I bare knuckled my way through CBT etc. and didn't find relief until I tried medication. The medication helped me access the skills I was learning in therapy. Before the medication, therapy was just white noise and something I was hearing but not internalizing. Anxiety is easily treated with fluoxetine (Prozac), which is also easy to discontinue if needed. Talk to her doctor about your options.

Please get some therapy for your child. Our daughter also has anxiety and is doing much better now with therapy (CBT) and some medication.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find the root cause.

They did. It's anxiety.

not helpful.

What is triggering her anxiety?

My DD has anxiety, usually brought on by stressful situations, but the anxiety doesn't hit till days later, and always at night when she's trying to sleep. Her mind is till, and quiet, and this is when her mind tries to process all the stressful events in her life. That's when her anxiety hits.

DD was in therapy. She had this issue since a traumatic event in ES. She's now 15, and she's gotten a lot better. When it hits at night, I climb into her bed, hold her, and talk her though it. During the day, we do talk therapy where we talk through the stressful events, and what would happen if... I think that has helped her and put her mind at ease.

For us, medicating is the absolute last resort and only if her anxiety becomes so great that it is impacting her day to day life. She's not there, and hopefully, won't ever be.

Ok, but what happens in a few years when she's off at college where stressful situations are increased and the ability for mom to climb in bed for comfort is zero?

PP here.. yes, I do worry about that, and mentioned it to DD.

She feels she can handle it, especially as she gets more mature. We'll have to see how it goes. As I said, I'm not ruling out rx completely, just that it's not the go to unless it impacts her day to day life.

Anonymous wrote:Take this with a grain of salt as I have two neurotypical teens.

If your daughter had a physical illness and all your home remedies weren't curing that physical illness, wouldn't your next step be to take her to the doctor and get a medication to alleviate the symptoms/make it better?

Couldn't the same be said of a mental illness such as anxiety? If your daughter was physically sick and no homeopathic treatments were working, it would be common sense to give her medicine. Why the hesitation when treating a mental illness?

Good luck.

Because physical ailments and mental ailments are not the same.
There is not agreement in medical science that psychotropic meds are the best or most appropriate answer for all mental health issues. And it is generally agreed that if one can effectively treat depression symptoms with a shower, a walk outside, or throwing oneself into service acts that benefit others, then you try that first rather than hop into a daily regimine of happy pills or mood stabilizers that numb or stimulate a part of your brain and come with a plethora of moderate to sever side effects.
OP is right to exercise caution.

For years parents were advised to hop on the Ritalin train to get little boys to be calmer and more classroom compliant. It worked.
But there are a large percentage of those kids who are now adukts saying that they didn’t actually experience LIVING as a child. No highs or lows.
Just numbness.
It fixed the problem at hand, but at what cost.

Again, OP is right to be cautious about meds.

I would make sure you exhaust all other avenues of adapting and coping and cognitive behavioral therapy before getting your kid psychologically dependent on a drug to alter her universe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I wish my parents had medicated me as a teen. I suffered so much needlessly because back then (mid-to-late 90s), being in therapy was very hush-hush and seen as such a personal failure for the parent and person in therapy.

Me too. My experience as a child and teenager would have been so different without anxiety. In college and graduate school I was eventually able to get professional help and develop coping skills, but it was a lot harder road than it needed to be, and I missed a lot of opportunities because my anxiety was firmly in control and I didn't know how to take it back.

Yep, same. There were so many things I wanted to do as a teen that I avoided because of my anxiety... sports teams, debate, dates, joining clubs, theater, etc. There were also times when my anxiety caused my grades to suffer. I had a teacher who required us to speak & participate at least twice in each class to receive participation points. I almost never received mine and without those, a low A was all I could score in the class even with perfect exam scores. I also did not accept a scholarship that I won because it required giving a small speech to thank the organization during the awards assembly and having my picture taken with the presenters and I knew I couldn't do it. I misspelled words on purpose during our grade-wide spelling bee because I didn't want to win and have to spell in front of the entire school or other schools. I faked being sick to skip an AP Biology trip to Wallops Island because the thought of camping and canoeing gave me such anxiety.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find the root cause.

They did. It's anxiety.

not helpful.

What is triggering her anxiety?

My DD has anxiety, usually brought on by stressful situations, but the anxiety doesn't hit till days later, and always at night when she's trying to sleep. Her mind is till, and quiet, and this is when her mind tries to process all the stressful events in her life. That's when her anxiety hits.

DD was in therapy. She had this issue since a traumatic event in ES. She's now 15, and she's gotten a lot better. When it hits at night, I climb into her bed, hold her, and talk her though it. During the day, we do talk therapy where we talk through the stressful events, and what would happen if... I think that has helped her and put her mind at ease.

For us, medicating is the absolute last resort and only if her anxiety becomes so great that it is impacting her day to day life. She's not there, and hopefully, won't ever be.

Ok, but what happens in a few years when she's off at college where stressful situations are increased and the ability for mom to climb in bed for comfort is zero?

Anonymous wrote:

I wish my parents had medicated me as a teen. I suffered so much needlessly because back then (mid-to-late 90s), being in therapy was very hush-hush and seen as such a personal failure for the parent and person in therapy.

Me too. My experience as a child and teenager would have been so different without anxiety. In college and graduate school I was eventually able to get professional help and develop coping skills, but it was a lot harder road than it needed to be, and I missed a lot of opportunities because my anxiety was firmly in control and I didn't know how to take it back.

I would also rule out ADHD. That was the underlying cause of my daughter’s anxiety.

Also there are many better natural supplements that help - magnesium glycinate has helped many. But you must take it was Vit D. And make sure they are getting sleep, a multi bit, and eating well.

Sugar and food dyes are the worst

I recommend Dr Amen - lots of great info. Not against medication but there are many things you try before that.

My daughter is now off Zoloft (initially prescribed for anxiety) and taking natural meds, has an ADHD planner, and works with an executive functioning coach once a week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find the root cause.

They did. It's anxiety.

The root cause of the anxiety.

Dp. There's not always a root cause.

You and your spouse argue with her (I'm sure she starts it), but you two are adults. You want to medicate her so she won't "provoke" arguments? How about you and your spouse get some counseling to learn how to support your dd as she is going through therapy. It's been 2 months. If she isn't participating in therapy, her provider should refer her for medicine evaluation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find the root cause.

They did. It's anxiety.

The root cause of the anxiety.

Our daughter takes anti-anxiety medication. We tried all the things first - multiple therapists of different flavors, OT, speech therapy screening for underlying biological causes...all the things, with no success. Finally we started medication and we wish we had done it sooner. Within the first few days we noticed changes in her behavior and anxiety levels. For the first time some of the other therapies were helpful because her anxiety was enough in check for her to be able to access the tools the therapists were giving her. It wasn't a miracle cure - she's still a person with anxiety. But she's on the path to having strategies to manage it. We don't know how long she'll be on it - it could be a forever thing, or it could be for a few years while she learns coping skills and unlearns some of the safety behavior that became second nature when anxiety ruled her life.

For those saying "find the underlying cause," know that that's not always helpful. Sure, don't just medicate as a first line of defense and stop there. And sure, if your child has anxiety that arises from a traumatic experience, addressing that trauma is important. For those of us with a genetic predisposition to unbalaced neurochemistry, well, *that's* the underlying cause. In my daughter's case it's almost certainly genetic, given that I have anxiety as does my mom. Be aware that your experience with anxiety isn't some universal experience with anxiety.

100% yes!

As someone who suffers from anxiety, medication has been the only thing that has helped me. Cognitive behavior therapy did teach me some coping skills, but medicine has been the only thing that has stopped my anxiety and panic attacks.

I wish my parents had medicated me as a teen. I suffered so much needlessly because back then (mid-to-late 90s), being in therapy was very hush-hush and seen as such a personal failure for the parent and person in therapy.

My one kid has anxiety and we went the medication route. She's on a very low dose (25mg) and it has been great for her. She's much more confident and social when medicated compared to when she was only doing therapy.

We encouraged our type-A DD to consider medication for anxiety in high school. She was in therapy. She refused. She chose to start taking it in college and regrets waiting. It took a couple of tries, but she found something that, to her, has majorly improved her life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Find the root cause.

They did. It's anxiety.

not helpful.

What is triggering her anxiety?

My DD has anxiety, usually brought on by stressful situations, but the anxiety doesn't hit till days later, and always at night when she's trying to sleep. Her mind is till, and quiet, and this is when her mind tries to process all the stressful events in her life. That's when her anxiety hits.

DD was in therapy. She had this issue since a traumatic event in ES. She's now 15, and she's gotten a lot better. When it hits at night, I climb into her bed, hold her, and talk her though it. During the day, we do talk therapy where we talk through the stressful events, and what would happen if... I think that has helped her and put her mind at ease.

For us, medicating is the absolute last resort and only if her anxiety becomes so great that it is impacting her day to day life. She's not there, and hopefully, won't ever be.