Anonymous wrote:This is all so insane and developed by people who don't get it. What they need is more options to get respite and covered care.

After enough years of just visiting my mom-not doing her care I have learned I am not cut out for this. I think the people who came up with all the techniques to deal with abuse from the elderly can bite me. I think it is completely unethical to keep researching new ways to keep the elderly living longer if we don't have more affordable care options and better ways to prevent mean, nasty again.

I am lucky I was cut out for parenting. I enjoy it. I can manage a lot. I have patience. I would do anything for my kids. You know what I am not cut out for? Having an elderly parent have unpredictable rage fits only for me, shout abusive vile hatred filled words at me and have her then talk to me like I am the one who is nuts...all while also parenting teens, being married and working.

So I am lucky, after enough years of this and the toll it took on my health and family I hired more strangers to deal with that nonsense. She wasn't living in my home. I wasn't helping her with the toilet. I wasn't carrying her and yet I truly thought I'd either have a nervous breakdown or die before she did because suddenly y health was far worse than hers.

What about the people who have elders acting like monsters living in their homes? You think you can force them to take meds? Don't even get me started about that snow method or whatever it's called to deal with mean elders. After over a decade of my own parents and inlaw elderly issues I think it is disturbing and sad that government money is being wasted on this BS rather than paying for other people to take care of the abusive ones. (Oh and for the record, she was no peach before aging and I did backflips to have a decent relationship with her).

This resonates with me so strongly! Trying to set boundaries but this is so hard to live through.

This is all so insane and developed by people who don't get it. What they need is more options to get respite and covered care.

After enough years of just visiting my mom-not doing her care I have learned I am not cut out for this. I think the people who came up with all the techniques to deal with abuse from the elderly can bite me. I think it is completely unethical to keep researching new ways to keep the elderly living longer if we don't have more affordable care options and better ways to prevent mean, nasty again.

I am lucky I was cut out for parenting. I enjoy it. I can manage a lot. I have patience. I would do anything for my kids. You know what I am not cut out for? Having an elderly parent have unpredictable rage fits only for me, shout abusive vile hatred filled words at me and have her then talk to me like I am the one who is nuts...all while also parenting teens, being married and working.

So I am lucky, after enough years of this and the toll it took on my health and family I hired more strangers to deal with that nonsense. She wasn't living in my home. I wasn't helping her with the toilet. I wasn't carrying her and yet I truly thought I'd either have a nervous breakdown or die before she did because suddenly y health was far worse than hers.

What about the people who have elders acting like monsters living in their homes? You think you can force them to take meds? Don't even get me started about that snow method or whatever it's called to deal with mean elders. After over a decade of my own parents and inlaw elderly issues I think it is disturbing and sad that government money is being wasted on this BS rather than paying for other people to take care of the abusive ones. (Oh and for the record, she was no peach before aging and I did backflips to have a decent relationship with her).

Anonymous wrote:Well it's not *just* training.

Caregivers of dementia patients will have access to a Care Navigator...who I guess makes sure that families are aware of all the community services they qualify for. I'm familiar with this type of "help" ... they give you tips and a helpful guide with some website links to community agencies, usually ones that you don't qualify for if you have any kind of assets, or else it's just all self pay.

emphasis is on "enhancing access" but not helping pay for it of course.

https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/07/31/biden-harris-administration-announces-medicare-dementia-care-model.html#:~:text=Under%20the%20model%2C%20people%20with,transportation%20through%20community%2Dbased%20organizations.

Is it possible to transfer assets to you as a child so that the patient qualifies?
Thinking ahead
I think one main residence is usually not counted towards assets too

Anonymous wrote:What would be great is if family caregivers could get paid somehow. So many of us are under/unemployed due to caregiving issues. I don’t need someone to show me how to do something I’m already doing, we need more money.

In CA, if your charge’s income is under about $1600/mo they can get paid caregiving hours and you can be their caregiver

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the family member still gets stuck with the brunt of the 24/7 back breaking, soul crushing work while a "healthcare professional" gets paid to teach them how to do it?

Sorry not impressed.

I’m guessing you’ve never had to learn how to use a hoyer lift to get a disabled person out of bed?

Not just a disabled person but a person who has dementia. No that is not something I would ever attempt by myself no matter how much some trainer makes off of teaching me.

Agree that this proposal doesn't really the change the day to day realities of family caregivers. But fault the GOP that wants to abolish Medicare, not CMS.

Pay family caregivers. Training/technical assistance is not the answer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the family member still gets stuck with the brunt of the 24/7 back breaking, soul crushing work while a "healthcare professional" gets paid to teach them how to do it?

Sorry not impressed.

I’m guessing you’ve never had to learn how to use a hoyer lift to get a disabled person out of bed?

Not just a disabled person but a person who has dementia. No that is not something I would ever attempt by myself no matter how much some trainer makes off of teaching me.

Anonymous wrote:So the family member still gets stuck with the brunt of the 24/7 back breaking, soul crushing work while a "healthcare professional" gets paid to teach them how to do it?

Sorry not impressed.

I’m guessing you’ve never had to learn how to use a hoyer lift to get a disabled person out of bed?

Op, my parents have paid caregivers. They are through an agency and the agency supposedly trains them, but they aren’t CNAs and the training isn’t that great. As my parents age, we are having trouble because many of the caregivers don’t really have good enough skill are using complicated wheelchairs or hoyer lifts. Learning the best ways to help people who fall or need help getting up from a chair. We would gladly pay out of pocket to hire PTs to come help train them, but they don’t live in an affluent area. And here is what I have learned: at least in their not affluent area, if Medicare doesn’t pay for it, the service doesn’t exist.

Hopefully this would help create a way for companies and doctors offices to bill for helping train caregivers.

Honestly we need this for paid caregivers too, not only family caregivers.

So the family member still gets stuck with the brunt of the 24/7 back breaking, soul crushing work while a "healthcare professional" gets paid to teach them how to do it?

Sorry not impressed.

So they’re paying for training, but not the actual care that is being provided by the family? Big whoop.

Anonymous wrote:Well it's not *just* training.

Caregivers of dementia patients will have access to a Care Navigator...who I guess makes sure that families are aware of all the community services they qualify for. I'm familiar with this type of "help" ... they give you tips and a helpful guide with some website links to community agencies, usually ones that you don't qualify for if you have any kind of assets, or else it's just all self pay.

emphasis is on "enhancing access" but not helping pay for it of course.

https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/07/31/biden-harris-administration-announces-medicare-dementia-care-model.html#:~:text=Under%20the%20model%2C%20people%20with,transportation%20through%20community%2Dbased%20organizations.

The problem with community resource navigation services is that a lot of the resources don’t really exist or aren’t available to or suitable for people who aren’t very poor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would be great is if family caregivers could get paid somehow. So many of us are under/unemployed due to caregiving issues. I don’t need someone to show me how to do something I’m already doing, we need more money.

I know someone who got trained/certified as a caregiver and then went to work for an elder care agency, and then the agency only assigned her to assist with her mother after the mom had a stroke.

To add... insurance pays for the care agency but not full time. (pretty sure that is how it works).

Anonymous wrote:What would be great is if family caregivers could get paid somehow. So many of us are under/unemployed due to caregiving issues. I don’t need someone to show me how to do something I’m already doing, we need more money.

I know someone who got trained/certified as a caregiver and then went to work for an elder care agency, and then the agency only assigned her to assist with her mother after the mom had a stroke.