Anonymous
Post 09/19/2023 16:08     Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:The title is wrong. You aren't frigid. You just don't want to have sex with a man you have come to resent and look down on (which I don't blame you).

PSA to men: most women don't want to have sex with men that they dislike.


He should dump you or cheat on you.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2023 16:06     Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The title is wrong. You aren't frigid. You just don't want to have sex with a man you have come to resent and look down on (which I don't blame you).

PSA to men: most women don't want to have sex with men that they dislike.


Also most women come to dislike most men if they spend enough time with those men.


This truism ought to be carved in stone someplace.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2023 15:58     Subject: frigid wife
Exactly why I divorced. Best decision ever.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2023 15:47     Subject: Re:frigid wife


If you truly want to stay married you have to make up your mind to be happy. Lower your standards or hire help. Your kids don’t need to witness a crabby Mom contemptuous of their father. Divorce or make the best of it.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2023 15:34     Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is so many marriages among my friends - the wife says hubby is hitting her up for more sex and she's like why do you possibly think i'd want to have sex with you when you just let me shoulder so much of the burden in our lives while you "try your best"


I can answer this. When H finally agreed to go to therapy - it was that or divorce - I realized he literally did not hear me when I thought I was being totally blunt. It was not until the therapist told him, "If you want to stay marriage, you need to pick up more chores around the house," that he began to understand. My H was adamantly opposed to me quitting work or cutting back to part time but just stopped when he "got tired." He could not understand that "just stopping" when we were out of clean clothes and dishes, and lunches needed to be packed, was not an option.


Quoting again to add: the result was that H agreed to do half of the necessary things but nothing he deemed "extra." I fought it for a while, but then realized that if I wanted to entertain, or teach the children to send thank you notes, or participate in certain activities, it would all be on me. He believed that the bare minimum cleaning, eating, etc. was all that was required.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2023 15:33     Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:This is so many marriages among my friends - the wife says hubby is hitting her up for more sex and she's like why do you possibly think i'd want to have sex with you when you just let me shoulder so much of the burden in our lives while you "try your best"


Because they read it on the internet and it sounds like a good excuse.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2023 15:31     Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for your husband. You clearly do not love him. Why on earth would you do anything to please you?


Exactly, he’s not doing anything because he knows it’s over in your mind. Just get a divorce, so that you both can find happiness.

more than likely, he started to "not do anything" a long time ago, and OP's resentment has just been growing since then.

"Just get a divorce"... so, is he not going to have joint custody for the kids? If he does, will he all of a sudden start cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids stuff? You know that divorce requires even more coordination for childcare. Do you think that OP's DH who is already checked out will all of a sudden be able to now coordinate all the childcare stuff, as well as cook and clean, once he's divorced?
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2023 15:26     Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:This is so many marriages among my friends - the wife says hubby is hitting her up for more sex and she's like why do you possibly think i'd want to have sex with you when you just let me shoulder so much of the burden in our lives while you "try your best"


I can answer this. When H finally agreed to go to therapy - it was that or divorce - I realized he literally did not hear me when I thought I was being totally blunt. It was not until the therapist told him, "If you want to stay marriage, you need to pick up more chores around the house," that he began to understand. My H was adamantly opposed to me quitting work or cutting back to part time but just stopped when he "got tired." He could not understand that "just stopping" when we were out of clean clothes and dishes, and lunches needed to be packed, was not an option.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2023 15:22     Subject: Re:frigid wife
OP I totally relate. My H says we have "robotic" sex. He has no interest in any of the things you mentioned. We have sex for 15 minutes a few times a month, and I take care of myself. We don't want to divorce and because he's checked out I can do whatever I want. My empathies.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2023 14:26     Subject: Re:frigid wife
It's a chicken and egg thing. Assigning blame is silly. It takes two to get stuck in the mud.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2023 14:20     Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:I feel so sorry for your husband. You clearly do not love him. Why on earth would you do anything to please you?


Exactly, he’s not doing anything because he knows it’s over in your mind. Just get a divorce, so that you both can find happiness.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2023 14:11     Subject: frigid wife
Anonymous wrote:You sound miserable, OP.

Please do your husband a favor and divorce him; he deserves so much better.


guy here - I think you either have an issue with reading comprehension or you head is so far up for own a$$$ that you really can't see clearly anymore.

But what's important is that you have this completely backwards. The DH sounds completely checked out.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2023 14:05     Subject: frigid wife
He sound like such a turn-off. Mine was abusive but still wanted sex. He did not understand that I didn't want it after being mistreated all day.
He also thought it was simply woman's duty. I left finally and having great time now.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2023 13:47     Subject: frigid wife
Men are not worth the trouble.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2023 13:44     Subject: frigid wife
Are you SAHM or WOH?