Anonymous
10/01/2023 00:16
Subject: Pgt gender preference
I get how your husband feels. It’s not easy but it helps feeling that the Child could look like your sig other. We used DE as I had issues with egg quality and I prayed that we’d have a girl so she’d at least have similarities with her dad. We did have a girl thankfully! But she’s a good mix of my husband and our donor. It’s beautiful either way honestly.
Anonymous
09/30/2023 22:46
Subject: Re:Pgt gender preference
We didn’t have to do IVF for the same reason, so your circumstances are somewhat different but I’ll give you my perspective.
I also had a preference for girls but we decided not to find out the sex of our embryos for several reasons.
1) there was so much science involved that I liked the idea of leaving some of this up to “fate” or whatever you want to call it.
2) I knew there was a good chance some transfers would not work and I knew if I knew the sex I would feel worse about miscarrying/failed transfer. (It took until our third transfer to have a successful pregnancy so this did end up happening.)
3) Along the lines of #2, if we only had one girl and transferred first and it didn’t work, I would feel worse than if I didn’t know that.
We did end up with a girl for our first successful pregnancy. Our second child turned out to be a boy - when I found out after transfer I had very mixed feelings since I really wanted another girl but now that he is here I am in love and couldn’t imagine him being someone else. Just some thoughts.
Oh and - if you end up with extra embryos, you may feel very guilty about not practically being able to use them. We have two remaining embryos that we will likely not end up transferring and I feel immense guilt about it. Knowing the sex of those embryos would make it 10x worse (for me - I know other people don’t have any problem with it but just wanted to mention it since it wasn’t something I considered when I was in the midst of going through IVF.)
I also had a preference for girls but we decided not to find out the sex of our embryos for several reasons.
1) there was so much science involved that I liked the idea of leaving some of this up to “fate” or whatever you want to call it.
2) I knew there was a good chance some transfers would not work and I knew if I knew the sex I would feel worse about miscarrying/failed transfer. (It took until our third transfer to have a successful pregnancy so this did end up happening.)
3) Along the lines of #2, if we only had one girl and transferred first and it didn’t work, I would feel worse than if I didn’t know that.
We did end up with a girl for our first successful pregnancy. Our second child turned out to be a boy - when I found out after transfer I had very mixed feelings since I really wanted another girl but now that he is here I am in love and couldn’t imagine him being someone else. Just some thoughts.
Oh and - if you end up with extra embryos, you may feel very guilty about not practically being able to use them. We have two remaining embryos that we will likely not end up transferring and I feel immense guilt about it. Knowing the sex of those embryos would make it 10x worse (for me - I know other people don’t have any problem with it but just wanted to mention it since it wasn’t something I considered when I was in the midst of going through IVF.)
Anonymous
09/29/2023 16:52
Subject: Pgt gender preference
Anonymous wrote:Quick question: why are you doing IVF if your husband is the one with the fertility issue? Do you have issues as well? Or is it just about picking your potential child’s gender?
If I had no issues on my end and was using a sperm donor, I would go the iui route and avoid the hassle and pain of IVF. Please don’t do IVF just so you can have a girl. It’s not worth it.
You cannot control what kind of child you’ll get. And what you think you want right now in the throes of infertility might not be what will make you happy.
We are doing IVF because that's what our REI recommends. We originally started at our clinic for me- 37, PCOS, not ovulating/no periods.
Trust when I say we wouldn't be in this situation or process unless we needed it but very kind of you to assume otherwise