Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the brides parents are paying at least $30K, anything above that is on the couple. $30K is a average wedding budget.

Some wedding dresses are $10K, that's not much.

But most dresses are not $10K. Just as most weddings aren't $100K. Those are outliers. If you have a $30K budget, you aren't going to spend $10k on the dress. There are plenty of dresses out there that are far less than $10K.

If they can’t even pay for the wedding themselves, they are not ready to get married.

My parents gave both my brother and I $35k each for our weddings - no gender difference, which I think is the right thing to do.

My husband’s parents gave us $15K but gave his sister substantially more for her wedding.

Anonymous wrote:If bride's parents can't afford to pay for the type of wedding that the couple wants, shouldn't the grooms family step up and contribute? What are the rules now for paying for a wedding?

WTF? In this scenario, the couple pays for their own wedding.

My parents paid 75% of our wedding and husband paid 25%. I was a broke medical intern on a small stipend and my in-laws were broke as well because their lifestyle and earnings were always out of balance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They should ABSOLUTELY step up if they're expecting a certain kind of event/number of guests that isn't in the budget.

Otherwise no obligation.

I agree - if either set of parents feels strongly that the wedding needs to be a certain thing, then they ought to offer to help pay. Otherwise I think whatever is in the couple’s budget is what you go with.

Exactly. Whoever wants whatever, pays for it.

Anonymous wrote:No one should have to fund an expensive wedding if the couple can't afford it.

If grooms parents would like to chip in and can afford to, that is lovely. But sticking them with the bill because the couple can't afford it is gross and entitled.

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They should ABSOLUTELY step up if they're expecting a certain kind of event/number of guests that isn't in the budget.

Otherwise no obligation.

I agree - if either set of parents feels strongly that the wedding needs to be a certain thing, then they ought to offer to help pay. Otherwise I think whatever is in the couple’s budget is what you go with.

And the bolded happens more than these types of DCUM threads tend to admit.

or if you are JLo and throwing weddings is a PR stunt.

All of us witness dream weddings and drastic divorces on regular basis. Keep it affordable, unless your dad or FIL is a king and royal firm is paying for the drama.

Anonymous wrote:If bride's parents can't afford to pay for the type of wedding that the couple wants, shouldn't the grooms family step up and contribute? What are the rules now for paying for a wedding?

No. Couple should he able to fund their wants themselves or accept their reality.

Wedding should be a simple, intimate and fun affair where a couple announces and celebrates their union with their loved ones. Its not supposed to be a Hollywood/Bollywood/Royal level affair to drain your savings.

Anonymous wrote:If bride's parents can't afford to pay for the type of wedding that the couple wants, shouldn't the grooms family step up and contribute? What are the rules now for paying for a wedding?

This is 2023, no arrange marriages of minors, no dowry, no parents footing the bill. You have a simple wedding when you want or delay it until you've enough to have a fancy wedding. If parents of either or partner wants to and are able to gift them money, they do and it doesn't have to be an equal contribution.

Anonymous wrote:They should ABSOLUTELY step up if they're expecting a certain kind of event/number of guests that isn't in the budget.

Otherwise no obligation.

I agree - if either set of parents feels strongly that the wedding needs to be a certain thing, then they ought to offer to help pay. Otherwise I think whatever is in the couple’s budget is what you go with.

Anonymous wrote:If the brides parents are paying at least $30K, anything above that is on the couple. $30K is a average wedding budget.

$30K is the average of reported budgets, meaning budgets of people who are so into Their Special Day that they'll tell a stranger the details.

If you can't put on a party for $30K, you're a mess.

If you want to be married, get married. Spend what you have saved for a wedding.