This is how I have made mom friends, but we are not super close like say friends from college or coworkers before I got married and had kids and less time to devote to forming close friendships:

Volunteer at school
exercise class
PTA meeting-just sitting in the audience and chatting with moms before
waiting rooms of OT/ST/PT -one of mine has special needs

adding to the above. Asking to get together is about getting to know each other better. No one is making a decision, yet, on being friends.

You ask to get together. Something specific. You give a date or offer a couple of dates to choose from. Expect lots of rejection but it's still worth it. When people say no, you won't know if it's you or not. If they say they can't and never reach out to you with an actual invitation, they are not available to you for friendship. Don't bother speculating "why." Do not waste your emotional energy if they say, "call me next time" or "we'll have to get together soon". Those are not actual invitations. This person is an acquaintance, that's all.

And btw, once friends, true friends reciprocate.

Anonymous wrote:Be careful because it can fall apart at middle school.
Better to find non mom friends at age 9!

No - there's definitely a need for friends who understand your particular stage of parenting. But find them *not* by befriending the parents of your kid's friends. What others have said is true: volunteer, make yourself a regular, get involved, etc. You also do have to initiate. The caveat is that IME, it's okay to be selective about people with whom you want to deepen a budding friendship. Don't indiscriminately invite people to coffee or whatever. When you're around the same people for a while, you'll know whom you click with - those are the ones you want to gravitate towards. If it's awkward, don't force it. And if it's not awkward, don't be shy about reaching out. Again IME, when there's a mutual connection, people are happy to get to know you better.

People don't want to be friends because you don't have anything they want. That's how I view it. Look around and observe. If they don't want anything from you and thinks you can't offer them anything, they don't bother with you.
It's not you, it's them. Or make yourself interesting.

My DD started Irish dance last year and we have made wonderful family friends through that. Everyone is so easy going, kind, and friendly. It's like a breath of fresh air.

I struggled with this at the beginning too but you really just have to put yourself out there. My mom told me that when I was in first grade (I'm the oldest) she had no mom friends and so she pumped herself up for a whole week, bought a 6 pack of beer, and walked over to someone in my class's house. She rang the door bell and asked if the mom would like to sit outside and have a beer. They are still best friends 40 years later. The friend always jokes that the crazy lady showing up with beer was one of the best things that ever happened to her.

My oldest is in K and there's a family from our neighborhood that has a girl in the same class. I had my daughter draw a picture for her and then on the back I introduced myself and wrote my number if they ever wanted to get the kids together. The mom reached out and we actually met at the park last night. It was nice and I'm glad that I initiated even though it was out of my comfort zone.

Anonymous wrote:Sports

+1

Other sports-like activities like chess work too. If there are practices and tournaments you'll see other parents frequently.

Does your kid have friends? Are you friends with those parents?
I have mom friends I made when DD was a baby and I joined a moms group. During Covid we switched to private for 4th grade and I had to make mom friends at her school too. Singing up to volunteer for field trips helps, or class parties. It was hard at first being a new mom at the school but I put effort in and found my people.