Anonymous wrote:I am hoping for feedback on how to navigate the dating app world, and connecting with multiple people. I know there are so many options now on these apps, and people chat and connect with many people at the same time. How do you keep my cool when you like someone, but you know they are connecting with others? I am doing the same. We all need to figure out our comfort zones.

Anonymous wrote:Dating is weird now. I am an attractive lady/married once/ kid. I went on three dates with a guy. We split all three bills. At some point, it just didn’t feel romantic. I would have liked him to be more generous and not transactional. Obviously there were other issues but it did not help that it didn’t feel like a romancing date-

I actually made more money than he did (and my net wealth is a lot more) so it’s not like I needed him to foot the bill. Still… nonetheless, felt like he could have planned the date and or picked up the tab. I did both- all times. At some point, I like relaxing and it being alpha all of the time.

Anonymous wrote:A lot of women and men have large debts post divorce.

I remember being shocked when the socially prominent lawyer in town, considered to be a catch, told me he had over $100,000 on credit cards post divorce.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dating is weird now. I am an attractive lady/married once/ kid. I went on three dates with a guy. We split all three bills. At some point, it just didn’t feel romantic. I would have liked him to be more generous and not transactional. Obviously there were other issues but it did not help that it didn’t feel like a romancing date-

I actually made more money than he did (and my net wealth is a lot more) so it’s not like I needed him to foot the bill. Still… nonetheless, felt like he could have planned the date and or picked up the tab. I did both- all times. At some point, I like relaxing and it being alpha all of the time.

I tell the man that he plans the date. You can learn a lot this way.

Anonymous wrote:Dating is weird now. I am an attractive lady/married once/ kid. I went on three dates with a guy. We split all three bills. At some point, it just didn’t feel romantic. I would have liked him to be more generous and not transactional. Obviously there were other issues but it did not help that it didn’t feel like a romancing date-

I actually made more money than he did (and my net wealth is a lot more) so it’s not like I needed him to foot the bill. Still… nonetheless, felt like he could have planned the date and or picked up the tab. I did both- all times. At some point, I like relaxing and it being alpha all of the time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am hoping for feedback on how to navigate the dating app world, and connecting with multiple people. I know there are so many options now on these apps, and people chat and connect with many people at the same time. How do you keep my cool when you like someone, but you know they are connecting with others? I am doing the same. We all need to figure out our comfort zones.

1. Bumble. Women message first so it culls the number of messages to filter through.

2. It’s okay to go deeper with someone and meet them first. I had a hard time being actually interested in someone and trying to maintain side chats. So meet asap and then figure out if they’re worth seeing again. If not, then move down the list.

3. If you’re looking for a relationship and not playing games, say it! Other people at that level will also say so. When I asked my current partner what he was looking for, he said “ideally a life partner” but he knew he couldn’t find one immediately. Others will say casual, hookup, etc.

+100

I used Bumble, would pick a few to chat with, and pause it to focus. If any worked out, I’d see it out. I am divorced and not in a rush for marriage and babies. First dates I let the guy pay but I intentionally kept them simple and short and casual - walk, drink, coffee. I vetted thoroughly and didn’t kiss or hookup first dates.

So in other words you're a time waster and a professional dater.

I am like the prior poster but I'm male. I think her approach is typical but some women have been turned off by it when I do it. I may have missed out on a promising relationship or two because a few women didn't like the fact that I was having coffee dates with multiple women.

Unfortunately, the alternative is also bad. Most women I meet are meeting multiple men, even when they imply they're not, and most first dates lead to nothing beyond a nice conversation. I've also found it really hard to predict who would have physical and emotional chemistry with me. So I will probably continue to meet multiple women.

I've become a much less trusting person since I started online dating. A lot of women make it very hard to know whether I'm the main target or just a backup plan. After a few really tough disappointments, i sometimes act the same way.