Anonymous wrote:I’ll either stay where I am or, if the kids move far away, I’ll probably move to Europe - might as well. Life is much cheaper, healthcare is good and included in taxes, and I have more friends there.

I’m from an EU country and would love to move home upon retirement, but I wouldn’t have health insurance since I didn’t pay into the system for much of my life.

If my kids are close by, I will stay here. If not, I want to move back to my home country, though I am not sure that is actually feasible.

Anonymous wrote:Would you prefer living near siblings, friends or children if all can't be in same town?

Are we assuming the children will all be in the same area?

I'm planning to move to a CCRC near a major metropolitan area (for the good healthcare), and at the moment, I'm looking at places near DC. But if all my kids moved to Philly or Boston or whatever, I'd be inclined to look close to them, if they agreed.

As my parents got older, they needed more visits and more help, despite being a community with excellent supports. Providing those visits and that help was a lot easier for the kids who lived closer. But if I can't move to someplace that's an easy drive for them, I'd at least want to be near a major airport.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you prefer living near siblings, friends or children if all can't be in same town?

I think this is the real question behind my post.

If I could choose only one, I’d choose my children. In my case, though, my children will most likely settle in different areas. And that seems to be the case for many of my friends and their kids, also.

Op, for most people,
Siblings are scattered around the country. Same for friends. Same for children.

We are fortunate to have an ideal set up. All of our children and grandchildren live near one another so we have a home near them in the summer and a winter home in a warm climate. If they lived all around the country I’m not sure what we’d do with the summer home except we’ve lived there a long time and we have many friends. Moving to a new area just to be near your kids is tough because they have very busy lives and you don’t know anybody.

Has to be near a major airport. We can fly nonstop to each of our (adult) kids. Love this about the DMV. Three airports and NE Amtrak (esp Acela). Do not want the 10 & 15 hrs drive. They dive in opposite directions.

Anonymous wrote:Would you prefer living near siblings, friends or children if all can't be in same town?

I think this is the real question behind my post.

Would you prefer living near siblings, friends or children if all can't be in same town?

Anonymous wrote:I would scenic village near a big city.

For example?

Staying here. The two cities I would consider moving to -- the two I grew up in (divorced parents) -- are just as costly as living here so may as well stay where my community is for as long as I can.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't move close to kids until I knew they were well enough along in their careers and likely to stay put. One of my mother's friend moved to be near her daughter and SIL. SIL lost his job, then struggled because daughter refused to move. A mess.

Many older people can't afford to get out of the big house, because while upkeep is expensive, it is a slow bleed of expense, vs buying something smaller, generally in not as desirable area/neighborhood, for as much or more.

I have a big house to sell is $90,000 real estate commission, 30k prepping and closing costs, most likely 30k prepping and moving costs new place.

At $150k to downsize that’s tough. And with people having kids later or second marriages the kids are not out for good to you are almost 70.

That is a known cost whether you sell or your heir’s sell. With a $1.8m house, you can easily find a place that fits your life better as you age. OTOH, if you love your house and neighborhood, it’s fine to stay put too.

I would scenic village near a big city.

Anonymous wrote:I’ll either stay where I am or, if the kids move far away, I’ll probably move to Europe - might as well. Life is much cheaper, healthcare is good and included in taxes, and I have more friends there.

Are you European?

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't move close to kids until I knew they were well enough along in their careers and likely to stay put. One of my mother's friend moved to be near her daughter and SIL. SIL lost his job, then struggled because daughter refused to move. A mess.

Many older people can't afford to get out of the big house, because while upkeep is expensive, it is a slow bleed of expense, vs buying something smaller, generally in not as desirable area/neighborhood, for as much or more.

I have a big house to sell is $90,000 real estate commission, 30k prepping and closing costs, most likely 30k prepping and moving costs new place.

At $150k to downsize that’s tough. And with people having kids later or second marriages the kids are not out for good to you are almost 70.