I don't know if it's fully possible these days, but limiting access to media where casual sex is the norm and/or watching movies/shows with them and talking about it.

I was never allowed to watch "mature" shows growing up (like 90210 was forbidden). I could only watch things like Full house and Cosby. I think watching something where sex among high schoolers was the norm would have changed my attitude.

Also, any modern day sex talk should include warnings about pirn, particularly warning that it is not what you should expect in real life with real people.

Lol about church being the answer. So many of my friends had their first time at the church lock-ins and Young Life retreats.

Anonymous wrote:The starting point is having a personal morality that you work from infancy to inculcate into your child, teaching that sexual relations have meaning beyond the mechanics and are not simply pleasant friction between two hormonally attracted individuals.

+1
Most teens globally are not having sex, so it is actually not the norm to be sexually active. In fact, I wonder why any teen would have sex? It makes them vulnerable and messes them up in so many ways.

I think that how teens think about sex is a function of their family dynamics, socialization, attitude of the parents and culture. Also, teens who lack a sense of purpose and pride in their achievement, and who do not get time from the parents - quality and quantity - are more apt to have sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The starting point is having a personal morality that you work from infancy to inculcate into your child, teaching that sexual relations have meaning beyond the mechanics and are not simply pleasant friction between two hormonally attracted individuals.

This. You can also discourage/ interfere with the boyfriend concept at the age of 15.

+1. The family being active in a church or synagogue can be a big help.

I don’t think so. Not with the top leaders of some of these religions being caught in all sorts of scandals, sex, money, cheating. Priests preying on the vulnerable, Mormon cults marrying 14 year old girls to 70 year olds.

Even though the cheaters and thieves leading church are a minority they get a lot of publicity. Plus there’s been many studies that show religious teens have the same percentage of sexually active teens with no religion

+1 I almost envy this poster for their profound innocence/ignorance but it’s a dangerous way for any parent to think.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The starting point is having a personal morality that you work from infancy to inculcate into your child, teaching that sexual relations have meaning beyond the mechanics and are not simply pleasant friction between two hormonally attracted individuals.

This. You can also discourage/ interfere with the boyfriend concept at the age of 15.

+1. The family being active in a church or synagogue can be a big help.

I don’t think so. Not with the top leaders of some of these religions being caught in all sorts of scandals, sex, money, cheating. Priests preying on the vulnerable, Mormon cults marrying 14 year old girls to 70 year olds.

Even though the cheaters and thieves leading church are a minority they get a lot of publicity. Plus there’s been many studies that show religious teens have the same percentage of sexually active teens with no religion

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:lol I grew up around purity culture where many girls based their worth on their virginity. Purity rings worth five figures were commonplace.

I will say that I have never known so many girls having anal sex as at my conservative high school.

Five figures? What? I can't even handle the idea of four figure purity rings.

I can’t even handle the idea of a four figure wedding ring.

Anonymous wrote:lol I grew up around purity culture where many girls based their worth on their virginity. Purity rings worth five figures were commonplace.

I will say that I have never known so many girls having anal sex as at my conservative high school.

Five figures? What? I can't even handle the idea of four figure purity rings.

You could try, but Romeo and Juliet is an example of how that can go.

Anonymous wrote:The starting point is having a personal morality that you work from infancy to inculcate into your child, teaching that sexual relations have meaning beyond the mechanics and are not simply pleasant friction between two hormonally attracted individuals.

+1

Anonymous wrote:The starting point is having a personal morality that you work from infancy to inculcate into your child, teaching that sexual relations have meaning beyond the mechanics and are not simply pleasant friction between two hormonally attracted individuals.

Another +1 (NP)

lol I grew up around purity culture where many girls based their worth on their virginity. Purity rings worth five figures were commonplace.

I will say that I have never known so many girls having anal sex as at my conservative high school.

You could in the olden days, pre internet. My mother convinced me I was fat, I was disgusting to touch, and also conveniently never told me sex can feel good nor that women can orgasm. I thought doing anything sexual was done for the enjoyment of the guy.

I dodnt have sex until college. Because i was a big nerd and didn't get things about boys and was too shy/nerdy. Hoping for same for my girls. And getting them into math, robotics etc. But also getting them HPV vac and birth control early.

ugh. You can't. I found a condom (new but packet opened) in the basement where I knew DS (almost 18 at the time) and his gf were hanging out. I don't think they did it there since we were all in the house, and he knows that I go down to the basement where we have our freezer. I think it fell out of his pocket.

I guess I should be glad that he's using a condom, but ugh.. I was a bit flummoxed.

I have had a long chat with both DS and DD about sex, STDs and pregnancy, and that getting pregnant as a young person without being married would be incredibly hard, especially for the girl. And for DS, if he ever got a girl pregnant, his life as he knows it would be over. He'd basically have no life other than school, work, and childcare. I've made that very clear.

I know DD 15 is not active (yet). She's a late bloomer, and she's not into boys and relationships yet.

At 15 you control most of the access. Mary struggle between how I felt about sex (strict Catholic upbringing) and wanting DC to wait for a significant relationship, preferably post high school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The starting point is having a personal morality that you work from infancy to inculcate into your child, teaching that sexual relations have meaning beyond the mechanics and are not simply pleasant friction between two hormonally attracted individuals.

This. You can also discourage/ interfere with the boyfriend concept at the age of 15.

+1. The family being active in a church or synagogue can be a big help.

Agree, plus a ton of family activities and EC events. Make it virtually impossible for a child this age to have time to spend on a boyfriend