Anonymous
Post 10/04/2023 16:12     Subject: Fraternity for a decent human being
I posted above about the Greek system being overall not great. I do think though there are some fraternities that are chill and don't haze and are nice/nontoxic.

It all varies by campus.
Anonymous
Post 10/04/2023 16:05     Subject: Fraternity for a decent human being
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Since everyone else is throwing you under the bus for this question, I will provide one normal answer. He needs to do more research, talk to guys who end up in the various frats and find one that suits him more.

My DS is a very non-greek type and he found a place that was perfect for him. Every campus will have one I'd think. I will say that yes this IS something he will have to do himself but no reason not to lend moral support.


If he's in a frat, he's not a non-greek type.


Sorry but you're wrong. He only rushed becasue his roommate wanted to and he didn't want to be left out. Texted me at 1 AM after the midnight deadline to sign up saying he just wasted $50 because there's no way he's pledging. Guess what? You (anonymous DCUM poster) do not know everything (or even anything). He found a group of guys just like him who just happen to be in a fraternity and loves it. He has not been hazed. Yes I know he hasn't because he told me at the first sign of it, he's leaving. He will be living in the house next year, and can't wait. I am thankful that he found this group because it has really expanded his friend circle and social life and hes a very introverted, non party, hard working student type.


At least that's what you're being told
Anonymous
Post 10/04/2023 16:05     Subject: Fraternity for a decent human being
Anonymous wrote:My son just finished recruitment for a fraternity at a Big State U in the Northeast. He just picked one house because he already knew people there who he liked. He went through several rounds and seemed to really connect with the people. The last event was an invite only event which involved having 30 members throw questions at him. It sounds like there was an alpha male who wanted him to profess his blind support for the group. He wondered if he said the right thing. He never heard back from them. He saw on instagram that they were having a bid night event without him.

If you saw my son's LinkedIn page, your overall impression would be that he is a decent human being. He's done volunteer projects and received most improved player for sports. He likes to have fun with friends and attend sports events. He drinks but I don't think he binges - has a cautious disposition.

The college has spring recruitment as well. One idea is to research the houses more through Instagram etc. What is the vibe? Do these guys take themselves too seriously? Are they slobs? Misfits? etc. Try again considering more options than just one house?

I also see service fraternities - may not be a fit - could be too pious or overly wholesome. A business fraternity looks like a possible good option - he's interested in business and it's open to all majors and genders and it's focused on personal and professional development and they also have outings and events.

He was drawn to the Greek system because it looked like fun. It would be an automatic group of people to hang out with some structured events.

Any other suggestions?


sure
Anonymous
Post 10/04/2023 16:03     Subject: Fraternity for a decent human being
Anonymous wrote:No, stay out of it, Mom. He doesn’t need or want your help on finding a fraternity


New helicopter parent achievement unlocked.

I can’t think of many things that would kill a frat bid faster than “my mommy looked you folks up and thinks you are nice enough guys for me.”



Anonymous
Post 10/04/2023 14:07     Subject: Fraternity for a decent human being
It don't know why people make excuses for the Greek system as it currently stands. It is pretty awful in general.

OP - I am sorry for your ds. I know it is hard to watch them go through it. He will figure out something else. The fraternity thing may be be fresh/soph year but by the time they are juniors many are over it.

My ds decided not to rush his freshman year but was talked into it his soph year, took a bid, and then dropped out after 48 hours because he was not about to be bossed around by other students and clean their rooms much less walk on hot glass or whatever it is they do to prove their loyalty.

It is not a reflection on your ds at all.
Anonymous
Post 10/04/2023 14:00     Subject: Fraternity for a decent human being
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Since everyone else is throwing you under the bus for this question, I will provide one normal answer. He needs to do more research, talk to guys who end up in the various frats and find one that suits him more.

My DS is a very non-greek type and he found a place that was perfect for him. Every campus will have one I'd think. I will say that yes this IS something he will have to do himself but no reason not to lend moral support.


If he's in a frat, he's not a non-greek type.


Sorry but you're wrong. He only rushed becasue his roommate wanted to and he didn't want to be left out. Texted me at 1 AM after the midnight deadline to sign up saying he just wasted $50 because there's no way he's pledging. Guess what? You (anonymous DCUM poster) do not know everything (or even anything). He found a group of guys just like him who just happen to be in a fraternity and loves it. He has not been hazed. Yes I know he hasn't because he told me at the first sign of it, he's leaving. He will be living in the house next year, and can't wait. I am thankful that he found this group because it has really expanded his friend circle and social life and hes a very introverted, non party, hard working student type.
Anonymous
Post 10/04/2023 13:53     Subject: Fraternity for a decent human being
It’s a clique. One you pay for…literally.

My kid got a bid, went to meeting where they made clear what the process entailed, and my kid walked out. He said he wasn’t interested in having guys boss him around. One of his suite mates was routinely beckoned in the middle of the night or crack of dawn to run errands, etc. Totally screwed with his schedule.

Anonymous
Post 10/04/2023 13:47     Subject: Fraternity for a decent human being
Its probably a blessing in disguise. He sounds like a good kid while those places are full of asses.
Anonymous
Post 10/04/2023 13:47     Subject: Fraternity for a decent human being
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, stay out of it, Mom. He doesn’t need or want your help on finding a fraternity


Actually, it kind of sounds like he tells her everything and asks for advice. OP - I have no advice. The Greek system is so stupid. I hope he can find his people elsewhere. Maybe he should volunteer at an animal shelter or something.


Not really. Nowhere did she say that. My kid asks for my advice quite a bit and I can't imagine writing a novella like that to crowdsource something so odd on DCUM.


Not to mention the way OP phrases it. Fraternity for a decent human being. So the one that rejected her kid isn't for decent human beings. Got it.
Anonymous
Post 10/04/2023 13:46     Subject: Fraternity for a decent human being
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, stay out of it, Mom. He doesn’t need or want your help on finding a fraternity


Actually, it kind of sounds like he tells her everything and asks for advice. OP - I have no advice. The Greek system is so stupid. I hope he can find his people elsewhere. Maybe he should volunteer at an animal shelter or something.


Not really. Nowhere did she say that. My kid asks for my advice quite a bit and I can't imagine writing a novella like that to crowdsource something so odd on DCUM.
Anonymous
Post 10/04/2023 13:46     Subject: Fraternity for a decent human being
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No, stay out of it, Mom. He doesn’t need or want your help on finding a fraternity


Actually, it kind of sounds like he tells her everything and asks for advice. OP - I have no advice. The Greek system is so stupid. I hope he can find his people elsewhere. Maybe he should volunteer at an animal shelter or something.


+1
Anonymous
Post 10/04/2023 13:43     Subject: Fraternity for a decent human being
Anonymous wrote:Since everyone else is throwing you under the bus for this question, I will provide one normal answer. He needs to do more research, talk to guys who end up in the various frats and find one that suits him more.

My DS is a very non-greek type and he found a place that was perfect for him. Every campus will have one I'd think. I will say that yes this IS something he will have to do himself but no reason not to lend moral support.


If he's in a frat, he's not a non-greek type.
Anonymous
Post 10/04/2023 13:34     Subject: Fraternity for a decent human being
Anonymous wrote:Business frats binge drink and use a lot of coke. Service frat is the way to go. Or really, just ... not joining one at all.


+100

And OP, it sounds like your child will be eaten up in a frat.
Anonymous
Post 10/04/2023 13:33     Subject: Fraternity for a decent human being
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Delta Tau Chi


Pipe down Flounder!


Dang! I thought that one would slide by.
Anonymous
Post 10/04/2023 13:30     Subject: Fraternity for a decent human being
Since everyone else is throwing you under the bus for this question, I will provide one normal answer. He needs to do more research, talk to guys who end up in the various frats and find one that suits him more.

My DS is a very non-greek type and he found a place that was perfect for him. Every campus will have one I'd think. I will say that yes this IS something he will have to do himself but no reason not to lend moral support.