Anonymous wrote:People always say this has nothing to do with their marital happiness, it makes the marriage better etc etc but I never believe it. Cuddling and ... spontaneity are a huge part of intimacy for me.

This

I’m in the midst of a terrible cold so I’m sleeping in a different room. This happens to both of us a few times a year and we don’t like it. We always go to bed at the same time and that is very comforting and often fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sleeping in separate rooms was ok but eventually not great for our marriage but sleep is absolutely #1. If you cannot come to a compromise about sleeping arrangements so that everyone can sleep, then you HAVE to sleep separately! Think of how many people need to use a CPAP machine… their spouses should not HAVE to sleep in the same room with that.

What's wrong with a CPAP machine? Maybe they used to be more loud or something, but my husband uses one which I can barely hear, and I am a very light sleeper. It makes noise when the mask is off the wearer, but when the mask is on, it's really quiet.

Lol
You must be closer to deaf than not.

People always say this has nothing to do with their marital happiness, it makes the marriage better etc etc but I never believe it. Cuddling and ... spontaneity are a huge part of intimacy for me.

My husband moved into the guest room because of my snoring 5 years ago. He's a loud snorer too, but I am a very deep sleeper and it never bothered me. It really hurt my feelings when he moved to the other room. I'm over it, but we are definitely not as close anymore.

This actually sounds amazing. Most of our disagreements are related to sleep conditions: light and temperature. I will figure out a way to suggest this to my wife… a person who believes that not only do we need to sleep in the same bed, but as close as possible.

We sleep so much better apart. I love him. On weekday mornings he comes back to our room to chat as I get ready (I leave early) and on weekends he comes back to bed and brings us both coffee. It's not like we don't spend time together - but when it's time to sleep we go to separate rooms. It's still "our" room and bed.

I wish we could.

I sleep with ear plugs and a white noise machine. He uses an eye pillow. If we weren’t sleeping soundly with that, it would be a no go.

Is the implication that sleeping in separate rooms kills sex life? I don't think so. I would hate it if my spouse would want to have sex with me when I am in deep sleep just because he is at arm's length.

Anonymous wrote:Man here. Married 20 years. Sleeping in separate beds that past five. Why?

She's gained a lot of weight and in turn, a very loud snoring problem. I sleep with earplugs, but can hear her snoring away in the other room when I am awake. I can't imagine being able to sleep with her snoring like that.

I get up and pee 3+ times a night. I also sometimes snore. She finds both of these things disturbing as well.

In her perfect world, we would sleep wrapped around each other's bodies. I'm unable to sleep if I'm touching someone.

So we're kind of incompatible as sleepmates. I'm not sure where I'm going with this...but we're still together.

God that sounds horrible. DH and I usually sleep separately and it’s amazing…I feel like it’s part of why we get along so well.

Your problem is your H not your marriage.

He’s controlling and selfish.

Man here. Married 20 years. Sleeping in separate beds that past five. Why?

She's gained a lot of weight and in turn, a very loud snoring problem. I sleep with earplugs, but can hear her snoring away in the other room when I am awake. I can't imagine being able to sleep with her snoring like that.

I get up and pee 3+ times a night. I also sometimes snore. She finds both of these things disturbing as well.

In her perfect world, we would sleep wrapped around each other's bodies. I'm unable to sleep if I'm touching someone.

So we're kind of incompatible as sleepmates. I'm not sure where I'm going with this...but we're still together.

We have our own rooms and the marriage is better than ever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sleeping in separate rooms was ok but eventually not great for our marriage but sleep is absolutely #1. If you cannot come to a compromise about sleeping arrangements so that everyone can sleep, then you HAVE to sleep separately! Think of how many people need to use a CPAP machine… their spouses should not HAVE to sleep in the same room with that.

What's wrong with a CPAP machine? Maybe they used to be more loud or something, but my husband uses one which I can barely hear, and I am a very light sleeper. It makes noise when the mask is off the wearer, but when the mask is on, it's really quiet.

They're very loud if you're a light sleeper. I've been kept awake on planes.

Anonymous wrote:Sleeping in separate rooms was ok but eventually not great for our marriage but sleep is absolutely #1. If you cannot come to a compromise about sleeping arrangements so that everyone can sleep, then you HAVE to sleep separately! Think of how many people need to use a CPAP machine… their spouses should not HAVE to sleep in the same room with that.

What's wrong with a CPAP machine? Maybe they used to be more loud or something, but my husband uses one which I can barely hear, and I am a very light sleeper. It makes noise when the mask is off the wearer, but when the mask is on, it's really quiet.