I have POTS (a form of dysautonomia) and even when I was a size 2 who could jog 6 miles, I was still huffing and puffing the whole time.

Everyone's body is different. There's no shame in that; don't let it keep you from enjoying what you can! Maybe you can get a treadmill and build up some stamina in the privacy of your home before attempting things in public. But ultimately, you need to find a way to let go of worrying about other people's judgment. Life is short!

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Anonymous wrote:I might glance in the direction of a heavy breather, someone with a red face, a person sweating a lot, another whose hair is all frazzled, someone in head to toe neon pink. I just glance, look away and the thought of them goes right out of my head. I don't think people care like you think they do. We are all in our own heads/ schedules/ worries. You can start by going to low traffic trails and use it as a mental health practice to conquer a fear.

What about DH, though? He's the one I'm really afraid to be out of breath in front of. I don't do solo low-traffic trails.

He’s your husband! Who cares if you’re out of breath with him. I feel like you might have issues that go far deeper than being out of breath when you exercise.

Obviously. But I'd like to solve the small issues if I can.

Your small issues are caused by your self esteem and mental health issues. How do you expect anything to change if you don't address those? I've been a size 20 and I'm very familiar with your thought process. But just suck it up and do it and then get some therapy. Or go to the gym.

Believe it or not, some people are actually worthless. There's no reason to have a high opinion of yourself if you're a failure. That doesn't mean we can't make small changes.

No one is worthless. Op also has a husband and kid and owes it to them to work on herself.

It was OP who posted that.

Oh sorry. I've seen people be really mean to those who are overweight and the last sentence made me think it wasn't OP who posted. If OP think she's worthless, she definitely needs therapy. My point still stands that she owes it to her family

Exercise while doing something at home. My wife and I watch TV for an hour after we put the kids to bed. When my wife wanted to get started exercising again and didn't have time to exercise during the day, she started by marching in place while we watched TV. Then she added small weights while she marched. Later she increased to jogging in place. After a few weeks of doing this at home, she finally made time to go out for walks/jogs in the neighborhood during the day (she teleworks).

But this helped her get a bit more toned and less out-of-shape before she started going out of the house for exercise.

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Anonymous wrote:I might glance in the direction of a heavy breather, someone with a red face, a person sweating a lot, another whose hair is all frazzled, someone in head to toe neon pink. I just glance, look away and the thought of them goes right out of my head. I don't think people care like you think they do. We are all in our own heads/ schedules/ worries. You can start by going to low traffic trails and use it as a mental health practice to conquer a fear.

What about DH, though? He's the one I'm really afraid to be out of breath in front of. I don't do solo low-traffic trails.

He’s your husband! Who cares if you’re out of breath with him. I feel like you might have issues that go far deeper than being out of breath when you exercise.

Obviously. But I'd like to solve the small issues if I can.

Your small issues are caused by your self esteem and mental health issues. How do you expect anything to change if you don't address those? I've been a size 20 and I'm very familiar with your thought process. But just suck it up and do it and then get some therapy. Or go to the gym.

Believe it or not, some people are actually worthless. There's no reason to have a high opinion of yourself if you're a failure. That doesn't mean we can't make small changes.

No one is worthless. Op also has a husband and kid and owes it to them to work on herself.

It was OP who posted that.

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Anonymous wrote:I might glance in the direction of a heavy breather, someone with a red face, a person sweating a lot, another whose hair is all frazzled, someone in head to toe neon pink. I just glance, look away and the thought of them goes right out of my head. I don't think people care like you think they do. We are all in our own heads/ schedules/ worries. You can start by going to low traffic trails and use it as a mental health practice to conquer a fear.

What about DH, though? He's the one I'm really afraid to be out of breath in front of. I don't do solo low-traffic trails.

He’s your husband! Who cares if you’re out of breath with him. I feel like you might have issues that go far deeper than being out of breath when you exercise.

Obviously. But I'd like to solve the small issues if I can.

Your small issues are caused by your self esteem and mental health issues. How do you expect anything to change if you don't address those? I've been a size 20 and I'm very familiar with your thought process. But just suck it up and do it and then get some therapy. Or go to the gym.

I agree and kindly suggest getting out of your own head.

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Anonymous wrote:I might glance in the direction of a heavy breather, someone with a red face, a person sweating a lot, another whose hair is all frazzled, someone in head to toe neon pink. I just glance, look away and the thought of them goes right out of my head. I don't think people care like you think they do. We are all in our own heads/ schedules/ worries. You can start by going to low traffic trails and use it as a mental health practice to conquer a fear.

What about DH, though? He's the one I'm really afraid to be out of breath in front of. I don't do solo low-traffic trails.

He’s your husband! Who cares if you’re out of breath with him. I feel like you might have issues that go far deeper than being out of breath when you exercise.

Obviously. But I'd like to solve the small issues if I can.

Your small issues are caused by your self esteem and mental health issues. How do you expect anything to change if you don't address those? I've been a size 20 and I'm very familiar with your thought process. But just suck it up and do it and then get some therapy. Or go to the gym.

Believe it or not, some people are actually worthless. There's no reason to have a high opinion of yourself if you're a failure. That doesn't mean we can't make small changes.

No one is worthless. Op also has a husband and kid and owes it to them to work on herself.

OP, you seem very sensitive to this issue, e.g., referring to your 11 year old's simple question as "calling you out" and being worried what your husband will think. I empathize and also think it's worth pushing yourself to exercise, shortness of breath at all. Don't let that worry preclude you from exercising.

FWIW, I'm the fit one in our family and have an 11 year old who would likely ask about shortness of breath (not rudely) and also a DH who is considerably less fit than me. It wouldn't occur to judge him for being out of breath - of course he would be in that case. Anyone pushing past their limits gets out of breath, even very fit people. I'd encourage you to see this issue for what it is and push past your worry.

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Anonymous wrote:I might glance in the direction of a heavy breather, someone with a red face, a person sweating a lot, another whose hair is all frazzled, someone in head to toe neon pink. I just glance, look away and the thought of them goes right out of my head. I don't think people care like you think they do. We are all in our own heads/ schedules/ worries. You can start by going to low traffic trails and use it as a mental health practice to conquer a fear.

What about DH, though? He's the one I'm really afraid to be out of breath in front of. I don't do solo low-traffic trails.

He’s your husband! Who cares if you’re out of breath with him. I feel like you might have issues that go far deeper than being out of breath when you exercise.

Obviously. But I'd like to solve the small issues if I can.

Your small issues are caused by your self esteem and mental health issues. How do you expect anything to change if you don't address those? I've been a size 20 and I'm very familiar with your thought process. But just suck it up and do it and then get some therapy. Or go to the gym.

Believe it or not, some people are actually worthless. There's no reason to have a high opinion of yourself if you're a failure. That doesn't mean we can't make small changes.

Anonymous wrote:I have ran many many races, including 2 marathons. I sound like I’m out of breath and having some sort of asthma attack from the first mile through the last. It’s just the way I am. Don’t worry what others think - you’re not alone.

Me too! I just sound like I'm dying, but I have pretty good aerobic fitness and lung capacity.

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Anonymous wrote:I might glance in the direction of a heavy breather, someone with a red face, a person sweating a lot, another whose hair is all frazzled, someone in head to toe neon pink. I just glance, look away and the thought of them goes right out of my head. I don't think people care like you think they do. We are all in our own heads/ schedules/ worries. You can start by going to low traffic trails and use it as a mental health practice to conquer a fear.

What about DH, though? He's the one I'm really afraid to be out of breath in front of. I don't do solo low-traffic trails.

He’s your husband! Who cares if you’re out of breath with him. I feel like you might have issues that go far deeper than being out of breath when you exercise.

Obviously. But I'd like to solve the small issues if I can.

Your small issues are caused by your self esteem and mental health issues. How do you expect anything to change if you don't address those? I've been a size 20 and I'm very familiar with your thought process. But just suck it up and do it and then get some therapy. Or go to the gym.

Lose weight and get an inhaler.

Those are the options. I've even had to stop during sex to use my inhaler.

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Anonymous wrote:You have to stop caring about what you think other people think.

So what if you’re out of breath? Everybody is. I know I am when I go for a walk or walk up the steep hill because I’m also out of shape.

Remember that people are more involved and absorbed in what they are doing to care about what you’re doing. And if it’s other people who are out exercising, they understand being out of breath. So go out and enjoy your walk and don’t even give a thought to anybody else or what you think they’re thinking.

Actually, my 11 year old calls me out on it, because SHE'S not. It's humiliating.

I’m not sure if you are OP. But even if you’re not, you should address your 11 year olds comments head on and not like them humiliate you. They are kids! Straight out tell them they are being rude and not encouraging. Or don’t take them with you. Personally, if that was my kid, I would tell them what they’re doing is rude and it’s not nice. Ask them if they want you to point out every time they do something embarrassing, and then do it. Like a pp said, don’t make excuses for why you don’t walk for exercise.

She wasn't rude about it. She just asked why I couldn't climb the 6-story staircase at Mammoth Cave without being out of breath.

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Anonymous wrote:I might glance in the direction of a heavy breather, someone with a red face, a person sweating a lot, another whose hair is all frazzled, someone in head to toe neon pink. I just glance, look away and the thought of them goes right out of my head. I don't think people care like you think they do. We are all in our own heads/ schedules/ worries. You can start by going to low traffic trails and use it as a mental health practice to conquer a fear.

What about DH, though? He's the one I'm really afraid to be out of breath in front of. I don't do solo low-traffic trails.

He’s your husband! Who cares if you’re out of breath with him. I feel like you might have issues that go far deeper than being out of breath when you exercise.

Obviously. But I'd like to solve the small issues if I can.

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Anonymous wrote:I might glance in the direction of a heavy breather, someone with a red face, a person sweating a lot, another whose hair is all frazzled, someone in head to toe neon pink. I just glance, look away and the thought of them goes right out of my head. I don't think people care like you think they do. We are all in our own heads/ schedules/ worries. You can start by going to low traffic trails and use it as a mental health practice to conquer a fear.

What about DH, though? He's the one I'm really afraid to be out of breath in front of. I don't do solo low-traffic trails.

He’s your husband! Who cares if you’re out of breath with him. I feel like you might have issues that go far deeper than being out of breath when you exercise.

I went and got an inhaler from my doctor. I have exercise induced asthma. Especially if there is a chill in the air. I had people stopping to check on me when I was hiking in Sedona. So embarrassing.

Now I take a puff before I start, and then mid way if needed.