Anonymous wrote:OP, why do you think the widow is not inheriting all of the money? Did you Inlaws tell you otherwise?

Because of estate taxes. If she inherited everything her estate would have huge estate taxes to pay. In order to avoid this a marital deduction trust is created calculating how much needs to be put in that trust to avoid the estate taxes. The remainder is put in a family trust which goes directly to his beneficiaries. That trust is available according to the trust terms.

There’s also a generation skipping trust so the estate isn’t taxed twice. When my husband’s mother dies some assets skip her two children and goes directly to the grandchildren to avoid estate tax.

My dh asked me to explain it, not sure why people who don’t know the answer just respond with rudeness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If there’s a lawyer as the executor, just talk to them or don’t worry about it.

PS I also think people are being really unfair to the OP. Spouses divvy up financial management responsibilities differently, and she’s also a parent of beneficiaries. Inheritances are like other assets and you have to be diligent.

But I don’t think you should argue with the sister about it because that doesn’t do anything. Just contact the executor and ask for copies of anything you’re entitled to see and/or for a meeting to review.

Last thing, it’s really helpful imo to share the details of your estate plan and the documents with your adult children. There’s no reason why anyone needs to be in the dark unless they’re in a personal crisis or something. Just because inheritance involves someone dying doesn’t mean it needs to be secretive.

Sigh, money really makes people do some crazy sh*t. Butt out OP.

Anonymous wrote:If there’s a lawyer as the executor, just talk to them or don’t worry about it.

PS I also think people are being really unfair to the OP. Spouses divvy up financial management responsibilities differently, and she’s also a parent of beneficiaries. Inheritances are like other assets and you have to be diligent.

But I don’t think you should argue with the sister about it because that doesn’t do anything. Just contact the executor and ask for copies of anything you’re entitled to see and/or for a meeting to review.

Anonymous wrote:My husband has a very small family. One sister, parents. His father just died leaving a marital deduction trust, or bypass trust, and a family trust with percentages created for both children and four grandchildren.

My husband’s sister is mostly talking with the attorney named as executor of the Will. She keeps telling us that no one gets money until their mother dies. I told her that was inaccurate and that the family trusts will be funded with the assets that didn’t go into the marital trust and should be available once funded. Am I wrong?

If the sister is getting this info from the attorney dealing with the estate I don't know why you would know better than her. I would assume she is conveying the correct info and stay out of it.

FWIW, my dad died last year and he and mom had trusts, of which I don't know the specific details (since I'm not the executor), but I have no expectation of receiving any inheritance until my mom dies.

If there’s a lawyer as the executor, just talk to them or don’t worry about it.

Anonymous wrote:You had literally nothing to do with that money. Not sure why you feel compelled to jump in here. It is NOT your money.

If OP’s husband is like mine, he’s “too busy at work” and leaving this to her to deal with.

Oh man, you are rotten to the core OP.

OP, why do you think the widow is not inheriting all of the money? Did you Inlaws tell you otherwise?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are being unfair to OP. I think it is reasonable to try to understand how the trusts work. If my husband’s parents had a trust, I might be the one explaining it to him. It doesn’t mean I am in a hurry to get his parent’s money. Of course, it depends on the family dynamic, but why assume the worst.

This. I thought the estate went to the spouse first, but am not familiar with the types of trusts involved here. OP and her DH have legitimate questions.

Right, so OP should have said "I have a question." Not "I told her that was inaccurate". FFS. OP, the lawyer is going to think you're full of sh*t forever. I suggest you butt out and let your DH handle this entirely.

Anonymous wrote:My husband has a very small family. One sister, parents. His father just died leaving a marital deduction trust, or bypass trust, and a family trust with percentages created for both children and four grandchildren.

My husband’s sister is mostly talking with the attorney named as executor of the Will. She keeps telling us that no one gets money until their mother dies. I told her that was inaccurate and that the family trusts will be funded with the assets that didn’t go into the marital trust and should be available once funded. Am I wrong?

Yes, you're wrong. It depends on the terms of the trust, and if you haven't seen the documents then you don't know.

You are incredibly, incredibly, off the charts absurdly out of line to tell your SIL she is wrong. You don't know, because you haven't seen the documents. I wouldn't be surprised if your SIL hates you and thinks you are greedy forever. You should call her and apologize, today.

Also, don't say anything to them or your husband about this. Let them figure it out and sit this one out.

If your husband starts asking for docs, it will create more drama than you have ever seen, and possibly for no reason at all. It's also the kind of drama that a family never recovers from.

Anonymous wrote:Good grief. Stay out of it. Let DH handle.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are being unfair to OP. I think it is reasonable to try to understand how the trusts work. If my husband’s parents had a trust, I might be the one explaining it to him. It doesn’t mean I am in a hurry to get his parent’s money. Of course, it depends on the family dynamic, but why assume the worst.

This. I thought the estate went to the spouse first, but am not familiar with the types of trusts involved here. OP and her DH have legitimate questions.

That's a living trust/will/POA situation that is standard if you use an estate planning attorney around here.

Anonymous wrote:I think people are being unfair to OP. I think it is reasonable to try to understand how the trusts work. If my husband’s parents had a trust, I might be the one explaining it to him. It doesn’t mean I am in a hurry to get his parent’s money. Of course, it depends on the family dynamic, but why assume the worst.

This. I thought the estate went to the spouse first, but am not familiar with the types of trusts involved here. OP and her DH have legitimate questions.