Anonymous wrote:It depends on which friend. That’s always been my question. Certain friends can be here when we aren’t, others can’t. That was true at those ages and true now that they are older.

The kid we know that openly vapes and does drugs or the or the one that brags about driving his parent’s car in the night while they sleep are not allowed here.

This is what I do as well. I have no issues with certain friends and will leave them home without a thought. My youngest is 11 and even she has one friend that I don't mind them being home alone, either at my house or the friend's.

It depends on which friend. That’s always been my question. Certain friends can be here when we aren’t, others can’t. That was true at those ages and true now that they are older.

The kid we know that openly vapes and does drugs or the or the one that brags about driving his parent’s car in the night while they sleep are not allowed here.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. FWIW I allow my kids to go to public places by themselves, with or without friends, and they are generally careful and rule-abiding. But somehow being in another person's house with friends and without parents seems riskier. As I wrong about that?

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I don't think you're wrong. Kids can get into a hell of a lot more in someone's home then they can in public at that age.

Depends on the kid.

As to what they could be up to, 13 year olds can invite a bunch of people to the house (who can walk over where I live) and by that age some of them are vaping and getting into booze in parent's house or if it's co-ed, they can be fooling around at your house. 13 at this point in the year is an 8th grader. The "fast" crowd in 8th grade is into this stuff.

No

Those ages? Nope. Teenagers, it depends on the kid. One of my kids is very responsible and a rule follower, I'd let her. The other one is a handful, I would not let her.

Anonymous wrote:My answer is different based on which kids we are talking about. My 14 ds and his best friend, who are so responsible it is funny, sure no problem . My 15 ds who has impulse control issues not a chance.

Your 15 year old has to be chaperoned with a friend? I am assuming this is a mental illness thing. I think I was taking road trips with older friends out of state at that age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. FWIW I allow my kids to go to public places by themselves, with or without friends, and they are generally careful and rule-abiding. But somehow being in another person's house with friends and without parents seems riskier. As I wrong about that?

It is definitely riskier for your child to be out in public by him or herself than to be watching TV or whatever they are doing at a freind's home in a nice neighborhood. Seriously, do you think they are playing with the steak knives or what?

+1
The group is usually doing the exact same thing when I arrive as when I left

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is 11. I would allow it with kids/families I know.

+1
I have had a group of 11s over while I stepped out but they have access to a phone and are not looking to start trouble or break things. They are very respectful and responsible in terms of checking each other too.

...I'm going to add we've allowed this since they were 9 but for shorter trips back then. I can think of 2 kids I would not allow alone here but my kids don't see them often so it hasn't come up

Anonymous wrote:One of my kids I would have allowed this with, one I absolutely would not have. Ever.

Same. My oldest? Absolutely. Younger sibling? No way in hell.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. FWIW I allow my kids to go to public places by themselves, with or without friends, and they are generally careful and rule-abiding. But somehow being in another person's house with friends and without parents seems riskier. As I wrong about that?

It is definitely riskier for your child to be out in public by him or herself than to be watching TV or whatever they are doing at a freind's home in a nice neighborhood. Seriously, do you think they are playing with the steak knives or what?

My answer is different based on which kids we are talking about. My 14 ds and his best friend, who are so responsible it is funny, sure no problem . My 15 ds who has impulse control issues not a chance.

Anonymous wrote:My kid is 11. I would allow it with kids/families I know.

+1
I have had a group of 11s over while I stepped out but they have access to a phone and are not looking to start trouble or break things. They are very respectful and responsible in terms of checking each other too.

Totally ok. I would prefer a friend be here than the kid be home alone. What are they going to do? My kids don't snoop, etc. They have access to the internet all the time. Aside from some sort of cooking fire, what are you worried about?

Not that young. 15 or 16, yeah. But definitely not at 10 through 13.