Anonymous
Post 10/24/2023 13:12     Subject: Re:When you used to be fat.
Anonymous wrote:It’s weird that anyone would even pay attention to what you are eating. You may be overly defensive about it. I never pay attention to what others are eating when i go out with friends. I doubt people care as much as you think they do.


NP. I live in San Francisco, where everyone is a total foodie. Everyone listens in hushed anticipation when you order - it's fun for them to hear about food. If I go to lunch with a friend on an office day people want to know which restaurant I went to, and then what we ordered, and then they comment "Oh, yeah that plum salad IS really good!"
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2023 13:06     Subject: When you used to be fat.
I never comment about what people are eating. TBH, I would say something or give the stink eye to my DH if he is on his second dessert. These people are your friends? Ask them why they have an interest on what YOU CHOOSE to eat/or not eat? Are they overweight and could be a bit jealous?
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2023 12:13     Subject: When you used to be fat.
You sound a bit over obsessed with food and maybe that's what your friends are picking up on. If once a week or every other week you go out and eat, you won't gain weight if you eat sensibly and then stay good the rest of the time and exercise. Going out once a week didn't make you fat, it was everything else that went along with it.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2023 12:11     Subject: When you used to be fat.
Ive also lost over 100 pounds and kept it off for years. I still drink and indulge at times. Are you making a big deal out of what you are/aren't eating? Its obnoxious when people do this.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2023 11:56     Subject: When you used to be fat.
I've lost over 100 pounds. I never drank more than one drink or ate appetizers/dessert when I was obese and I don't now. So that's probably why my friends don't see it as a change. But I never get comments from friends/family about my orders at restaurants.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2023 11:46     Subject: Re:When you used to be fat.
It’s weird that anyone would even pay attention to what you are eating. You may be overly defensive about it. I never pay attention to what others are eating when i go out with friends. I doubt people care as much as you think they do.
Anonymous
Post 10/24/2023 08:38     Subject: When you used to be fat.
I also lost weight but i do splurge on a restaurant meal here and there. Don't be a drama queen.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2023 23:02     Subject: When you used to be fat.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When I go out with friends, I eat and enjoy myself. If we do appetizers/desserts, I share with someone or just eat half. I never eat anywhere near my full entree. But I don’t not try stuff or skip a course everyone else is having.

For the rest of the day, I will eat very little and stick to fruit and veggies. I usually add in an extra workout either that day or the next.

But I enjoy restaurants and trying new food with friends so it’s all worth it to me.


You did not understand the point of this post.

OP my overweight SIL constantly brings over food to my house and tells me “don’t forget to eat” “I made you dinner” etc. I wonder if it’s some type of subconscious jealousy on her part because I lost about 25 lbs a few years ago and kept it off. I also am careful about food and exercise and she knows that. I try to remember it’s really about her issues with food when she does and says stuff that annoy me.


No, I didn’t. My point is don’t be the annoying friend making a big deal about “being careful” and your friends won’t even notice or say anything. I’ve lost 75 lbs so I know what I’m talking about. Don’t shift your obsession about overeating food to a new obsession with eating very little food. Moderation and balance is the key to keeping the weight off.


I tend to agree with this. OP may not be as lowkey as she is making herself sound. Down 60 pounds after starting Ozempic/Wegovy and not a single other soul knows. I eat a quarter of what I used to and no friend or family member has said much of anything, and we are an extended family that loves to eat, loves to drink, loves to have food-focused gatherings and loves to go out to eat. And are not shy about staying out of people’s business. So how is OP behaving that this is a problem?


I don't think there's enough info here to say that. I'm glad that your family doesn't bug you, but there are definitely people that would act like the OP's friends without prompting.
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2023 22:33     Subject: Re:When you used to be fat.
Anonymous wrote:I think people do understand the struggle - and they want you to cheat when they cheat. It is a female dynamic I have always hated. A lot of women feel like they have to eat at the same “level” as other women. So if they want a dessert, they want you to have one. Worse, there are women who almost make a game out of tricking people into eating more ‘ failing.

It goes the other way also, if you are heavier, you have women commenting on everything you eat.

At some point you either have to just get thick skin and eat what you plan to eat and let the comments bounce off or stick up for yourself. Practice saying “ I am full”, “ I do not want to eat too much”. ‘I will feel sick if I eat that”. And just a good old “no thank you”


Agree with this. Kind of like drinkers who find you boring if you don't drink along with them.

I started going out less with friends because of the tendency for everything to revolve around food and drinks. I was also trying not to spend so often on non-essentials. I work out and I like to see the results of it. Wasting calories on boozy brunches really adds up as we age (I'm 40).
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2023 20:23     Subject: Re:When you used to be fat.
I think people do understand the struggle - and they want you to cheat when they cheat. It is a female dynamic I have always hated. A lot of women feel like they have to eat at the same “level” as other women. So if they want a dessert, they want you to have one. Worse, there are women who almost make a game out of tricking people into eating more ‘ failing.

It goes the other way also, if you are heavier, you have women commenting on everything you eat.

At some point you either have to just get thick skin and eat what you plan to eat and let the comments bounce off or stick up for yourself. Practice saying “ I am full”, “ I do not want to eat too much”. ‘I will feel sick if I eat that”. And just a good old “no thank you”
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2023 17:42     Subject: When you used to be fat.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When I go out with friends, I eat and enjoy myself. If we do appetizers/desserts, I share with someone or just eat half. I never eat anywhere near my full entree. But I don’t not try stuff or skip a course everyone else is having.

For the rest of the day, I will eat very little and stick to fruit and veggies. I usually add in an extra workout either that day or the next.

But I enjoy restaurants and trying new food with friends so it’s all worth it to me.


You did not understand the point of this post.

OP my overweight SIL constantly brings over food to my house and tells me “don’t forget to eat” “I made you dinner” etc. I wonder if it’s some type of subconscious jealousy on her part because I lost about 25 lbs a few years ago and kept it off. I also am careful about food and exercise and she knows that. I try to remember it’s really about her issues with food when she does and says stuff that annoy me.


No, I didn’t. My point is don’t be the annoying friend making a big deal about “being careful” and your friends won’t even notice or say anything. I’ve lost 75 lbs so I know what I’m talking about. Don’t shift your obsession about overeating food to a new obsession with eating very little food. Moderation and balance is the key to keeping the weight off.


I tend to agree with this. OP may not be as lowkey as she is making herself sound. Down 60 pounds after starting Ozempic/Wegovy and not a single other soul knows. I eat a quarter of what I used to and no friend or family member has said much of anything, and we are an extended family that loves to eat, loves to drink, loves to have food-focused gatherings and loves to go out to eat. And are not shy about staying out of people’s business. So how is OP behaving that this is a problem?
Anonymous
Post 10/23/2023 01:07     Subject: When you used to be fat.
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When I go out with friends, I eat and enjoy myself. If we do appetizers/desserts, I share with someone or just eat half. I never eat anywhere near my full entree. But I don’t not try stuff or skip a course everyone else is having.

For the rest of the day, I will eat very little and stick to fruit and veggies. I usually add in an extra workout either that day or the next.

But I enjoy restaurants and trying new food with friends so it’s all worth it to me.


You did not understand the point of this post.

OP my overweight SIL constantly brings over food to my house and tells me “don’t forget to eat” “I made you dinner” etc. I wonder if it’s some type of subconscious jealousy on her part because I lost about 25 lbs a few years ago and kept it off. I also am careful about food and exercise and she knows that. I try to remember it’s really about her issues with food when she does and says stuff that annoy me.


No, I didn’t. My point is don’t be the annoying friend making a big deal about “being careful” and your friends won’t even notice or say anything. I’ve lost 75 lbs so I know what I’m talking about. Don’t shift your obsession about overeating food to a new obsession with eating very little food. Moderation and balance is the key to keeping the weight off.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2023 23:52     Subject: When you used to be fat.
Anonymous wrote:When I go out with friends, I eat and enjoy myself. If we do appetizers/desserts, I share with someone or just eat half. I never eat anywhere near my full entree. But I don’t not try stuff or skip a course everyone else is having.

For the rest of the day, I will eat very little and stick to fruit and veggies. I usually add in an extra workout either that day or the next.

But I enjoy restaurants and trying new food with friends so it’s all worth it to me.


You did not understand the point of this post.

OP my overweight SIL constantly brings over food to my house and tells me “don’t forget to eat” “I made you dinner” etc. I wonder if it’s some type of subconscious jealousy on her part because I lost about 25 lbs a few years ago and kept it off. I also am careful about food and exercise and she knows that. I try to remember it’s really about her issues with food when she does and says stuff that annoy me.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2023 23:37     Subject: When you used to be fat.
When I go out with friends, I eat and enjoy myself. If we do appetizers/desserts, I share with someone or just eat half. I never eat anywhere near my full entree. But I don’t not try stuff or skip a course everyone else is having.

For the rest of the day, I will eat very little and stick to fruit and veggies. I usually add in an extra workout either that day or the next.

But I enjoy restaurants and trying new food with friends so it’s all worth it to me.
Anonymous
Post 10/21/2023 23:07     Subject: When you used to be fat.
Anonymous wrote:This will sound extreme, but make new friends. Go out to eat with your old friends less - invite those friends to do physical things like going for a walk, going to a rock climbing gym, drop in dance class, yoga, free swim, etc.


This. Some people have really ingrained ways about thinking/talking about food and are unable to be supportive. I had to fade out of in-person activities with them.

Also, I love how well OP illustrates that obesity is a chronic disease. It's not a temporary thing that you "fix."