Anonymous wrote:For younger elementary kids, the rule in my kids' school is (steps escalate if/as they don't solve the problem):

1. Tell them to stop.
2. Walk away.
3. Get help from a teacher.

Use this framework, explain it to her kid, ask her to deploy it. Then it's not "this kid is always bothering mine all the time" but a more actionable compliant (from the kid) for the teacher to address.

Yes this.

Also OP, I had an experience like this as a kid, except I was the teaser. The boy's mother screamed at me about it. Having another adult point out I was crossing a line would have been a much better way to handle it. I was maybe 8? Kids need help learning these skills.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For younger elementary kids, the rule in my kids' school is (steps escalate if/as they don't solve the problem):

1. Tell them to stop.
2. Walk away.
3. Get help from a teacher.

Use this framework, explain it to her kid, ask her to deploy it. Then it's not "this kid is always bothering mine all the time" but a more actionable compliant (from the kid) for the teacher to address.

Op here. I have coached DD to ignore, ask to stop, not engage, use her words, etc. I emailed the teacher. I don’t want to make this a big deal but it is upsetting DD because she can’t play with her friends. The other kids are taunting that she has a boyfriend and she hates this unwanted attention. These kids are SIX!!

You need to make this a big deal. Get the principal involved if the teacher is not responding.

Toxic masculinity!

Anonymous wrote:Tell the teacher, the counselor and the mother of the kid.

Tell her that if the boy is not controlled then you will escalate to the principal and fill a harassment report using the word "bullying".

Fair warning.

You are over the top.

Anonymous wrote:For younger elementary kids, the rule in my kids' school is (steps escalate if/as they don't solve the problem):

1. Tell them to stop.
2. Walk away.
3. Get help from a teacher.

Use this framework, explain it to her kid, ask her to deploy it. Then it's not "this kid is always bothering mine all the time" but a more actionable compliant (from the kid) for the teacher to address.

Op here. I have coached DD to ignore, ask to stop, not engage, use her words, etc. I emailed the teacher. I don’t want to make this a big deal but it is upsetting DD because she can’t play with her friends. The other kids are taunting that she has a boyfriend and she hates this unwanted attention. These kids are SIX!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For younger elementary kids, the rule in my kids' school is (steps escalate if/as they don't solve the problem):

1. Tell them to stop.
2. Walk away.
3. Get help from a teacher.

Use this framework, explain it to her kid, ask her to deploy it. Then it's not "this kid is always bothering mine all the time" but a more actionable compliant (from the kid) for the teacher to address.

Agree with this. If your daughter has told him to stop herself and that doesn’t work, she needs to tell the teacher herself. If that doesn’t work then I would be in touch with the teacher. Give her the opportunity to solve her own problem first though.

I would not contact the mother

Agree with this. You do not contact the mother.
You suggest clear ways your child can tell the other child to stop and how to get away from the situation. You suggest to your child what to say to the teacher if after a few attempts at stopping the unwanted attention it's still happening and you give permission for your child to go straight to the teacher if the other child touches her in an unwanted way. You follow up with your child to ask if the bothering has stopped and what the teacher has done, if anything. If things improve, praise your child for speaking up for herself. If things don't improve, you go to the teacher and ask what they have done since your child went to them about the other child's behavior.

I'd work on your helping your daughter stand up for herself. Teach her about consent and how being pursued after you've said no is rude. She needs to tell the boy to stop, clearly. The next step is that she needs to tell the boy to stop, loudly. The 3rd step is involving the teachers.

Role play with her. She should make eye contact and say "leave me alone". The next time she should yell "I asked you to leave me alone!" and if that doesn't work, she needs to tell the teacher (and you) and then the adults handle it.