Anonymous
09/29/2023 18:24
Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Found out earlier this year that my husband had a multiyear affair. I will absolutely not jump into anything too soon, but when I'm ready and the time is right, I would like to eventually date as I have been with soon to be ex since I was 20yo. In the future, I'd absolutely want to build a long term partnership if not marriage. Will I be datable?
-33yo
-Kids ages 6 and 3, would be open to more with the right person
-Owner of a thriving business, very financially independent
-Genuinely good family of origin and friendships (no drama)
-Take good care of myself as far as working out, staying active, grooming, being put together (but do have diastasis recti from the kids ugh)
-Great cook, adventurous, easy going, open minded, hard worker but leave the stress at work
I've never been on dating apps as they didn't exist last time I was single. Am I likely to be looking at divorced guys with kids in their 40s? How often do you see people you know on the apps? I've been curious to download and poke around just to see what they are like, but divorce isn't public knowledge yet.
My divorce wasn't public knowledge yet when I matched with a teacher from my kids' school. (She taught a younger grade than they'd reached already and would never have them in her classroom). It was kind of fun having a secret and sneaking around (my ex was aware but wasn't 100 percent ready to go fully public yet, and didn't have a problem with it.)
Great for the kids.
Anonymous
09/29/2023 13:34
Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you’re open to being step-mom to his kids, you’ll be fine. If you only want guys around your age who don’t already have kids that’s a tougher sell. But older guys (45+) who don’t have kids might be interested.
Agree. Men your age, never married with no kids aren’t going to be your largest dating pool. They are looking for never married women under 30 to start families with. Your largest pool will be divorced dads with kids, probably older than you. There are outliers, of course, so who knows. But just telling you what to expect.
This is divorced PP and it’s just not true.
OP: you don’t have to date significantly older men. I dated men my age, those slightly older, and those slightly younger.
OP: you don’t have to only date divorced dads. Mostly I dated men with no kids.
OP: you do not have to lower your standards or accept sub-par treatment, as no woman does. You are desirable not despite your divorced and mother status, but because of it.
Don’t read DCUM and internalize all the weird, unaligned with reality beliefs spouted here. It’s a vulnerable time and this won’t be good for your psyche. Take care of yourself.
Anonymous
09/29/2023 13:31
Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Anonymous wrote:You will be datable but most divorced men don't want to get married and have more kids. So, if you are up for a FWB or situationship you will do great.
Do not listen to this a-hole.
You can and will have satisfying, loving relationships if you want to.
Anonymous
09/29/2023 13:28
Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
I think this is an interesting question. My mother divorced my abusive father in her early 30s, and there was never a question that she could date or get married again if she wanted to. And that was 30 years ago. She was (is) beautiful and men have always shown interest. She didn’t want to date or marry ever again. If you are pretty and single, men will show interest. The end.
Anonymous
09/29/2023 13:15
Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
This thread is giving me hope! Got cheated on and blindsided and can’t even imagine dating right now as I focus on healing and stability for my kids. BUT it sounds like things on the other side aren’t so grim.
Anonymous
09/29/2023 13:10
Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Anonymous wrote:If you’re open to being step-mom to his kids, you’ll be fine. If you only want guys around your age who don’t already have kids that’s a tougher sell. But older guys (45+) who don’t have kids might be interested.
Agree. Men your age, never married with no kids aren’t going to be your largest dating pool. They are looking for never married women under 30 to start families with. Your largest pool will be divorced dads with kids, probably older than you. There are outliers, of course, so who knows. But just telling you what to expect.
Anonymous
09/29/2023 13:04
Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
If you’re open to being step-mom to his kids, you’ll be fine. If you only want guys around your age who don’t already have kids that’s a tougher sell. But older guys (45+) who don’t have kids might be interested.
Anonymous
09/29/2023 12:45
Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Anonymous wrote:You will be datable but most divorced men don't want to get married and have more kids. So, if you are up for a FWB or situationship you will do great.
Hmm. The divorced men with kids are the ones who want to get married more than anyone IME.
Anonymous
09/29/2023 12:44
Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Very dateable.
I was 36 with 3 kids and financially independent (I think this is key) and had tons of dates with men in their 30s. Dated a great guy for 4 years starting at 39 and we were the same age.
What happened to the guy?
I eventually realized he just was not the right one for me long term. He is/was great though. I am now with a man I went to college with (and we have 6 kids between us!)
Anonymous
09/29/2023 12:36
Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
You are only 33. I did not even have a kid at 33. I am 46 next week. Then men who want to date me are 27-45. You don't have anything to worry about.
Anonymous
09/29/2023 12:26
Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Anonymous wrote:OP, please don't internalize the DCUM first wives club who like to scare every woman into thinking that if they divorce they will be bitter, angry and lonely.
50% of marriages end in divorce. You aren't alone. There are PLENTY of men out there, both with kids and without. If you are cute and fun and not looking for a new daddy for your kids or a paycheck, you will do just fine.
And no, a childless man will likely not want to date you. Would you want to date him though? Your lifestyle will be foreign to him, which isnt the foundation for a successful relationship.
For the 900th time, 50% of marriages so not end - that has been disproven. And for educated people, the percentage is much lower.
Anonymous
09/29/2023 12:26
Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Very datable. I was in a similar situation demographic wise - divorced at 33 with a 4 and 6 y.o. kids, decent looking and completely independent financially. I had lots of interest from all sorts of men, including younger and never married. I ended up marrying one of them, 6 yrs younger, and we had another child together. We’ve been together for 17 years now.
Anonymous
09/29/2023 12:24
Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Anonymous wrote:Very dateable.
I was 36 with 3 kids and financially independent (I think this is key) and had tons of dates with men in their 30s. Dated a great guy for 4 years starting at 39 and we were the same age.
What happened to the guy?
Anonymous
09/29/2023 12:16
Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
On Tinder you can set your profile so that nobody can see you unless you like them. I did that when I was checking out the scene to see what is out there. I saw a few people I know, but they didnt see me!!
Anonymous
09/29/2023 12:13
Subject: Will I be datable as a divorced mom? Will I see people I know on dating apps?
Anonymous wrote:You will be datable but most divorced men don't want to get married and have more kids. So, if you are up for a FWB or situationship you will do great.
Really? Most divorced men I know w kids absolutely want another wife to help raise their kids.