Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 15:45     Subject: The hangout house?
Anonymous wrote:Please tell how not to be the hangout house. I chose a neighborhood that wasn't walkable and bam my daughter has 4 friends less a mile away. It stinks tonhave strangers kids in my house eating my food and invading my space. I hate it


Provide raisins and water only, and only when asked. Insist on sitting in the same room as the kids are. Don't get dressed when they're over - just wear a bathrobe, no bra. Don't shave your legs. Insist on watching shows on tv you want to watch. Chastise them for talking when it's not commercials. If they try to go to your daughter's bedroom don't ever let them close the door. Insist they sit properly on chairs - never on the floor or bed, never with a leg tucked under them or criss cross. Repeatedly ask when they're being picked up. At the time they're supposed to be picked up, suggest they go wait outside for their parents. You know, be my mother. Then no kids will want to come to your house and your daughter will be made fun of, then ridiculed and bullied and definitely have no friends until she leaves for college.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 15:43     Subject: The hangout house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We have social elementary school kids and our house is a block from school. I’d love for our house to become the hangout house for them and their friends, but what age would that start happening? When did your kids start regularly going to other kid’s homes without it being orchestrated by you and their parents?


The hangout house is the one where the parents aren’t around. So unless you both work full time, this is an unlikely scenario.


Untrue. We live in NYC and DH and I both work from home, so one of us at least is always around. Our kids constantly have friends over. I often think one kid is coming home with mine after school and two extras show up. Not all kids are trying to hook up, drink and do drugs.


It has less to do with drugs, hooking up and drinking and more to do with the illusion of independence and wanting space away from adults. You will see this after ninth grade. Before that the mommies are still very involved.

Once they start driving, everything reshuffles
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 15:42     Subject: The hangout house?
This thread is annoying.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 15:40     Subject: The hangout house?
Anonymous wrote:Please tell how not to be the hangout house. I chose a neighborhood that wasn't walkable and bam my daughter has 4 friends less a mile away. It stinks tonhave strangers kids in my house eating my food and invading my space. I hate it


If you get to know them, they won't be strangers. They may be great kids.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 15:39     Subject: The hangout house?
We alternate with another family's home being the hangout house for a group of 17y olds...and have been for the last 7 years or so.

Part of it depends on your kid(s.) My kid doesn't mind us being home and isn't trying to get away from home all the time so he initiates by inviting his friends over. We let them have their space (in the basement) but don't hide out from them and feed them (snacks, dinner, etc.) Yes, it is more expensive for us, but we enjoy having them at our home and it won't be forever. We don't have a large home (townhouse) and don't have a ton of extras (just tv and gaming systems) so you don't have to be extravagant to be "that home" - you just need to be hospitable.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 15:26     Subject: The hangout house?
Please tell how not to be the hangout house. I chose a neighborhood that wasn't walkable and bam my daughter has 4 friends less a mile away. It stinks tonhave strangers kids in my house eating my food and invading my space. I hate it
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 15:26     Subject: The hangout house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We have social elementary school kids and our house is a block from school. I’d love for our house to become the hangout house for them and their friends, but what age would that start happening? When did your kids start regularly going to other kid’s homes without it being orchestrated by you and their parents?


The hangout house is the one where the parents aren’t around. So unless you both work full time, this is an unlikely scenario.


Untrue. We live in NYC and DH and I both work from home, so one of us at least is always around. Our kids constantly have friends over. I often think one kid is coming home with mine after school and two extras show up. Not all kids are trying to hook up, drink and do drugs.


Yes, I totally agree. So many have such a negative view of teens. I guess they just because they or they're kids did that stuff all teens will.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 15:16     Subject: The hangout house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that any of posters on this thread - who sound like nerds, and whose kids sound like nerds - would ever become the hangout house.

You have to be cool and not force it.


I dunno. Both dh and I work from home. We were both nerds growing up. Our DDs are pretty nerdy. Our house is the hangout home but kinda accidentally. We always have food, have a large trampoline and a large basement with big tv...seems to engage them. However , I don't really hover - just hand out snacks, give them my Wi-Fi password, and tell them when their parents are here to pick them up. Usually I am working or cooking or doing housework. We don't have a ton of rules but usually it's them doing their HW and then going on the trampoline - pretty harmless. My kids are in middle school.


Does your insurance company know about your trampoline? Most won’t even insure a house with one. I would never let my kids go to someone’s house and jump around on a trampoline. You’re asking for trouble.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 15:14     Subject: The hangout house?
Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to believe that any of posters on this thread - who sound like nerds, and whose kids sound like nerds - would ever become the hangout house.

You have to be cool and not force it.


I dunno. Both dh and I work from home. We were both nerds growing up. Our DDs are pretty nerdy. Our house is the hangout home but kinda accidentally. We always have food, have a large trampoline and a large basement with big tv...seems to engage them. However , I don't really hover - just hand out snacks, give them my Wi-Fi password, and tell them when their parents are here to pick them up. Usually I am working or cooking or doing housework. We don't have a ton of rules but usually it's them doing their HW and then going on the trampoline - pretty harmless. My kids are in middle school.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 14:52     Subject: The hangout house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We have social elementary school kids and our house is a block from school. I’d love for our house to become the hangout house for them and their friends, but what age would that start happening? When did your kids start regularly going to other kid’s homes without it being orchestrated by you and their parents?


The hangout house is the one where the parents aren’t around. So unless you both work full time, this is an unlikely scenario.


Untrue. We live in NYC and DH and I both work from home, so one of us at least is always around. Our kids constantly have friends over. I often think one kid is coming home with mine after school and two extras show up. Not all kids are trying to hook up, drink and do drugs.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 14:45     Subject: The hangout house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We have social elementary school kids and our house is a block from school. I’d love for our house to become the hangout house for them and their friends, but what age would that start happening? When did your kids start regularly going to other kid’s homes without it being orchestrated by you and their parents?


The hangout house is the one where the parents aren’t around. So unless you both work full time, this is an unlikely scenario.


Not entirely true.
I work from home and am usually up in my bedroom or in my office -- we have a huge family room and living room, so our house always ends up as the hangout house after school and on weekends.

We have an open door policy, I always keep my fridge and pantry very well stocked with snacks, fruit, frozen pizzas and drinks, we have a 70" TV in the family room and a 60" in the living room, my son has all of his gaming systems & VR goggles in the family room, they have a ton of games like cards against humanity and the card game werewolf, they can make a much noise as they want and it won't bother us, we have a fire pit out back for smores making and the biggest incentive... we make ourselves scarce and allow them their fun time without being overbearing (although, on weekends, I'll pop into the kitchen to grab a drink or something, and my 16 year old son's friends will come up and hug me and say things like "wanna come hang out, momma?" and of course I know they're only saying this because they know I never will, but it's sweet).

OP, make your house comfortable, homey, and a place where kids can feel safe and relax... but most of all, make yourself scarce and they'll come flocking!




This is super helpful, thanks! What age did they start coming over? Do you speak with their parents in advance or do they just show up?


Wow you two are really funny
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 14:41     Subject: The hangout house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We have social elementary school kids and our house is a block from school. I’d love for our house to become the hangout house for them and their friends, but what age would that start happening? When did your kids start regularly going to other kid’s homes without it being orchestrated by you and their parents?


The hangout house is the one where the parents aren’t around. So unless you both work full time, this is an unlikely scenario.


Not entirely true.
I work from home and am usually up in my bedroom or in my office -- we have a huge family room and living room, so our house always ends up as the hangout house after school and on weekends.

We have an open door policy, I always keep my fridge and pantry very well stocked with snacks, fruit, frozen pizzas and drinks, we have a 70" TV in the family room and a 60" in the living room, my son has all of his gaming systems & VR goggles in the family room, they have a ton of games like cards against humanity and the card game werewolf, they can make a much noise as they want and it won't bother us, we have a fire pit out back for smores making and the biggest incentive... we make ourselves scarce and allow them their fun time without being overbearing (although, on weekends, I'll pop into the kitchen to grab a drink or something, and my 16 year old son's friends will come up and hug me and say things like "wanna come hang out, momma?" and of course I know they're only saying this because they know I never will, but it's sweet).

OP, make your house comfortable, homey, and a place where kids can feel safe and relax... but most of all, make yourself scarce and they'll come flocking!




This is super helpful, thanks! What age did they start coming over? Do you speak with their parents in advance or do they just show up?
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 13:47     Subject: The hangout house?
I find it hard to believe that any of posters on this thread - who sound like nerds, and whose kids sound like nerds - would ever become the hangout house.

You have to be cool and not force it.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 13:40     Subject: The hangout house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We have social elementary school kids and our house is a block from school. I’d love for our house to become the hangout house for them and their friends, but what age would that start happening? When did your kids start regularly going to other kid’s homes without it being orchestrated by you and their parents?


The hangout house is the one where the parents aren’t around. So unless you both work full time, this is an unlikely scenario.


100% this.


The houses where both parents work out of the home is the house where teens go to have sex.
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2023 13:25     Subject: The hangout house?
Kids start arranging their own affairs in middle school.