything else, or she'd waste an hour acting and dancing in front of the mirror while brushing teeth.

She does get "tucked in" and a few nights a week I read in her room while she is reading.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2023 12:13     Subject: Tell me About Your 10 Yr Old/ 5th Graders Bedtime Routine
Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 11 in sixth grade. She still wants us at bedtime, but heck no to 90 minutes (although she would love that). She showers and gets ready on her own. We then read together and talk for 15-30 minutes.

The reality is she will probably want nothing to do with us in the next few years so we are happy to still read and talk before bed for a bit.

I also have an 11 year old 6th grader who showers and gets ready for bed on her own. After her shower she comes back down and we talk or watch a show together and then she goes up to bed. I am definitely going to miss the post-shower time when she decides she’s too cool for that. That’s the time she’s most relaxed and fills me in on her news of the day.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2023 09:49     Subject: Tell me About Your 10 Yr Old/ 5th Graders Bedtime Routine
Op your daughter needs more independence. She should be able to shower and change independently unless there are underlying issues. How nearby are you? I can see doing chores in another area on the same floor, but no way to sitting with her while she changes and reads.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2023 09:40     Subject: Tell me About Your 10 Yr Old/ 5th Graders Bedtime Routine
Anyone have to remind their kid to use the bathroom before bedtime?
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2023 00:04     Subject: Tell me About Your 10 Yr Old/ 5th Graders Bedtime Routine
She puts her pajamas on, pees, brushes teeth, takes off glasses. I get in bed with her. Dad says good night. I chat with her about what's going on tomorrow. Then I play our favorite bedtime songs on the HomePod. We hold hands until she falls asleep, usually by the third or fourth song. Lots of times I fail asleep with her and then get up and go to my own bed.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2023 23:50     Subject: Tell me About Your 10 Yr Old/ 5th Graders Bedtime Routine
Mine asks for help rinsing shampoo+conditioner out of her hair after her shower, so I do stay nearby for showers. I help her brush her teeth because she just had a cavity filled and the dentist suggested we help her brush her back teeth once a day. I go in and chat for a few minutes before she goes to sleep.

That sounds somewhere in between you and all the other parents who do nothing.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2023 15:26     Subject: Tell me About Your 10 Yr Old/ 5th Graders Bedtime Routine
My 10-year-old boy does not shower every night but only after sports practice is or games which is about four times a week. Typically goes to sports practice or a game , eats dinner , does homework hangs out showers if needed. His siblings go to bed a little earlier and he'll hang out and watch a show with us. We then typically read for about 20 minutes together. But then he brushes his teeth and we kiss him goodnight and he goes off to bed. He goes to bed between 8:00 and 10:00 p.m. depending on how tired he is and how busy his sports schedule is that week.... We let him decide what his body needs for sleep. It's working out well so far.