We had a similar experience last year which was frustrating. And frequently the team would get down say 5-1 so my kid would come in at striker the last few minutes of the game and often wind up scoring a goal during his very limited opportunity... yet week after week the pattern continued and he'd play second fiddle. There were some friendly parents, but some were hypercompetitive (and just like 1 inch beneath the veneer of pleasantries). That seemed to translate to a bit of a toxic environment with some of the kids on the team as well and their attitudes towards their teammates. It was a weird dynamic and not what we were expecting for a youth travel soccer team. Maybe we were naive, or maybe it was just an unlucky pairing. But it definitely sucked either way.

Anyway, he's playing in a recreational league this year with a few of his other friends and dominating it, which is fun for him, but obviously not very challenging for his skill development... but it's not like we're counting on sports for a college scholarship/admittance or some such, so I'm just glad he's enjoying the sport again. I'd kind of like him to try a new program next year that hopefully is more developmental with a positive, supportive culture (we've talked to a few other parents who've recommended other nearby programs instead), however we're also not going to push it too hard given last year's experience. More important to let the kid have fun and build a love of the sport.

Anonymous wrote:I should also add that they have basically only had him play one position this entire time. He is always striker. Is that normal for a 9 year old?

At 9 many coaches put weaker kids in striker. This team doesn't seem ability appropriate for him. I would leave over winter, request some money back and card but if not? Still leave. Too many places for enjoyable soccer and you don't want your dc to quit bc if a bad experience. Also, if you didn't decide to leave, ( not sure what area you are in) consider teams in medium leagues like Sam select where you can pick up additional playing time.

I’d be pissed too, op, and I never get fired up about sports stuff.

OP here...

This is actually U10 soccer. So most kids are 9 and my son turns 9 in December.

My son's coach is also the "Director of Football". So he is in charge. In the spring they just had 1 team in his age group. They decided to add a 2nd in the fall. That's the only reason we stayed on. I thought a 2nd team would mean more playing time. Mostly it did, but I think that is just because they didn't have enough kids. They could only field a team by having 2-4 kids play up a year.

I did try talking to the coach about it in the spring. He was cagey. I should have taken that as answer. Last weekend I thought the coach had maybe just forgotten to sub in my son. He had been talking to an apparent friend the entire half. So I whispered to my son to be sure to stand near the coach and let him know he was ready. He went over to the coach, told him he's ready, and the coach said "I decide who plays" and told him to sit back down.

I agree that this was just a money grab. What a mistake!

Anonymous wrote:
It is a racket. My spouse insists on this and yet the organization keeps trying to find additional ways to charge money for extras. I think it is a waste.

I just posted the below in another topic about a soccer camp. I guess value of what we spend money on for our kids is in the eye of the beholder.



My kid gets better doing camps I think. I used to have people always say camps are a money grab. I went in without any expectations. After every day at camp, my daughter would say how much fun she had. At the end of the week, she'd say she absolutely wants to do the next camp. She loves the shirt she gets at camp and wears it with pride. She also met kids outside her team, which she competed against in tournaments and league.

So, I look at this as she loves doing the camp. Maybe that's making her love soccer and want to do drills at home on her own. She's starting to become of age for college ID camps. People also say those are money grabs too. We'll see if the value of that experience is as rewarding as camps when she was younger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You pay $3000 for your kid to play soccer? OMG!!! What a racket.

It is a racket. My spouse insists on this and yet the organization keeps trying to find additional ways to charge money for extras. I think it is a waste.

Just because something costs a lot of money doesn't mean its a racket. Not if you have a choice in the matter. The funny thing about spending money on anything is that there is always someone who thinks its a waste. Cars, houses, vacations, clothes, restaurants, college, personal trainers, and soccer.

You don't see the value and so charging money for extras seems like you are being taken advantage of. From the organization's perspective, they are trying to make the product better by offering more services, like any other business does. Ever bought a car or been on a cruise? They are constantly trying to "enhance" your experience by upselling you on drink packages, entertainment, etc. It's not a racket it's their job to give customers more. You are the one deciding whether or not to be a customer. You aren't the victim.

It's normal in my experience (across several clubs in the DMV) for all kids on the team to generally play at least half of every game, unless there was some issue (illness, missed practices, showing up late, or discipline problems during training).

As for playing different positions at 9 years old, it varies. Some teams/clubs seem to focus on slotting kids into their "best" positions and playing them that way; other teams rotate more mechanically.

In my experience, my kids have either generally been identified as "defensive" players or "offensive" players and moved around a bit within those broad categories. For example, my offense-minded player will play striker, winger, midfielder while my defense-minded player will play center back, wingback, and occasionally midfield.

I agree with everyone else that it sounds like this club is not treating your kid fairly, and I would look for another club.

Name the club, btw so other parents can be aware of this practice.

Anonymous wrote:You pay $3000 for your kid to play soccer? OMG!!! What a racket.

It is a racket. My spouse insists on this and yet the organization keeps trying to find additional ways to charge money for extras. I think it is a waste.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter played 4 years of soccer in college and played very high level club soccer from age 9 to 18. The coaches on the top teams are making sure everyone is playing. If they did not - kids would move on to another club.

I don't have a child who has finished college. My DD is U14, playing ECNL. I've not experienced equal playing time. In our 40 minute a half games, the subs come in for 10-15 minutes a half normally. Sometimes it could be 5 minutes. I think it's the coach forgetting that substitute kid, rather than some tactical reason to play a girl for 5 minutes in a half. Some parents and kids are OK riding the bench on the brand logo ECNL team I think. Other families who prefer more playing time leave ECNL.

This doesn't seem to be characteristic of only certain coaches. It appears all teams do this, because both teams bring on their subs at the same time. So starters will play against starters. Then both benches are cleared about the same time for the subs and the few strongest players to be on the field.

You may already know this but for parents that are on the verge of or thinking about their daughter moving up to ECNL/GA, during their actual league games both leagues have substitution rules. This does not apply to ECNL-RL in Virginia, only ECNL. For ECNL, teams are only allowed to substitute 7 players per half with no re-entry during each half. Similar rule applies at the GA level but they're only afforded 5 sub opportunities the entire game and halftime is not included.

You should talk to the coach immediately. And then look for another team next year.

That is super frustrating. I’d definitely quit and go to a different club. It is so much of a financial and time commitment for kids and parents. The kids on my son’s travel team get fairly equal playing time.

My daughter is also a Dec birthday and it's much harder for her as well being youngest on her team. However, this should not impact how much playing time any kid has on a team. We've played for 2 large clubs in NOVA and quite honestly, I would have a fit if she did not play at least 1/2 of a game consistently.

She's been the star of a team and she's been on the bench of a team - she's U13 and 11 right now. I suspect your son if 9 is U11? At that age, it still is developmental but important he is allowed more time and I do think moving him to a larger reputable club would have that happen. Arlington, Alexandria, McLean, BRYC, they all do a good job rotating kids esp at 7v7. Once you get to 11v11 it may be a bit dicey depending on how large your team is.

U11 is more or less a kid playing at least all offensive or all defensive - they may switch your kid to 2 positions but my daughter who played 6, 8, 10 experienced the opposite prob of playing defensive at U11 along with all the offensive positions in a game - she could do it and nobody else on our team at U11 wanted to play more than 1 position so on that note, I don't think it's a huge deal for your kid to play just striker. If he's only playing a few minutes per game, keeping him in one position is probably best as well. It depends on whether or not he feels he's in the right place at striker v. midfielder/defense of course.

I would talk to the coach for this season and consider changing next season. It's not too late to continue developing at U11. I don't agree that Travel is a racket unlike PPs, if you pick the right club. On rec, they aren't actually going to approach playing in a formal manner. Let's face it, rec is fun. You can get better at playing but it's totally informal.

I can't even watch my other kid's rec game - I mean of course I do but it's night and day from a travel game. Rec players do not understanding positioning/spacing at all. It's a totally different set up. My travel kid will play soccer in MS school and she doesn't have to work and can score 6 goals just touching the ball. She's not ECNL but she's pretty high team but just saying, after 4-5 years of travel, she at least has a strong foundation I doubt rec would have given her.

She is not after being pro for sure, and we're not looking for that. But in terms of understanding the game and playing to the best of her ability, travel is where she should be. It's the difference between studying under a teacher and playing yourself. At a certain point, unless you are a savant, the right teacher in younger years can give you a foundation to build. It's just worth it to know what the right way is. The competition I think is what drives my travel kid - it's fun knowing that you know how to play you know? My other kid who does rec could really care less about soccer and just wants to run around with his friends

At 9, the minutes your son is playing is not appropriate. I’m sorry this is your experience with travel soccer. He should be getting much more game time. It’s a time of development for all players and your coach is taking advantage of you by taking your travel dollars. I’d leave the club. There are too many to choose from. And no need to compare this situation to your ECNL team, that is not relevant or helpful to the OP.

Anonymous wrote:My daughter played 4 years of soccer in college and played very high level club soccer from age 9 to 18. The coaches on the top teams are making sure everyone is playing. If they did not - kids would move on to another club.

I don't have a child who has finished college. My DD is U14, playing ECNL. I've not experienced equal playing time. In our 40 minute a half games, the subs come in for 10-15 minutes a half normally. Sometimes it could be 5 minutes. I think it's the coach forgetting that substitute kid, rather than some tactical reason to play a girl for 5 minutes in a half. Some parents and kids are OK riding the bench on the brand logo ECNL team I think. Other families who prefer more playing time leave ECNL.

This doesn't seem to be characteristic of only certain coaches. It appears all teams do this, because both teams bring on their subs at the same time. So starters will play against starters. Then both benches are cleared about the same time for the subs and the few strongest players to be on the field.

You say late year 9 year old. Most of the boys on his team are 10? So this is U11, not U9 or U10 as some people are suggesting.

Sounds like your son was brought on as a paycheck for the year and nothing else. Coach and club are expecting you to leave because they've done this and seen this before. They know playing your son 5 minutes means you'll be gone next year and they'll fill his spot with another "recruited" rec player.

Him playing as the team's striker when he's on the field means he's in the least vulnerable position on his team. Hide him up on top and no harm comes to the team. The other kids know why he's there and they won't play balls to him.

This happens every year at every large club unfortunately. It's sad that the club is a business as opposed to a youth development program.