Op, I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way, I can totally understand what a real and significant change it is that you’re anticipating. My work situation has been very different from yours but I can only imagine if I was in your shoes how I would feel about going back four days a week after 3 1/2 years of work from home! That’s a very long time to be settled into a new routine.
I think the kind advice you’ve gotten here is good. If it really does not work for you, start looking for a new job ASAP. And then while you’re doing the four days a week you could at least tell yourself that it won’t be permanent.
Would it bring you any emotional relief to try to negotiate only two or three days in the office? I don’t know what the optics of that would be like with your coworkers and your boss but maybe worth considering?
The other thing I think about in situations like this is that there have to be tons of other employees feeling the same way as you. I don’t know how big your organization is, but I’d be very curious to see if other people will be pushing back on this a lot. And, if they are, you can see what other arrangements they have made, etc.
Hang in there, I can understand why you’re feeling this way, just remind yourself that it doesn’t have to be permanent and while it might be slow to make changes in some way, you can probably find some thing that suits you better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Presumably you went into the office before covid hit and you didn't get sick to your stomach and have panic attacks.

I don't understand why you feel that way now. I mean, sure it sucks to have to RTO, but not understanding why you are getting legit panic attacks over it.

Exactly. You'll adjust.

I think you are feeling this way because you think that the employer is taking away something from you. But in reality, they adjusted for the pandemic and are adjusting things back to normal now.

+1 so true
Instead of being grateful for the time working at home, people are feeling punished returning to the status quo pre-covid. Nothing lasts forever.

not so.
we used to need to use payphones on the street to call ppl when we were out. We don't now bc we have cells. We used to need to cross atlantic by ship but now we have planes. Should we start using payphones again and sailing to france bc we are just 'going back to normal'? progress happens and gives us the gift of time and convenience. Trying to turn the clock back just causes resentment and people like op will find better jobs that understand that and the ones who are stuck in the past will lose good employees and only be able to hire the desperate and second rate (or extroverts!)

That's silly. Why should kids then return to school? Why not have all of them continue to do virtual learning?

Anonymous wrote:Can you be a SAHM?

this is the worst response. Most people cannot afford to live off only one income, and to quit just because they don't want to RTO.

I was in a position where I was going to have to RTO after wfh for 8 years. It sucked. I was not really looking forward to it, but I can adjust.

You said that you get a ton done at home. Are you more productive at home than you were when you were in the office before Covid? If so can you prove that? My husband put together a document that clearly showed that his team increased their productivity by 40% when they started working from home. He presented that to the owner and they all agreed that the team would continue to work remotely. They all come in to the office once a month for a team meeting.

If you can show that you are more valuable to your management when you work at home then you might be able to convince them to allow you to work from home more often. Focus on how it helps the company, not how it helps you.

Can you be a SAHM?

I think you just do it and it gets easier over time. We're back 5/10 days a pay period and it.... kind of nice. I like chatting with colleagues who work in different programs and I'd never interact normally. In person meetings are 100x better and they also cut all our meetings back to like 2-3 a week. We no longer have to schedule meetings to ask coworkers questions, we can just ask during their office hours.

But yeah, 4 days a week is a lot. I really to cherish my days at home. I have different tasks I schedule for different days. I do a lot of document review, editing at work (huge monitors and I like my set up more), more phone call, zoom meetings at home.

Find another job where they won't care you're wearing your PJs and picking up your kids in the middle of the day and cooking your dinner. They exist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, find a new job. Also, I don’t have any sympathy for you because I’ve been in-office full time through the pandemic. Would I like to work from home? Yes. Does my job allow me to do that? No. So my options are find a new career or suck it up and deal. If you’d like it op, find a new line of work.

I hate these kinds of responses. We get it, you’re jealous you had to work from the office even though your job doesn’t necessitate that.

I go in the office voluntarily 4 days a week, it’s not a requirement. I think my team works better in person together. I’m not jealous of anyone sitting at home making soup during the day but I do judge them for leaving to pick up their kids in the middle of the day while the rest of us are working together. Zero sympathy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Presumably you went into the office before covid hit and you didn't get sick to your stomach and have panic attacks.

I don't understand why you feel that way now. I mean, sure it sucks to have to RTO, but not understanding why you are getting legit panic attacks over it.

Exactly. You'll adjust.

I think you are feeling this way because you think that the employer is taking away something from you. But in reality, they adjusted for the pandemic and are adjusting things back to normal now.

+1 so true
Instead of being grateful for the time working at home, people are feeling punished returning to the status quo pre-covid. Nothing lasts forever.

not so.
we used to need to use payphones on the street to call ppl when we were out. We don't now bc we have cells. We used to need to cross atlantic by ship but now we have planes. Should we start using payphones again and sailing to france bc we are just 'going back to normal'? progress happens and gives us the gift of time and convenience. Trying to turn the clock back just causes resentment and people like op will find better jobs that understand that and the ones who are stuck in the past will lose good employees and only be able to hire the desperate and second rate (or extroverts!)

These are not good analogies. Nothing is lost by using a cell phone instead of a pay phone or a plane instead of a ship.

A lot is lost when humans don't interact together face to face. No your Teams chat and zoom are not even remotely the same thing. I understand some of you don't care and don't want to ever interact with humans at work. But it's not unreasonable that your employer is not okay with the tradeoffs and losses.

This response to the change seems over the top - panic attacks?!? I understand not wanting to RTO. Get another job. Adjust in the meantime.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Presumably you went into the office before covid hit and you didn't get sick to your stomach and have panic attacks.

I don't understand why you feel that way now. I mean, sure it sucks to have to RTO, but not understanding why you are getting legit panic attacks over it.

Exactly. You'll adjust.

I think you are feeling this way because you think that the employer is taking away something from you. But in reality, they adjusted for the pandemic and are adjusting things back to normal now.

+1 so true
Instead of being grateful for the time working at home, people are feeling punished returning to the status quo pre-covid. Nothing lasts forever.

not so.
we used to need to use payphones on the street to call ppl when we were out. We don't now bc we have cells. We used to need to cross atlantic by ship but now we have planes. Should we start using payphones again and sailing to france bc we are just 'going back to normal'? progress happens and gives us the gift of time and convenience. Trying to turn the clock back just causes resentment and people like op will find better jobs that understand that and the ones who are stuck in the past will lose good employees and only be able to hire the desperate and second rate (or extroverts!)

Anonymous wrote:It’s about time you had to go back to work and actually EARN your money.

wut? she doesn't earn money now?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quit and find a different job.

Not an option for me!! I need money!

The different job will pay you money.

I totally understand working from home is way better for people like us! I am also someone who is way more productive from home and it has a lot to do with some physical challenges that just commuting and being in an office environment take most of my energy.

I was also very anxious about returning. It's okay to feel this way. It's a big change. Give it some time and see how you're feeling when you actually adjust. Go easy on yourself.

In the meantime, start looking for other jobs and consider what you can negotiate in your current role.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Presumably you went into the office before covid hit and you didn't get sick to your stomach and have panic attacks.

I don't understand why you feel that way now. I mean, sure it sucks to have to RTO, but not understanding why you are getting legit panic attacks over it.

Exactly. You'll adjust.

I think you are feeling this way because you think that the employer is taking away something from you. But in reality, they adjusted for the pandemic and are adjusting things back to normal now.

+1 so true
Instead of being grateful for the time working at home, people are feeling punished returning to the status quo pre-covid. Nothing lasts forever.