Anonymous wrote:My ILs have treated me like this since I’ve known them - over 30 years!

MIL just recently had a dementia diagnosis.

I have very little contact with them and we’re local - for my own sanity.

It really is draining when there is bad behavior-whether it's talking to you like you are an idiot, raging, lunging or whatever. I can deal with an irrational or agitated toddler any day, but bad behavior in elders is not for me. I find even seeing elders I am not related to being nasty triggers me. It may be because it's just the worsening of behavior with my mother so it brings back a lot of bad memories.

I find there are 2 types of people who have more pleasant elders-those who have empathy and understand they are fortunate and those who feel the need to come on DCUM and bash those who are venting. Something like "Oh...I've dealt with memory lapses and the occasional frustration and anger and I did it because I love my mom so you must be a terrible human." I hope they don't show up to in-person support groups to insult, guilt trip and spread nasty to those who need to vent to cope.

My ILs have treated me like this since I’ve known them - over 30 years!

MIL just recently had a dementia diagnosis.

I have very little contact with them and we’re local - for my own sanity.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t worry one day your mom’s calling will completely stop!! You won’t have to be inconvenienced by her. I mean a call a week must be so time consuming!! Just wanting to visit because she’s lonely. I am blessed my Dad lives with me. He asks the same thing over and over. I’m ok with that. He had bad habits but that’s ok he cleaned after me many times. I pay for everything but it’s just money. Sorry your life is so hard. I miss my mom she passed away in 2017. I’m guilt free because I loved her. I wish my mom could call and talk to me. Stop being so egocentric

You're the one focusing on yourself, PP. Other people are allowed to have different experiences from yours and to feel differently than you do. This thread isn't about you.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t worry one day your mom’s calling will completely stop!! You won’t have to be inconvenienced by her. I mean a call a week must be so time consuming!! Just wanting to visit because she’s lonely. I am blessed my Dad lives with me. He asks the same thing over and over. I’m ok with that. He had bad habits but that’s ok he cleaned after me many times. I pay for everything but it’s just money. Sorry your life is so hard. I miss my mom she passed away in 2017. I’m guilt free because I loved her. I wish my mom could call and talk to me. Stop being so egocentric

+1

Don’t worry one day your mom’s calling will completely stop!! You won’t have to be inconvenienced by her. I mean a call a week must be so time consuming!! Just wanting to visit because she’s lonely. I am blessed my Dad lives with me. He asks the same thing over and over. I’m ok with that. He had bad habits but that’s ok he cleaned after me many times. I pay for everything but it’s just money. Sorry your life is so hard. I miss my mom she passed away in 2017. I’m guilt free because I loved her. I wish my mom could call and talk to me. Stop being so egocentric