Anonymous
10/15/2023 23:19
Subject: Re:Are there any downsides to having two last names?
Anonymous wrote:There is no need to have same name as your kids. Not an issue.
+1 People often post that it will be an issue. My kid is 21. Still waiting for it to be an issue.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 23:07
Subject: Are there any downsides to having two last names?
Anonymous wrote:I think double last names are annoying and unnecessary. Just pick one or the other and be done with it. You won’t be doing your future kids any favors by giving them a complicated double last name. It’s something that doesn’t age well IMO.
Most of Latin America and Spain disagree with you.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 23:05
Subject: Are there any downsides to having two last names?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I hyphenated for the "future" (now current) kids and I shouldn't have. I don't see the value in having the same name, especially now that so many women are keeping their names. But at work people stumble over what to call me, since I introduce myself as Smith but Smith-Jones appears on everything legally. I've gotten locked out of websites trying to login because sometimes it's in the system as Smith-Jones, or Smithjones, or Smith Jones, or Smith, or Jones, depending on how someone initially entered it. People we meet assume and call me Jones even though I hate going by Jones. Especially without the hyphen, people will leave out the Smith.
In the grand scheme of life it's a minor annoyance, but it's definitely an annoyance that comes up all the time.
This is the downside. You can certainly do this, but you will constantly be correcting things or running into logistical challenges. Not insurmountable, but annoying.
Also dated. No one hyphenates anymore
Anonymous
10/15/2023 23:02
Subject: Are there any downsides to having two last names?
I work for a school district and it’s always a pain when you try to look the kid up by Jones and he is Smith Jones.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 22:54
Subject: Re:Are there any downsides to having two last names?
I'm not the first to say this but the downside is that people won't use both. They will treat the the first like a middle name. I know because I did it.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 22:52
Subject: Are there any downsides to having two last names?
When my uncle died my aunt had a whole ordeal with the last name when she went to collect his benefits because she had different names/variations on different documents. So just make sure it all says the same thing.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 22:47
Subject: Are there any downsides to having two last names?
Anonymous wrote:The easy solution is to keep your name and use your husband’s last name socially. Give your kids your surname as a middle name so they’re connected to both your names.
I kind of hate how when women get married it’s a bureaucratic nightmare to replace every document and change emails and business cards. It feels very medieval.
Yup. I did this (changed my last name, use a space not a hyphen). If I could do it again I'd keep my name legally and just change it on Facebook.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 22:42
Subject: Are there any downsides to having two last names?
I grew up in NYC with a hyphenated surname and when I was a child it seemed like 20% of kids had hyphenated names. So it didn't really matter.
Then I became an adult and it was very annoying. I legally dropped one of my names.
Then I became an adult and it was very annoying. I legally dropped one of my names.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 22:35
Subject: Are there any downsides to having two last names?
Anonymous wrote:I am getting married soon. I plan to still use my last name professionally, but do want to have the same last name as my future kids and see the value in 'changing' my name from a family perspective. I don't like hyphenated last names, so plan to make my legal name "Larla Marie Smith Jones" (Smith being my maiden name, Jones being my husband's name). On anything I need to write a first / last name on, I'd be "Larla Smith Jones". I don't want to make my middle name my maiden name since my current middle name is a family name / a name I'd want to pass down to my own daughter someday.
Curious if anyone else has done this and if there are any inconveniences I should be aware of.
Keep your name and give it to your children.
Statistically, it's quite likely that you'll end up divorced from your spouse and your children will be living primarily with you.
He can keep his name professionally and change his socially for the sake of sharing a name with your kids.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 22:32
Subject: Are there any downsides to having two last names?
Anonymous wrote:I hyphenated for the "future" (now current) kids and I shouldn't have. I don't see the value in having the same name, especially now that so many women are keeping their names. But at work people stumble over what to call me, since I introduce myself as Smith but Smith-Jones appears on everything legally. I've gotten locked out of websites trying to login because sometimes it's in the system as Smith-Jones, or Smithjones, or Smith Jones, or Smith, or Jones, depending on how someone initially entered it. People we meet assume and call me Jones even though I hate going by Jones. Especially without the hyphen, people will leave out the Smith.
In the grand scheme of life it's a minor annoyance, but it's definitely an annoyance that comes up all the time.
This is the downside. You can certainly do this, but you will constantly be correcting things or running into logistical challenges. Not insurmountable, but annoying.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 22:30
Subject: Re:Are there any downsides to having two last names?
Anonymous wrote:I did this OP and am happy with it. BUT- don’t expect many other people, professionally or socially, to go to the trouble of noting your two last names.
Most people will refer to you as Larla Jones.
+1
My coworker recently got married and she has 3 last names now (Larla Smith Adas Jones).
Although her email sign off has the full name, everyone just refers to her as Larla Jones. No one cares.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 22:24
Subject: Are there any downsides to having two last names?
Hyphenating just the kids? Then, adults have different names than one another and different last names than the kids. So, only the kids would have the same last name?
Anonymous
10/15/2023 22:22
Subject: Are there any downsides to having two last names?
We sort of did this for our kids since it's common in my spouses heritage to have both the mom's and the dad's last name, no hyphen. It is a pain on some forms.
I say "sort of" because technically under the SSA they have two middle names rather then two last names.
I say "sort of" because technically under the SSA they have two middle names rather then two last names.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 22:21
Subject: Re:Are there any downsides to having two last names?
There is no need to have same name as your kids. Not an issue.
Anonymous
10/15/2023 22:20
Subject: Re:Are there any downsides to having two last names?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I did this OP and am happy with it. BUT- don’t expect many other people, professionally or socially, to go to the trouble of noting your two last names.
Most people will refer to you as Larla Jones.
honestly, that's fine with me (my work email will still be "Larla Smith", as will my linkedin.) I really just want my current last name, to still be my last name in some capacity.
22:01 again. Don’t do that; it will confuse people because they won’t know you changed your name at all. . Make your linked in and email signature Larla Smith Jones. When they put Larla Jones on your name tag or whatever, correct it if you feel like it or just let it go.
Or you could just keep your name as is legally but socially be fine about being the Smith/Jones family.