Anonymous
10/19/2023 21:43
Subject: Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband
No, but he had to kind of decide he wasn't bothered when we started dating. I could tell it was on the edge of being a thing for him, and then he let it go.
Anonymous
10/19/2023 21:37
Subject: Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband
My DW makes more despite my many efforts to escape my GS15 job nothing pays better for my role.
I do a lot around the house but I know she wishes she could quit, but she doesn’t want to shift to a GS15 lifestyle.
The worst is I’m a very involved parent, but after trying to be the “play date” dad and “room parent “ dad, realize it has to be the mom, because it’s 99% of the time the moms and being the dad makes it hard for our kids.
I do a lot around the house but I know she wishes she could quit, but she doesn’t want to shift to a GS15 lifestyle.
The worst is I’m a very involved parent, but after trying to be the “play date” dad and “room parent “ dad, realize it has to be the mom, because it’s 99% of the time the moms and being the dad makes it hard for our kids.
Anonymous
10/19/2023 21:33
Subject: Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband
I do and I want to work less and be the default parent, so it bothers me.
Anonymous
10/19/2023 21:33
Subject: Re:Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband
I make more and it bothers him.
Anonymous
10/19/2023 21:32
Subject: Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband
Anonymous wrote:I make more than DH’s military pension and federal salary combined, yet I still do 60/70% around the house.
Same.
Anonymous
10/19/2023 21:32
Subject: Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband
I do, and it doesn’t bother us. I earn ~1.5x his salary but he carries our health insurance. His job is also more flexible than mine, but we do both have pretty good work-life balance, which I’m grateful for.
Anonymous
10/19/2023 21:30
Subject: Re:Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband
Anonymous wrote:I earn 3x what my DH does and it doesn't bother either of us.
It does bother me, however, that I earn more, have more stress tha he does, and work more hours but am still the default parent. That bothers me a lot.
+1. However, for us it got a lot better during covid - not sure why, if it was shifting focus to the household because we were all there, or because DH got a WFH job after 2020, or what. But things around the house have been more equal since then. I am still the default for school, activities, playdates.
Anonymous
10/19/2023 21:26
Subject: Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband
Yes I do. Doesn’t bother me or him.
Anonymous
10/19/2023 21:21
Subject: Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband
Yeah I earn a ton but he also earns six figures and it wasn’t always this way. Doesn’t bother either of us!
Anonymous
10/19/2023 21:19
Subject: Re:Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband
I earn about 6x what DH earns. I don’t think it bothers him. I secretly wish I could work less…
Anonymous
10/19/2023 20:51
Subject: Re:Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband
I earn 3x what my DH does and it doesn't bother either of us.
It does bother me, however, that I earn more, have more stress tha he does, and work more hours but am still the default parent. That bothers me a lot.
It does bother me, however, that I earn more, have more stress tha he does, and work more hours but am still the default parent. That bothers me a lot.
Anonymous
10/19/2023 20:48
Subject: Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband
Anonymous wrote:I make more than DH’s military pension and federal salary combined, yet I still do 60/70% around the house.
You’re not alone.
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/04/13/in-a-growing-share-of-u-s-marriages-husbands-and-wives-earn-about-the-same/
Anonymous
10/19/2023 20:37
Subject: Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband
I make more than DH’s military pension and federal salary combined, yet I still do 60/70% around the house.
Anonymous
10/19/2023 20:31
Subject: Re:Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband
I am sole earner - DH is SAHD. That may change soon, though it’s still nice to have a parent around when kids are teens.
Anonymous
10/19/2023 20:19
Subject: Re:Raise your hand if you're a woman who out-earns her husband
I did for a few years and it didn’t bother him as it gave him the opportunity to find his dream opportunity. Making more or less has never been an issue in our marriage as it alls goes into the same pot and the pot has gotten a lot bigger.