Anonymous
Post 09/21/2023 22:19     Subject: Re:I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
It matters in that the college network has an effect on your life. Education wise, you are better of at a smaller college where your classes are taught by professors vs. grad students.
Anonymous
Post 09/21/2023 22:15     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
If school doesn’t matter, why do so many privileged families spend a fortune trying to buy a home in a good school pyramid? College is just another school.
Anonymous
Post 09/21/2023 22:12     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.


I'm sorry but I just don't agree that this applies to everyone. The assumption that wealth & eduction correlates with Middle class white culture is so off-putting. I'm asian and a child of immigrants- I've seen way too many successful lives destroyed by events that would never be life 'destroyers' for their white peers b/c of a lack of exposure to ideas/UMC ways of doing things and confidence. The difference that going to a top ten law school would make for my kid even though their parents are lawyers will be much much bigger than it is for your kids and there are plenty of immigrants, brown and black people and even first generation college grad white posters here and we know better than you how social mobility works b/c its something we have experienced for ourselves, not just read about in the Atlantic and VOX. I've seen first hand the difference in girls who go to George mason vs. even UVA/George Washington and what they've gone on to do with their lives. Exposure to a wider set of possibilities and the self concept that you are one of the ppl who should be applying to post docs at Magdalen college and MS at LSE and opening businesses with friends you met at NYU Beijing are vastly different than a fed contractor driving to target and their home in Burke with no USAID/FSO posting in sight day after miserable day. Many ppl on here have benefited from their superior merit and work ethic and want make sure that their kids move that one rung up to having even more choices and possibilities when their grandparents struggled and sacrificed. That is what ppl move here for, if I wanted to keep treading water, my father should've stayed home and not left his family and everyone he held dear.


Just one point, the rankings of law schools actually matters for everyone attending. Very different than undergrad.
Anonymous
Post 09/21/2023 22:10     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.


I'm sorry but I just don't agree that this applies to everyone. The assumption that wealth & eduction correlates with Middle class white culture is so off-putting. I'm asian and a child of immigrants- I've seen way too many successful lives destroyed by events that would never be life 'destroyers' for their white peers b/c of a lack of exposure to ideas/UMC ways of doing things and confidence. The difference that going to a top ten law school would make for my kid even though their parents are lawyers will be much much bigger than it is for your kids and there are plenty of immigrants, brown and black people and even first generation college grad white posters here and we know better than you how social mobility works b/c its something we have experienced for ourselves, not just read about in the Atlantic and VOX. I've seen first hand the difference in girls who go to George mason vs. even UVA/George Washington and what they've gone on to do with their lives. Exposure to a wider set of possibilities and the self concept that you are one of the ppl who should be applying to post docs at Magdalen college and MS at LSE and opening businesses with friends you met at NYU Beijing are vastly different than a fed contractor driving to target and their home in Burke with no USAID/FSO posting in sight day after miserable day. Many ppl on here have benefited from their superior merit and work ethic and want make sure that their kids move that one rung up to having even more choices and possibilities when their grandparents struggled and sacrificed. That is what ppl move here for, if I wanted to keep treading water, my father should've stayed home and not left his family and everyone he held dear.


Again, I don't care. The American university system should not be structured to make the lives of "immigrants, brown and black people" better. Everyone should get the exact same opportunity based on their academic merit not their skin color or recent arrival in the country.
Anonymous
Post 09/21/2023 22:08     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.


I'm sorry but I just don't agree that this applies to everyone. The assumption that wealth & eduction correlates with Middle class white culture is so off-putting. I'm asian and a child of immigrants- I've seen way too many successful lives destroyed by events that would never be life 'destroyers' for their white peers b/c of a lack of exposure to ideas/UMC ways of doing things and confidence. The difference that going to a top ten law school would make for my kid even though their parents are lawyers will be much much bigger than it is for your kids and there are plenty of immigrants, brown and black people and even first generation college grad white posters here and we know better than you how social mobility works b/c its something we have experienced for ourselves, not just read about in the Atlantic and VOX. I've seen first hand the difference in girls who go to George mason vs. even UVA/George Washington and what they've gone on to do with their lives. Exposure to a wider set of possibilities and the self concept that you are one of the ppl who should be applying to post docs at Magdalen college and MS at LSE and opening businesses with friends you met at NYU Beijing are vastly different than a fed contractor driving to target and their home in Burke with no USAID/FSO posting in sight day after miserable day. Many ppl on here have benefited from their superior merit and work ethic and want make sure that their kids move that one rung up to having even more choices and possibilities when their grandparents struggled and sacrificed. That is what ppl move here for, if I wanted to keep treading water, my father should've stayed home and not left his family and everyone he held dear.


I live in Burke and I like to shop at Target, livin’ the dream.

Learn to relax, you’ll live longer.



Anonymous
Post 09/21/2023 22:07     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:As a PP said earlier, it doesn’t matter only if you are white. The right acceptance for some POC will change the life trajectory of an entire family.


Guess what, I don't care. I don't think that's a reason the colleges should admit POC kids in preference to white kids. Those POC kids will do just fine if they attend a state university.
Anonymous
Post 09/21/2023 22:01     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Imho college matters, hard work matters, mental health matters, major matters, IQ matters, EQ matters, teachers matter, social, athletic, extracurricular opportunities and experiences matter. Everything matters but one can make up with other things for whatever is lacking. If other things doesn't add up then you can't make up.
Anonymous
Post 09/21/2023 21:54     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:As a PP said earlier, it doesn’t matter only if you are white. The right acceptance for some POC will change the life trajectory of an entire family.


Research has shown exactly this. Where you go to college matters more for first gen students, students of color, and students from low income families.

As my children are none of these things, I was not obsessed with prestige but rather what we could afford.
Anonymous
Post 09/21/2023 21:50     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:If it does not matter, then people should be perfectly content with sending their kid to a community college.

If you dont, then you are saying it matters where your kid goes to college.

People can say whatever they want, look at what they actually do.

If it does not matter, we wont have this forum and people wont bother posting here. The very fact that you are posting here means, you think where you go to college matters.


This is silly. I loved college and want my kids to have the full experience-- moving away from home, living in a dorm on a college campus. That experience is not available at our local community college.
Anonymous
Post 09/21/2023 21:48     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
As a PP said earlier, it doesn’t matter only if you are white. The right acceptance for some POC will change the life trajectory of an entire family.
Anonymous
Post 09/21/2023 21:18     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but it doesn’t matter. It matters to the the overbearing helicopter parent that wear their kid’s college brand like a designer handbag and that we will be directionless and aimless when DC leaves the nest. But for your kid, their employer will care that they went to school but not where. The exception, of course, is on both extremes. If they go to a top 5-7 school, great, they get bonus points (except for the many employers that specifically don’t want someone with those credentials because they tend to believe that they are entitled to an accelerated journey). On the other extreme, if they went to an online school or a super esoteric school, there better be a good reason.

Other than that, schools #7-150 or so are completely interchangeable in the real world.


I'm sorry but I just don't agree that this applies to everyone. The assumption that wealth & eduction correlates with Middle class white culture is so off-putting. I'm asian and a child of immigrants- I've seen way too many successful lives destroyed by events that would never be life 'destroyers' for their white peers b/c of a lack of exposure to ideas/UMC ways of doing things and confidence. The difference that going to a top ten law school would make for my kid even though their parents are lawyers will be much much bigger than it is for your kids and there are plenty of immigrants, brown and black people and even first generation college grad white posters here and we know better than you how social mobility works b/c its something we have experienced for ourselves, not just read about in the Atlantic and VOX. I've seen first hand the difference in girls who go to George mason vs. even UVA/George Washington and what they've gone on to do with their lives. Exposure to a wider set of possibilities and the self concept that you are one of the ppl who should be applying to post docs at Magdalen college and MS at LSE and opening businesses with friends you met at NYU Beijing are vastly different than a fed contractor driving to target and their home in Burke with no USAID/FSO posting in sight day after miserable day. Many ppl on here have benefited from their superior merit and work ethic and want make sure that their kids move that one rung up to having even more choices and possibilities when their grandparents struggled and sacrificed. That is what ppl move here for, if I wanted to keep treading water, my father should've stayed home and not left his family and everyone he held dear.


The latter describes my parents and let me tell you, people in Burke are fine and live nice lives.
Anonymous
Post 09/21/2023 21:17     Subject: Re:I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Look to your left and look to your right at work and what schools did people attend undergrad? The point people are making that 20-30 years out you can end up the same place short of a handful of careers that only recruit from specific programs. But that said, the journey can be harder for kids if the college isn’t a great fit however that’s defined for your kid.

My one kid ended up at a SLAC. There was a lot that went into finding colleges where they thought they would thrive more, prepare them for their career interest, and fit into our budget. Our other kid is looking at large state schools. But it also makes perfect sense given their academic interests, their social group and what they enjoy doing, and what they want to do post college. It would be harder if my kid that wants a big state school went to a small SLAC and vice versa.
Anonymous
Post 09/21/2023 21:16     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
If it does not matter, then people should be perfectly content with sending their kid to a community college.

If you dont, then you are saying it matters where your kid goes to college.

People can say whatever they want, look at what they actually do.

If it does not matter, we wont have this forum and people wont bother posting here. The very fact that you are posting here means, you think where you go to college matters.
Anonymous
Post 09/21/2023 21:02     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
It matters. For parents’ egos that is.
Anonymous
Post 09/21/2023 21:00     Subject: I find it annoying when people get on here and say it really doesn't matter where your kid goes
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m one of the posters who think it doesn’t matter and I’m on here a lot. My kid will still go somewhere, preferably to a place not that stressful that’s a nice place to live and not a pressure cooker. I’m here to find out about those little schools I hadn’t heard about that aren’t high in the rankings. We have looked at a lot of websites of places that I first heard about on DCUM.
Are you really saying that prestige doesn’t matter? It sounds like you care a lot about your kid, and want the educational setting that will be best for THEM.


Exactly that. I want the best school for them, which I think is a low pressure school that all of us can afford. Probably a smaller one and a school that definitely doesn’t have big lecture halls. I have learned a lot of interesting things on this forum about schools I’ve never heard of. No, I don’t think prestige matters at all.