Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is SO much teeth-gnashing on this board about if it’s “worth it.” It’s honestly only worth it if it isn’t a major sacrifice for you. If you’re entering the application process already stressed about what you’re going to get for the money, and especially if what you want to “get” is anything more than a solid education for your child, you’re going to end up disappointed.

I agree with this. The unspoken truth is that a lot of kids in these schools have private tutors to get an edge, have legacy to depend on for college admissions, etc. It's only worth it for truly wealthy families and scholarship kids who go on a full ride.

My personal advice for upper-middle class families that struggle for the tuition, is just to send your kid to public and pay for tutors in every subject. It will be much cheaper per year, and your kid will likely learn more from 1-on-1 tutoring vs private School. Bloom's two-sigma study shows that 1-on-1 tutoring is extremely effective.

Instead of paying $50k in tuition, you could spend half of that for an elite college admissions private consultant. They would make your kid 10x better applicant than anyone coming from a public school, and give you the inside track to a top college.

We have a seven figure income and can afford private. We just switched one kid to private and there are definite positives but I am not sure if it is worth the extra commute and all the complaining from my son about wearing a tie everyday. Tuition is a non factor for us.

We live in a well regarded public. I don’t think private would give my kid a college admissions boost. He isn’t ivy material and he should be able to get into the same colleges from public.

You are unusually self-aware for this forum! I have 3 in private. They are all straight A students and I actively discourage ivy schools for them. They can achieve their goals with a solid public state school. I think the pressure in the Ivies will do more harm than good for them. They are naturally tightly wound and a bit anxious. I'm definitely in the minority at Big 3..

What? It’s not like state schools are completely low stress compared to Ivies. I was pre med at UVA and there is plenty of competition and striver types there too.

Yes, my children are those types and will be there too. My point is the environment and entire population as a whole is not pressure cooker and competition - ivies are by nature. There is plenty of respite when it's needed at publics; this is healthy too. Even applying to college from Big 3, like we are doing, is pressured top to bottom of the class....not the case with publics.

Anonymous wrote:I often wonder if the people who are extremely strong public school advocates have any experience with privates. ...even if they SAY they've tried it their answers are often unbalanced and they seem very black and white. I mean, I can SAY anything on an anonymous forum; doesn't mean its true.

You can choose to discredit all opinions that are not your own, PP. Many people do this. I don't think it's the way to go, personally, and when I read opposing viewpoints on this thread, I believe the posters are sincere and genuine.

I happen to have a lot of experience with privates, and I'm happy that my kids will graduate from public schools.

I often wonder if the people who are extremely strong public school advocates have any experience with privates. ...even if they SAY they've tried it their answers are often unbalanced and they seem very black and white. I mean, I can SAY anything on an anonymous forum; doesn't mean its true.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is SO much teeth-gnashing on this board about if it’s “worth it.” It’s honestly only worth it if it isn’t a major sacrifice for you. If you’re entering the application process already stressed about what you’re going to get for the money, and especially if what you want to “get” is anything more than a solid education for your child, you’re going to end up disappointed.

I agree with this. The unspoken truth is that a lot of kids in these schools have private tutors to get an edge, have legacy to depend on for college admissions, etc. It's only worth it for truly wealthy families and scholarship kids who go on a full ride.

My personal advice for upper-middle class families that struggle for the tuition, is just to send your kid to public and pay for tutors in every subject. It will be much cheaper per year, and your kid will likely learn more from 1-on-1 tutoring vs private School. Bloom's two-sigma study shows that 1-on-1 tutoring is extremely effective.

Instead of paying $50k in tuition, you could spend half of that for an elite college admissions private consultant. They would make your kid 10x better applicant than anyone coming from a public school, and give you the inside track to a top college.

We have a seven figure income and can afford private. We just switched one kid to private and there are definite positives but I am not sure if it is worth the extra commute and all the complaining from my son about wearing a tie everyday. Tuition is a non factor for us.

We live in a well regarded public. I don’t think private would give my kid a college admissions boost. He isn’t ivy material and he should be able to get into the same colleges from public.

You are unusually self-aware for this forum! I have 3 in private. They are all straight A students and I actively discourage ivy schools for them. They can achieve their goals with a solid public state school. I think the pressure in the Ivies will do more harm than good for them. They are naturally tightly wound and a bit anxious. I'm definitely in the minority at Big 3..

What? It’s not like state schools are completely low stress compared to Ivies. I was pre med at UVA and there is plenty of competition and striver types there too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My personal advice for upper-middle class families that struggle for the tuition, is just to send your kid to public and pay for tutors in every subject. It will be much cheaper per year, and your kid will likely learn more from 1-on-1 tutoring vs private School.

...if you assume the opportunity cost of time is zero.

Exactly. We can’t homeschool and it’s isolating anyways. Wasting 7 hours being baby sat in our public bored out of their mind, and real learning only begins at 4pm — and no time for travel sports or clubs, which are the minimum if you want a chance in college admittance

Anonymous wrote:
I entirely agree, OP.

Having gone through the college admissions process last year, and seen kids in public and private apply and get in, I see that outcomes are the same.

And if you want private for another reason, well, it better be a really, really, good one. I kept my ADHD/ASD kid in public and he was well-served with an IEP and its associated services and accommodations. I have another kid who is gifted, and we requested all sorts of advanced tracks for her. This wasn't easy to navigate, but it was cheaper than private, and it means we still have enough for our personal lives, expensive tutoring, extra-curriculars, and college. My friends' kids in private are still spending that much outside of their schools, because it's not like private school kids don't need tutors and ECs! For all kids, the demands of getting them where they should be are always going to be on the parents, not the school.

So for most people, I don't think private is worth it if you can't write the check without blinking.

My pirivate school child has never had a tutor.

There are far more middle class students at these expensive privates than there are genuinely low-income students on full aid, and middle class families DO move to get into better publics.

So we ARE talking about families with decent publics who choose to significantly dent their lifestyle and/or savings for privates. I know multiple families like this: the common denominator for all these parents is that "grass is always greener", and they crystallize all the little disappointments they feel about their kids' development and school experience into this idea that if only they go to X School, everything will be fixed. And then everything doesn't get fixed, but they rationalize their choice to themselves and convince themselves that it would never have worked at the previous school. We all do this when making important choices, BTW, this is not a criticism! It's an observation.

I live in a nice area close to DC where families are evenly split on public vs private attendance. The public schools are great. Two things I've noticed:
1. Kids with ADHD (and other not-too-severe issues) are often placed in private settings before parents realize that the public wasn't the problem, it was their kid who needed a neuropsychological evaluation and treatment. My kid with high-functioning autism was evaluated, given services and stayed in public.
2. Movement to private during virtual learning in public. For older teens, it made sense to pluck struggling ones out of public and let them finish their high school education in private. But parents with younger kids who did this are now in it for years of tuition payments, to fix a very temporary problem.

I'm a product of private schools (never went to public), and when I lived abroad, I placed my kids in international private schools. I'm not an enemy of privates, not at all! But I want to build generational wealth, and it's disconcerting to see friends and acquaintances spend their hard-earned money on privates, when their kids would do just as well in their decent neighborhood public, and they could invest their dollars to hoist themselves out of the middle class.

^ 07:55 again. Safety would be one of these very, very good reasons, obviously. Many middle class families who can afford it move to better publics rather than pay for privates, since the move benefits the whole family and real estate is an investment. This is what we did. I suppose that if you are so poor that you cannot afford to rent somewhere safe and decent, and your kid gets financial aid at a really good private...OK. But then you have to deal with extreme socio-economic differences at school.

Anonymous wrote:This posts assumes that people are deciding between a decent public school and a private. Not everyone has that kind of choice, and moving isn't always an option either.

This.

We can barely afford it but feel it’s worth every penny. Our kids are Ivy material and neither were we. We didn’t choose private with the hope they’d get into better colleges. We chose to for the overall experience and wouldn’t change a thing.

I entirely agree, OP.

Having gone through the college admissions process last year, and seen kids in public and private apply and get in, I see that outcomes are the same.

And if you want private for another reason, well, it better be a really, really, good one. I kept my ADHD/ASD kid in public and he was well-served with an IEP and its associated services and accommodations. I have another kid who is gifted, and we requested all sorts of advanced tracks for her. This wasn't easy to navigate, but it was cheaper than private, and it means we still have enough for our personal lives, expensive tutoring, extra-curriculars, and college. My friends' kids in private are still spending that much outside of their schools, because it's not like private school kids don't need tutors and ECs! For all kids, the demands of getting them where they should be are always going to be on the parents, not the school.

So for most people, I don't think private is worth it if you can't write the check without blinking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s worth every penny if you live in DC.

+1. Especially if you live outside the Deal/JR zone.

this is us. yes its a stretch, but like another PP said and to paraphrase, DS was getting overlooked in the crowded DCPS classroom. Was having not so great attention seeking behaviors just to get attention. He's been very engaged since we switched him to private and they work with him on SEL, unlike the DCPS, which just did not have enough resources/bandwith to appropriately handle all the children. At DCPS, he was one of 27, with 1 teacher and 1 aide. at our private, he is 1 of 14 with 2 teachers in the classroom. night and day.

its not about getting him into an Ivy. Its about getting him the best education possible to make him a full person. Both DH and i work hectic and stressful jobs. I dont have the bandwidth to coordinate private tutors and do all the oversight that sending him to public would require. What i pay in money, i get back in time and the peace of mind that my son is getting a good education.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is SO much teeth-gnashing on this board about if it’s “worth it.” It’s honestly only worth it if it isn’t a major sacrifice for you. If you’re entering the application process already stressed about what you’re going to get for the money, and especially if what you want to “get” is anything more than a solid education for your child, you’re going to end up disappointed.

I agree with this. The unspoken truth is that a lot of kids in these schools have private tutors to get an edge, have legacy to depend on for college admissions, etc. It's only worth it for truly wealthy families and scholarship kids who go on a full ride.

My personal advice for upper-middle class families that struggle for the tuition, is just to send your kid to public and pay for tutors in every subject. It will be much cheaper per year, and your kid will likely learn more from 1-on-1 tutoring vs private School. Bloom's two-sigma study shows that 1-on-1 tutoring is extremely effective.

Instead of paying $50k in tuition, you could spend half of that for an elite college admissions private consultant. They would make your kid 10x better applicant than anyone coming from a public school, and give you the inside track to a top college.

We have a seven figure income and can afford private. We just switched one kid to private and there are definite positives but I am not sure if it is worth the extra commute and all the complaining from my son about wearing a tie everyday. Tuition is a non factor for us.

We live in a well regarded public. I don’t think private would give my kid a college admissions boost. He isn’t ivy material and he should be able to get into the same colleges from public.

You are unusually self-aware for this forum! I have 3 in private. They are all straight A students and I actively discourage ivy schools for them. They can achieve their goals with a solid public state school. I think the pressure in the Ivies will do more harm than good for them. They are naturally tightly wound and a bit anxious. I'm definitely in the minority at Big 3..

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is SO much teeth-gnashing on this board about if it’s “worth it.” It’s honestly only worth it if it isn’t a major sacrifice for you. If you’re entering the application process already stressed about what you’re going to get for the money, and especially if what you want to “get” is anything more than a solid education for your child, you’re going to end up disappointed.

I agree with this. The unspoken truth is that a lot of kids in these schools have private tutors to get an edge, have legacy to depend on for college admissions, etc. It's only worth it for truly wealthy families and scholarship kids who go on a full ride.

My personal advice for upper-middle class families that struggle for the tuition, is just to send your kid to public and pay for tutors in every subject. It will be much cheaper per year, and your kid will likely learn more from 1-on-1 tutoring vs private School. Bloom's two-sigma study shows that 1-on-1 tutoring is extremely effective.

Instead of paying $50k in tuition, you could spend half of that for an elite college admissions private consultant. They would make your kid 10x better applicant than anyone coming from a public school, and give you the inside track to a top college.

When you look at private like this you are missing why so many people actually choose private. It's not always about getting into the best college. It's about providing the best environment for your child. Not all children will do well in large public school classrooms. Not everyone can afford to buy a house in a top school district.

I just posted that we switched our kid from public to private. Our child has told us that there are some good teachers but others that are worse than the public school. As a parent, I love how included we are and all the information we receive from the school. We have already had multiple conferences, parent day, parent coffees, lunches, receptions, etc.

Our public had many extremely smart students. I’m not sure the private kids are stronger students. I do like the smaller class sizes and personalized attention.

This is what makes private worth it. Public schools have a ton of priorities, and you and your DC are not one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is SO much teeth-gnashing on this board about if it’s “worth it.” It’s honestly only worth it if it isn’t a major sacrifice for you. If you’re entering the application process already stressed about what you’re going to get for the money, and especially if what you want to “get” is anything more than a solid education for your child, you’re going to end up disappointed.

I agree with this. The unspoken truth is that a lot of kids in these schools have private tutors to get an edge, have legacy to depend on for college admissions, etc. It's only worth it for truly wealthy families and scholarship kids who go on a full ride.

My personal advice for upper-middle class families that struggle for the tuition, is just to send your kid to public and pay for tutors in every subject. It will be much cheaper per year, and your kid will likely learn more from 1-on-1 tutoring vs private School. Bloom's two-sigma study shows that 1-on-1 tutoring is extremely effective.

Instead of paying $50k in tuition, you could spend half of that for an elite college admissions private consultant. They would make your kid 10x better applicant than anyone coming from a public school, and give you the inside track to a top college.

I agree, somewhat. Just doing private tutors for the education part is ok, but it comes at a cost - time. There is a trade off when there is only 24 hours in a day. An education is more than just academics. It's also social, emotional, and physical. I do agree if it is a stretch financially, one will be disappointed. Spend the money on experiences and travel. It's far more bonding, educational, and rewarding.