Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 16:55     Subject: Dating a sweet kind loser
Stacy is that you?!
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 16:46     Subject: Dating a sweet kind loser
Anonymous wrote:He has a kid, a house, a PhD. What do you have op? Nothing? But he's the problem? Lol πŸ˜‚


Exactly. What do you bring to the table, OP? Let's see it.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 16:45     Subject: Dating a sweet kind loser
He has a kid, a house, a PhD. What do you have op? Nothing? But he's the problem? Lol πŸ˜‚
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 16:44     Subject: Re:Dating a sweet kind loser
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If he's taken a job that pays little because it doesn't require any education and can't find a job that uses his skills, then "loser" is cruel but not inaccurate, in a sense.

If he's doing something he loves or finds important and is willing to accept a lower salary, then you're the loser.


For all we know he could be curing cancer (literally) but you all would rather have a new purse and an expensive education. God, how do any of you manage to have a relationship.


*vacation, not education. Clearly you are too dumb for that.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 16:44     Subject: Re:Dating a sweet kind loser
OMG. My husband is like this guy (PhD, low earning but meaningful position in his field, lives within his means, we keep entertainment cheap) and I would never describe him as a loser. Free him to find someone who actually appreciates him.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 16:44     Subject: Dating a sweet kind loser
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Invisible disabilities, like autism.
Makes it hard to adult.


Yes. I know people like this, OP. There is usually severe ADHD, anxiety or autism in the mix You don't see it now, but it's there. This man has a high enough IQ and enough work ethic to get to PhD level, but it doesn't follow that he can function in the real world.

If you have enough money for the both of you, you can make it work! But if want a partner with more income, then maybe he's not the one for you.

(Also, maybe he or his family have assets. Not the same thing as income.)



You are disgusting.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 16:43     Subject: Re:Dating a sweet kind loser
Anonymous wrote:If he's taken a job that pays little because it doesn't require any education and can't find a job that uses his skills, then "loser" is cruel but not inaccurate, in a sense.

If he's doing something he loves or finds important and is willing to accept a lower salary, then you're the loser.


For all we know he could be curing cancer (literally) but you all would rather have a new purse and an expensive education. God, how do any of you manage to have a relationship.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 16:42     Subject: Dating a sweet kind loser
Anonymous wrote:Invisible disabilities, like autism.
Makes it hard to adult.


How is owning a house and living within his means is not adulting?

Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 16:41     Subject: Dating a sweet kind loser
Anonymous wrote:Invisible disabilities, like autism.
Makes it hard to adult.


WHATTTT THE F?? By all accounts he is successful. Has a house he owns, has a PhD, and is super sweet (meaning a good person) but because he isn't a millionaire, he must be autistis and therefore undatable. YOU ARE A MORON OF GIANT PROPORTIONS.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 16:41     Subject: Dating a sweet kind loser
Anonymous wrote:Invisible disabilities, like autism.
Makes it hard to adult.


Yes. I know people like this, OP. There is usually severe ADHD, anxiety or autism in the mix You don't see it now, but it's there. This man has a high enough IQ and enough work ethic to get to PhD level, but it doesn't follow that he can function in the real world.

If you have enough money for the both of you, you can make it work! But if want a partner with more income, then maybe he's not the one for you.

(Also, maybe he or his family have assets. Not the same thing as income.)

Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 16:38     Subject: Dating a sweet kind loser
Dump him.

He can do so much better than you.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 16:37     Subject: Re:Dating a sweet kind loser
If OP is spending so much of her money going out and traveling (and presumably on the "right" outfits, hair, etc...), it's very possible that the boyfriend might end up with a bigger nest egg in the end. Slow and steady often wins the race.

Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 16:36     Subject: Dating a sweet kind loser
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is really difficult. He is so kind and sweet but despite a PhD has barely gotten anywhere in life at age 50. Is very sympathetic with the downtrodden and has not succeeded materially at all. I respect that he lives within his means (has a housemate whose rent subsidizes his very low mortgage) but am tired of splitting the bill, treating and staying in. I feel so guilty bc he’s really nice but it hard to imagine living this way now.


Do, do him a kindness and dump him so he can find someone who isn't a total loser.


All the ladies love guys in their 50s with roommates.


She could be his roommate. Although I imagine she wants to be taken care of financially. Which is gross.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 16:36     Subject: Dating a sweet kind loser
You aren't compatible. Which is fine. Move on.
Anonymous
Post 10/18/2023 16:35     Subject: Dating a sweet kind loser
I do not need to even read your post to say with confidence that you should break up with this person, for his sake. No one deserves to be called a "loser" by their SO, even on an anonymous message board. He can do better.