Anonymous
Post 09/23/2023 09:11     Subject: Post nup after wife starts earning more
I think maybe you should just get divorced, OP. It doesn’t sound like you’re in a partnership at all.

I say that as someone in a marriage with separate accounts - we’re pretty independent. But it’s still joint assets.
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2023 09:11     Subject: Post nup after wife starts earning more
Anonymous wrote:This will not hold up in court.


Even if he agrees to it?

Anonymous
Post 09/23/2023 09:10     Subject: Post nup after wife starts earning more
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Married 9 years. I’m the wife, and and now making 3X DH’s salary. He is not money motivated (scientist), and I feel alone in my by goals to work hard to build wealth.

I would like to match his salary in a joint account for our living expenses and keep the rest for myself. He says he is not opposed to this. Has anyone ever done anything like this? Is it very unreasonable of me to feel this way?

I’m hoping this can assuage my resentment. If I could go back I would marry someone with better aligned values, but I can’t go back in time. Marriage is otherwise decent.

We have a child with another on the way so I don’t want to frivolously divorce.



What would your reaction be if the situation were reversed and he made this sort of request?


I would know that it meant he didn’t view our marriage as a fair partnership split, rightly or wrongly, and I would plan accordingly.
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2023 09:08     Subject: Post nup after wife starts earning more
*think you can do better unless there is someone already in waiting
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2023 09:07     Subject: Post nup after wife starts earning more
Anonymous wrote:This will not hold up in court.


He knows that’s why he is sitting tight. He has her number.
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2023 09:07     Subject: Post nup after wife starts earning more
Post nups are unfair and first sign of one's plan to divorce when it's convenient. Its clear that with one small kid and other on the way, its not convenient but you are paving the path because you know you can do better now.
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2023 09:07     Subject: Re:Post nup after wife starts earning more
35 years of marriage gives both of us an opportunity to look back at what we have achieved in our life, marriage, children, family, society and profession, the ups and downs, the people we have lost along the way, the new relationships etc, and in all of this we feel gratitude for each other. Money is the least important achievement for us. Yes, it is important as a resource and tool to meet our goals, but our achievement in life has been our partnership, our relationships with others and our children.
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2023 09:04     Subject: Post nup after wife starts earning more
This will not hold up in court.
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2023 09:02     Subject: Post nup after wife starts earning more
Anonymous wrote:Married 9 years. I’m the wife, and and now making 3X DH’s salary. He is not money motivated (scientist), and I feel alone in my by goals to work hard to build wealth.

I would like to match his salary in a joint account for our living expenses and keep the rest for myself. He says he is not opposed to this. Has anyone ever done anything like this? Is it very unreasonable of me to feel this way?

I’m hoping this can assuage my resentment. If I could go back I would marry someone with better aligned values, but I can’t go back in time. Marriage is otherwise decent.

We have a child with another on the way so I don’t want to frivolously divorce.



Every successful marriage I see, they have joint finances. Its "our money", not "my money" or "your money", no matter if both earn equally or theirs is a disparity. If you are into money, manage it yourself but no need to divide it. There is more to life than money.
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2023 09:01     Subject: Post nup after wife starts earning more
Fleischman is in trouble
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2023 09:00     Subject: Post nup after wife starts earning more
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t sound like you love or respect the poor guy. Do him a favor and divorce him now.


Is that fair to my kids? I don’t hate him. We get along acceptably well, and we are doing a good job providing our kids with a nice childhood.



Or he should divorce YOU now. That way he will be able to collect a nice chunk of alimony and child support.
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2023 09:00     Subject: Post nup after wife starts earning more
Anonymous wrote:Married 9 years. I’m the wife, and and now making 3X DH’s salary. He is not money motivated (scientist), and I feel alone in my by goals to work hard to build wealth.

I would like to match his salary in a joint account for our living expenses and keep the rest for myself. He says he is not opposed to this. Has anyone ever done anything like this? Is it very unreasonable of me to feel this way?

I’m hoping this can assuage my resentment. If I could go back I would marry someone with better aligned values, but I can’t go back in time. Marriage is otherwise decent.

We have a child with another on the way so I don’t want to frivolously divorce.



What would your reaction be if the situation were reversed and he made this sort of request?
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2023 08:54     Subject: Post nup after wife starts earning more
Anonymous wrote:Doesn’t sound like you love or respect the poor guy. Do him a favor and divorce him now.


Is that fair to my kids? I don’t hate him. We get along acceptably well, and we are doing a good job providing our kids with a nice childhood.

Anonymous
Post 09/23/2023 08:52     Subject: Post nup after wife starts earning more
Anonymous wrote:Can you focus on joint goals that you may not have achieved for now? For example, use your extra earnings to fully fund 529 plans, and get an agreement from him that in the event of divorce, they will be deemed assets of the children, managed by you? Maybe you live off your matched joint earnings and you invest your excess in accounts you control?


This is exactly what I’m thinking. Except if our marriage breaks down I want to fully keep those accounts (not 529s) I control.
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2023 08:52     Subject: Post nup after wife starts earning more
Doesn’t sound like you love or respect the poor guy. Do him a favor and divorce him now.