When she turns off life360 because it “wears down the battery”, doesn’t answer her phone but has nothing on her calendar. Then when she gets home and is nicely dressed and you ask “what have you been up to today” and she stares at you and says just doing errands but her hands are empty you do begin to wonder.

Anonymous wrote:Another sign that your wife is having an affair is when you open the bedroom door, she's in bed naked with another adult.

Better an adult than a child or livestock. Just sayin'.

Another sign that your wife is having an affair is when you open the bedroom door, she's in bed naked with another adult.

Anonymous wrote:Ask her first and then tell her you would approve of her having a paramour if she were honest and upfront. Then ask if you can have a girlfriend on the side.

This is all well and good but if this dynamic starts don't assume you'll stay married for long.

Ask her first and then tell her you would approve of her having a paramour if she were honest and upfront. Then ask if you can have a girlfriend on the side.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are in Virginia, spend the money on a PI to bust her. It'll pay off during the settlement.

Ask me how I know.

*Don't hack* anything or jailbreak her phone or anything.

What about DC or Maryland?

I don't think it matter as much in those jurisdictions.

In Virginia, adultery is a crime, a misdemeanor. If your wife is a SAHM and has no income and she commits adultery *and you can prove it* (which involves extensive documentation by a PI, including photographic evidence), you can file for at-fault and avoid alimony. It can also affect distribution of assets (i.e. it won't be 50/50). It doesn't affect custody or anything, however.

Obviously if you're similar incomes, it's moot.


But my PI cost me about $15,000 and probably saved me in the neighborhood of about $300,000 in alimony.

I was thinking more in terms of just peace of mind it is good to know for sure what is happening.

How much an hour did the PI charge? What is the most efficient way to use a PI?

It's very much like a lawyer. They'll want a retainer and it's like $400/hour. There's a lot of sitting around doing nothing, waiting to get photos while they boink, that sort of thing. You'll pay mileage, too.

Oh and if you got his route, they'll bill you via your attorney so that the findings are privileged.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are in Virginia, spend the money on a PI to bust her. It'll pay off during the settlement.

Ask me how I know.

*Don't hack* anything or jailbreak her phone or anything.

What about DC or Maryland?

I don't think it matter as much in those jurisdictions.

In Virginia, adultery is a crime, a misdemeanor. If your wife is a SAHM and has no income and she commits adultery *and you can prove it* (which involves extensive documentation by a PI, including photographic evidence), you can file for at-fault and avoid alimony. It can also affect distribution of assets (i.e. it won't be 50/50). It doesn't affect custody or anything, however.

Obviously if you're similar incomes, it's moot.


But my PI cost me about $15,000 and probably saved me in the neighborhood of about $300,000 in alimony.

I was thinking more in terms of just peace of mind it is good to know for sure what is happening.

How much an hour did the PI charge? What is the most efficient way to use a PI?

It's very much like a lawyer. They'll want a retainer and it's like $400/hour. There's a lot of sitting around doing nothing, waiting to get photos while they boink, that sort of thing. You'll pay mileage, too.

Anonymous wrote:Starts working out more, buying new clothes generally putting more effort into her appearance (maybe a new haircut, wears perfume more, new underwear)

Showers shortly after getting home

Is more defensive or short with you over really mundane things

Hiding or guarding her phone

All these. Generally distant. Starts going out more.

Anonymous wrote:Be a big boy and ask your wife if she’s having an affair.

If it was a woman asking, your response would've completely different misandrist.

Mine accused me of doing everything she was doing, hearing things like “I can tell you’re in love with someone else” out of nowhere.

I was a little too dense to understand what was happening and I just chalked it up to one of her various neuroses.

Accusations out of nowhere of infidelity.
Guarding the phone.
Anxious and jittery for no apparent reason.
Refusing to engage in conversation on any meaningful level beyond logistics.
Physical affection ramped up over the norm or greatly reduced. Mine would go from insatiable one day to flinching if I touched her the following.
Refusing to talk about any future plans.

People are different but human beings under duress are pretty predictable and follow very similar patterns, living a double life, covering tracks and laying out thousands of lies takes its toll on anyone who isn’t a complete sociopath.
check out surviving infidelity, the forum there is thousands of posts of nearly identical stories.

Anonymous wrote:Is she suddenly starting fights with you to make you the bad guy? If so, she's looking for a way to justify an affair and/or push you to be the bad guy.

In addition to the new clothes, diet, working out, going out more clues.

Yep, villanizing the spouse as a sick way for their tiny bird brains to justify the affair is so common

Is she suddenly starting fights with you to make you the bad guy? If so, she's looking for a way to justify an affair and/or push you to be the bad guy.

In addition to the new clothes, diet, working out, going out more clues.

^^ this is what I learned today. I'ts always something on DCUM!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are in Virginia, spend the money on a PI to bust her. It'll pay off during the settlement.

Ask me how I know.

*Don't hack* anything or jailbreak her phone or anything.

What about DC or Maryland?

I don't think it matter as much in those jurisdictions.

In Virginia, adultery is a crime, a misdemeanor. If your wife is a SAHM and has no income and she commits adultery *and you can prove it* (which involves extensive documentation by a PI, including photographic evidence), you can file for at-fault and avoid alimony. It can also affect distribution of assets (i.e. it won't be 50/50). It doesn't affect custody or anything, however.

Obviously if you're similar incomes, it's moot.


But my PI cost me about $15,000 and probably saved me in the neighborhood of about $300,000 in alimony.

I was thinking more in terms of just peace of mind it is good to know for sure what is happening.

How much an hour did the PI charge? What is the most efficient way to use a PI?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are in Virginia, spend the money on a PI to bust her. It'll pay off during the settlement.

Ask me how I know.

*Don't hack* anything or jailbreak her phone or anything.

What about DC or Maryland?

I don't think it matter as much in those jurisdictions.

In Virginia, adultery is a crime, a misdemeanor. If your wife is a SAHM and has no income and she commits adultery *and you can prove it* (which involves extensive documentation by a PI, including photographic evidence), you can file for at-fault and avoid alimony. It can also affect distribution of assets (i.e. it won't be 50/50). It doesn't affect custody or anything, however.

Obviously if you're similar incomes, it's moot.

But my PI cost me about $15,000 and probably saved me in the neighborhood of about $300,000 in alimony.