Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 21:23     Subject: Living in the same house after divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are filling for divorce and it will be amicable. However for financial reasons and for our kids as well we have decided to still live in the same house. I will be sleeping in a room downstairs and DW in a room upstairs. And we further both agree we will have separate lives outside the home and will not introduce our new partners to our kids. Our kids turn 18 in 7 years and at that point we have decided that we will sell the house and go our separate ways.

I know this is a very unusual arrangement and want to hears folks’ experience, knowledge, opinion about such an arrangement.

You can't rent a one bedroom nearby and do a birdnesting divorce? Seven years, lol.


Nesting is annoying and we haven't even been doing it for a year.

I cannot imagine committing to seven years of it.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 21:06     Subject: Living in the same house after divorce
You guys should sell the house and buy a duplex together.

Solves all your problems!
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 20:59     Subject: Living in the same house after divorce
Anonymous wrote:We are filling for divorce and it will be amicable. However for financial reasons and for our kids as well we have decided to still live in the same house. I will be sleeping in a room downstairs and DW in a room upstairs. And we further both agree we will have separate lives outside the home and will not introduce our new partners to our kids. Our kids turn 18 in 7 years and at that point we have decided that we will sell the house and go our separate ways.

I know this is a very unusual arrangement and want to hears folks’ experience, knowledge, opinion about such an arrangement.

You can't rent a one bedroom nearby and do a birdnesting divorce? Seven years, lol.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 20:57     Subject: Living in the same house after divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My reaction is, I have dated plenty of divorced dads, and there is no way in hell I would date a man with that set up.


Maybe you should stop being so damned slutty.


What the h? What do you know of my dating life? Just because I have dated or gone on a date with a guy doesn't mean I had sex with them.

And even if I had, stop shaming.


What I know about your dating life is what you just told me: you date “lots of divorced men.” You clearly get around. It’s funny how you say you’d never want one in OP’s situation, but apparently you can’t find one in ANY situation that you’re happy with. Or maybe you should look in the mirror?


I am currently engaged to a divorced dad. We have been dating three years. Before him, I had three three month relationships with three divorced dads but broke it off because they werent long term fits. I also went on one to three dates with probably five other divorced guys, because at my age, that's most of the dating pool. Out of all of these men, I had sex with two of them.

Im guessing you are an ex wife who doesn't like the idea of your ex dating other women. Get over it. You divorced him.

Why are you defending yourself to this loser? You don’t owe them any explanation or you’re dating history. And who cares if you slept with all of your dates? Still your business.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 20:57     Subject: Living in the same house after divorce
I wouldn't worry about dating. No one decent will want anything to do with you once they find out that you are still living with your spouse.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 20:54     Subject: Living in the same house after divorce
Anonymous wrote:honestly sounds like you want a nonmonogamous partnership. why not try it without filing for divorce first? potentially save yourselves some headaches and money. if it doesn’t go well you just divorce and are no worse off!


You mean a nonromantic partnership.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 20:54     Subject: Living in the same house after divorce
Anonymous wrote:That is some terrible relationship modeling you are doing for your children.


What would be better?
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 20:52     Subject: Living in the same house after divorce
Anonymous wrote:My reaction is, I have dated plenty of divorced dads, and there is no way in hell I would date a man with that set up.


As a divorced dad I think this is a common sentiment. Women are usually understanding that separation can mean living under the same roof sometimes, and that divorce takes time.

But a guy who is legally divorced and still lives with his ex? Doesn't want his own space and own path? A lot of women would be confused, put off, and not want to bother.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 20:47     Subject: Re:Living in the same house after divorce
Who knows- maybe you’ll fall in love again and get remarried. Anything can happen, never say never.

In the meantime, be nice to each other.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 20:29     Subject: Living in the same house after divorce
I did this for about a year. Most of my divorced friends did also (we are an amiable bunch). I only know of one person who did it longer, but the wife was sick and the husband stayed half the time in another place. Try it for a bit but keep an open mind.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 20:27     Subject: Living in the same house after divorce
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My reaction is, I have dated plenty of divorced dads, and there is no way in hell I would date a man with that set up.


Maybe you should stop being so damned slutty.


What the h? What do you know of my dating life? Just because I have dated or gone on a date with a guy doesn't mean I had sex with them.

And even if I had, stop shaming.


What I know about your dating life is what you just told me: you date “lots of divorced men.” You clearly get around. It’s funny how you say you’d never want one in OP’s situation, but apparently you can’t find one in ANY situation that you’re happy with. Or maybe you should look in the mirror?


I am currently engaged to a divorced dad. We have been dating three years. Before him, I had three three month relationships with three divorced dads but broke it off because they werent long term fits. I also went on one to three dates with probably five other divorced guys, because at my age, that's most of the dating pool. Out of all of these men, I had sex with two of them.

Im guessing you are an ex wife who doesn't like the idea of your ex dating other women. Get over it. You divorced him.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 20:24     Subject: Living in the same house after divorce
That is some terrible relationship modeling you are doing for your children.
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 20:23     Subject: Living in the same house after divorce
Anonymous wrote:honestly sounds like you want a nonmonogamous partnership. why not try it without filing for divorce first? potentially save yourselves some headaches and money. if it doesn’t go well you just divorce and are no worse off!


Not a bad idea!
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 20:19     Subject: Living in the same house after divorce
honestly sounds like you want a nonmonogamous partnership. why not try it without filing for divorce first? potentially save yourselves some headaches and money. if it doesn’t go well you just divorce and are no worse off!
Anonymous
Post 09/25/2023 20:11     Subject: Living in the same house after divorce
Anonymous wrote:There was a NYT article about it. I think it’s doable. Parenting kids in two different houses is a logistical nightmare.

Anyway, you can always wait and see how you feel in a year or two.


From personal experience- not a logistical nightmare. Actually much smoother than when married, honestly, since schedule / costs etc are part of enforceable contract