Anonymous
Post 09/27/2023 12:27     Subject: rapid weight gain in a teen


She’s 17! Talk to her! You sound a little nuts. You’re talking about her like she’s 10.


Huh? I'm not talking about her like she's 10. I'm reporting facts in a post. Geez. Don't be an ass.

I'm finding this to be really complex. I don't find it easy to bring up weight, shape, appearance as an issue with my teenage daughter. I have so many friends who had mothers who harped about their weight because they weren't a perfect size 6 and it damaged the relationship and it damaged their own self esteem. I 100% think there is a time and place for these conversations but it doesn't make it easy to tease it out.


I'm a NP. I agree completely that body and appearance issues do need to be handled with care. It's tricky. But it helps to just keep framing it in terms of health, never appearance. A good doctor will do that, too. Good luck!
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2023 12:11     Subject: rapid weight gain in a teen
Have the doctor run some labs, but it is unlikely to be thyroid disorder or anything medically wrong with her. The most likely problem is she is eating too much. I wouldn’t bring that up until you see the doctor and bring up your concern about her rapid weight gain no rule out a medical problem (that has a fix). That way she can be part of the conversation that it isn’t a medical problem, but a food problem. Then you can help her figure out some changes to make.

Does your school offer free breakfast and lunch? Ours does, and the food is all processed junk. Even if she eats at home, she could still be eating all the free crap the hand out at school; chocolate milk, poptarts, mini muffins, lucky charms bars, lots of candy gets handed out in classes as incentives/prizes for various things.
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2023 12:11     Subject: rapid weight gain in a teen
Anonymous wrote:She’s 17, not 7. You need to have a conversation about it. This isn’t a situation where you can say the wrong thing and ruin everything.

Her body may just be different from yours. There’s nothing she can’t do as a size 12, including play sports.

Or there’s something wrong medically and/or eating-wise.

It’s 99.5% out of your hands. She’s nearly an adult and it’s her body. So just have a conversation about it and wrap your head around it being mostly out of your control for more than one reason.


np I couldn't disagree more. I'm sure the dd has eyes and knows she has gained weight. As an almost an adult she doesn't need her parents to shame her about her weight. Let the doctor take the lead. Say nothing. If she brings it up than you can mention something but, do not make it an issue.

For background history and why I am sensitive about weight: My mom was always harping on my weight. Look if telling someone that they need to lose weight actually helped people lose weight we would all be skinny. It does not. It is very hurtful to believe that your parents seem not to love you because of how you look. My mom always said it was "about my health" but, that was a lie. My mom is extreme case but, if you value your relationship tread very very carefully.
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2023 12:01     Subject: rapid weight gain in a teen
I have a thyroid problem and I could stop eating and still gain weight. When it gets out of balance and before my medication gets adjusted, I can easily gain 10-15 lbs in a month from the same amount of food that will cause zero changes when my medication is right.
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2023 11:48     Subject: Re:rapid weight gain in a teen
I’m sorry you and your DD are dealing with this- how stressful. I second the questions about meds…could she possibly be on birth control? It would not be uncommon at her age (and without your knowledge) and can cause weight changes. Otherwise, I’d be thinking a medical issue for sure. A 17yo girl would not normally gain that amount of weight in one year- she would have to be eating an absolutely crazy amount to gain that much IMO.
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2023 11:01     Subject: rapid weight gain in a teen
I would definitely take her to an endocrinologist
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2023 10:49     Subject: rapid weight gain in a teen
Check thyroid gland hormones and glucose levels.
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2023 10:45     Subject: rapid weight gain in a teen
I’m sorry your daughter is experiencing this. It could be medical, though sometimes traumatic events (I.e. sexual abuse) can cause a change in eating patterns. Just because you don’t see her eat more doesn’t mean it’s not happening elsewhere/in private.

Has she exhibited any behavioral changes besides the weight gain? It might be worth having a private talk with her to see if there’s anything she want to share. I’m sure everyone knows, but being a teen is difficult.
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2023 10:44     Subject: rapid weight gain in a teen
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My niece gained a ton of weight her jr/sr years when's he started smoking weed and always had the munchies. Easily 30-40lbs in a year and a half.


OP here. This makes a lot of sense I would bet my life that this isn't a weed problem. This kid is rarely out and about--doesn't go to parties, doesn't go out much period.
Goes to school, does a ton of homework, plays soccer, occasionally goes to dinner with a friend. She's a straight arrow. Doesn't even drink. I've never smelled a whiff of weed on her.
There are really very few hours in the week when her time is not accounted for at our house or at school. I know people are going to say that a kid could do anything on the down low if
given even an hour but I really, really don't think she is smoking weed on the low dow.
(I have another kid who spends hours and hours away from home with friends, at parties, etc--now he could be do just about anything and I wouldn't be surprised by it---I'm not naive at all about kids and their activities).

I'm going to email her doctor and ask to have her labs checked. (lipids, thyroid, blood glucose etc). Something does not add up. I figured out how to check her pediatrician's portal and her weight a year ago was 144 and she's easily 25 pounds heavier (if I'm any judge of weight--which I'm not but I would have honestly guessed she's up by 30 pounds over a year ago). She's a sturdier and strong person at baseline so a 144 on her was a size 6 (whereas it might be an 8 on a super light/slender frame, etc).
UGH. I hate this talk of weight and sizes and all the rest. Hopefully we come up with something. Of all the issues I thought I'd deal with older kids, I hadn't thought of this one because it's not been a major issue in my own life (or that of my husband). Obviously it's not a crisis but it is a quiet and growing concern.


She’s 17! Talk to her! You sound a little nuts. You’re talking about her like she’s 10.


Huh? I'm not talking about her like she's 10. I'm reporting facts in a post. Geez. Don't be an ass.

I'm finding this to be really complex. I don't find it easy to bring up weight, shape, appearance as an issue with my teenage daughter. I have so many friends who had mothers who harped about their weight because they weren't a perfect size 6 and it damaged the relationship and it damaged their own self esteem. I 100% think there is a time and place for these conversations but it doesn't make it easy to tease it out.
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2023 10:39     Subject: rapid weight gain in a teen
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My niece gained a ton of weight her jr/sr years when's he started smoking weed and always had the munchies. Easily 30-40lbs in a year and a half.


OP here. This makes a lot of sense I would bet my life that this isn't a weed problem. This kid is rarely out and about--doesn't go to parties, doesn't go out much period.
Goes to school, does a ton of homework, plays soccer, occasionally goes to dinner with a friend. She's a straight arrow. Doesn't even drink. I've never smelled a whiff of weed on her.
There are really very few hours in the week when her time is not accounted for at our house or at school. I know people are going to say that a kid could do anything on the down low if
given even an hour but I really, really don't think she is smoking weed on the low dow.
(I have another kid who spends hours and hours away from home with friends, at parties, etc--now he could be do just about anything and I wouldn't be surprised by it---I'm not naive at all about kids and their activities).

I'm going to email her doctor and ask to have her labs checked. (lipids, thyroid, blood glucose etc). Something does not add up. I figured out how to check her pediatrician's portal and her weight a year ago was 144 and she's easily 25 pounds heavier (if I'm any judge of weight--which I'm not but I would have honestly guessed she's up by 30 pounds over a year ago). She's a sturdier and strong person at baseline so a 144 on her was a size 6 (whereas it might be an 8 on a super light/slender frame, etc).
UGH. I hate this talk of weight and sizes and all the rest. Hopefully we come up with something. Of all the issues I thought I'd deal with older kids, I hadn't thought of this one because it's not been a major issue in my own life (or that of my husband). Obviously it's not a crisis but it is a quiet and growing concern.


She’s 17! Talk to her! You sound a little nuts. You’re talking about her like she’s 10.
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2023 10:38     Subject: rapid weight gain in a teen
Anonymous wrote:I overindulged in junk food for a straight 6 or 8 years in my 40s (even eating junky meals) to go from a size 6 to a size 12 at 5'4. I didn't gain 30 pounds in a year and I was eating complete crap and tons of calories. I really don't think it's food related.

Agree with PPs that it could be PCOS hormonal BC, or something else. It is not from "sneaking" a cookie or a frappuccino.


Oh no, I can absolutely gain 30lbs in a year from extra junk food every day. Definitely. I could do it just with lunch.
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2023 10:35     Subject: rapid weight gain in a teen
Anonymous wrote:My niece gained a ton of weight her jr/sr years when's he started smoking weed and always had the munchies. Easily 30-40lbs in a year and a half.


OP here. This makes a lot of sense I would bet my life that this isn't a weed problem. This kid is rarely out and about--doesn't go to parties, doesn't go out much period.
Goes to school, does a ton of homework, plays soccer, occasionally goes to dinner with a friend. She's a straight arrow. Doesn't even drink. I've never smelled a whiff of weed on her.
There are really very few hours in the week when her time is not accounted for at our house or at school. I know people are going to say that a kid could do anything on the down low if
given even an hour but I really, really don't think she is smoking weed on the low dow.
(I have another kid who spends hours and hours away from home with friends, at parties, etc--now he could be do just about anything and I wouldn't be surprised by it---I'm not naive at all about kids and their activities).

I'm going to email her doctor and ask to have her labs checked. (lipids, thyroid, blood glucose etc). Something does not add up. I figured out how to check her pediatrician's portal and her weight a year ago was 144 and she's easily 25 pounds heavier (if I'm any judge of weight--which I'm not but I would have honestly guessed she's up by 30 pounds over a year ago). She's a sturdier and strong person at baseline so a 144 on her was a size 6 (whereas it might be an 8 on a super light/slender frame, etc).
UGH. I hate this talk of weight and sizes and all the rest. Hopefully we come up with something. Of all the issues I thought I'd deal with older kids, I hadn't thought of this one because it's not been a major issue in my own life (or that of my husband). Obviously it's not a crisis but it is a quiet and growing concern.
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2023 10:03     Subject: rapid weight gain in a teen
My niece gained a ton of weight her jr/sr years when's he started smoking weed and always had the munchies. Easily 30-40lbs in a year and a half.
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2023 08:13     Subject: rapid weight gain in a teen
Anonymous wrote:OP here. She doesn't take any medications (no birth control pills).
I really don't think she's buying snacks or food on a regular basis. She goes to a private school and they don't sell snacks and she doesn't walk anywhere to buy junk food.
I've definitely thought about this possibility--but I'm just not seeing any evidence of it (no wrappers, no receipts, no charges on her card.) Plus we don't shame food--we're not a no-junk household (although recently I've been cutting way back) so there's no reason she would go to great lengths to hide junk food.


Could be PCOS or thyroid.
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2023 08:09     Subject: rapid weight gain in a teen
I would definitely take her to a specialist. Her body is trying to tell you both that something isn’t right.